...not to do 3 daysworth of washing up...

[mebythesea]

Because dh said after dinner on sat "you leave the dishes i'll do them in a bit". And he's still not done them or sunday or mondays dishes... Am i a slob? Would you have caved in by now and done them yourself? I have just put 3 dc's to bed and cleaned bathroom, think im gona lose it if i go downstairs and he's sitting infront of the tv. Adsvise please on how to move on, do i do them, do i wait it out, do i have it out?!

Do you not speak to your DH? has he not metioned the 3 day old washing up?

If it's an ongoing issue that you can deal with calmly, then do so. Don't go and shout, it'll cause a huge argument. But don't "just do it" and expect him to know why you're simmering with resentment!

No he hasnt mentioned it. Ive been at work all dayy. He works from home. He cooked this eve for first time in weeks. I usual.ly cook and washup. Very 1950's i know. I do resent it but have given up trying to get him to do it. He does this abnoying thing of tidying up the washing iup but dioesnt actually wash uop, so i did that earlier, and have left it for him to do.

Sorry typing on phone=bad spelling!

stick it out if you can

admire your determination

I dont know how anyone can cook around loads of mess. Minging.

Put the saucepans on his desk

I thought my DH was the only one who tidied the washing up without doing it. It all gets very neatly stacked beside the sink, forks, knives and spoons in separate cups, and we even have a dishwasher.

I'd be tempted to say "You do realise that I'll have to start being a boring nag if you don't do the washing up like you promised"

But then, DP also works from home and does 90% of the cooking and all the laundry plus a good share of everything else...

I am gettin grossed out by it, but feel that he should bloomin well do it if he said he would. I work pt and he wks ft at home so it's not like he cant notice it. We have run out of cuttlery and cups now too....

I don't understand why you can't just say, "weren't you doing the dishes?"

I could say that but sort of feel ffs you MUST have noticed the washin up mounting up by the sink and you said youd do ity so F-ingwell do it without me having to nag. Just feel like digginbg my heels inb thius time. He is gettibn a taste of what its like for ne to just be expectyed to do it day in day out...

surely one adult would say to another adult by sunday hey you said you would do the dishes, can you do them now so that i can do x y and z

I know.... Just very immature.

Im amazed you have any pots left to use tbh, i too dont understand why you didnt remind him that he'd said he would do them (i know he's not a child, but still some men are like this). Could he have forgot? and also be wondering why youve not done the?

We wouldnt be able to move with 3 days worth of pots in the kitchen.

You wash and he dries or vice versa.
And then you can both sit down

"dh said after dinner on sat "you leave the dishes i'll do them in a bit". "

Why don't you gently joke to him about wondering how long "a bit" is?

OMG he is actually doing them! Woohoo! With a lot of huffing and puffing and sighing i miight add. Ah the waiting game paid off after all ;)

I once left a mop and (full) bucket in the middle of the kitchen floor for three whole weeks after DH had used it and left it there.

Although I did end up emptying it in the end so probably didn't gain much.

Hooray, victory. Did you nudge or did he give in remember?

I'd have no kitchen or dishes left. If there's dishes to be washed, one of us just gets on and washes them. No game playing involved. Besides, 3 day old washing up is just minging.

Well i just obviously wasnt going to do it so he said "oh yeh i was gona do the washin up wasnt i", i think he was holding out for me to do it as usual. But i gave him The Look and i think he thought better of it. Yes it was a bit minging, but not too bad as i'd done his anoying trick of tidying it up...i wonder if the technique will extend to the laundry, hoovering, ironing,shopping....