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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask her to turn the TV off?

21 replies

Harriet81 · 28/11/2011 17:57

Hi,

My LO has been at the child minder once a week for the last couple of months of my maternity leave which has been going realy well and she is a lovely lady. Previously she has said she hates the TV and doesn't put it on however I have found the TV on on a couple of occaisions when I collected him in the past but I have now started back at work three days a week and it really concerns me.

Its a matter I feel strongly about and we don't have the TV on at home when our LO is around as there is more than enough stimulation without it. When I collected him today from her the TV was on, he was sat directly in front of it and when I questioned our CM (as gently and diplomatically as poss) she said that its sometimes on at lunch time and every evening when her teenage daughters get back from school. I reitterated that I avoid the having the TV on with him at home as he doesn't need it and she agreed but saying that she couldn't help it when her daughters watched TV. As I was in a hurry I left it at that. The girls do have another TV in a seperate room which they could watch instead.

He is a very calm and content 8 month old and doesn't need to watch TV for entertainment.

Can I ask her to not put it on in his presence? What should I do? Advice greatly recieved.

Many thanks

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 28/11/2011 17:58

If she was sitting him in front of it for the whole day, fair enough. But if it is just for a short period of time, it really isnt going to damage your child at all!

Andrewofgg · 28/11/2011 18:01

If she hates the TV why is it there? Or if it's too big to move why is it not unplugged to remove temptation?

LineRunnerSaturnalia · 28/11/2011 18:02

Tricky one. My old CM was 'not a TV watcher' - which was true - but her husband used to have it on so LOUD when I went to collect the DCs ... but that was just an after-school arrangement.

I think if your child is little and you suspect the TV is on all the time, you might need to discuss how much is acceptable. If you can't agree, you might need a different CM. But a little TV isn't going to hurt - is it?

halcyondays · 28/11/2011 18:03

He doesn't "need" the TV on, but what harm will it do if they have it on occasionally? Different if it was on all the time.

I remember watching Playschool at my lovely cm's as a child and then Pebble Mill would come on - I seem to have survived the experience!

squeakytoy · 28/11/2011 18:05

My priority with a childminder would be that my child was safe, clean, and content. I couldnt care less if Cbeebies was on, or Loose Women..

He is 8 months old, what do you expect her to do with him anyway? She is minding him, not educating him.

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/11/2011 18:07

Its her home and other children including her own may want to watch tv. If you dont like any TV at all for your child then perhaps a nursery with no TV is a better option.

newgirl · 28/11/2011 18:07

I'm all for a bit of Cbeebies but I'd be more worried if you lo is watching more teenage stuff just as it's loud and confusing probably. There must be a cm who has young children nearby?

south345 · 28/11/2011 18:10

She is educating him, or should be during the time hes there, childminders follow the same thing as nurseries and all children should be doing activities etc following the early years foundation stage, I am a childminder and have replied on the other thread, I have my tv on after school for my ds and after schoolers as they like some chill out time.

squeakytoy · 28/11/2011 18:12

What "education" does an 8 month old child need?

eaglewings · 28/11/2011 18:15

Where should school age child go to watch tv? Personally I hate tv's in children's bedrooms.

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly · 28/11/2011 18:16

He's 8 months and just likes the colours and movement surely. I don't think it matters whether that is coming entirely from flashing kids toys or a bit of tv.

RumpleForeskin · 28/11/2011 18:17

I don't allow TV at the CM's house either.

It's your right, you're paying her.

valiumredhead · 28/11/2011 18:18

Honestly imo if everything else is ok just suck it up and put it down to difference of opinion. Thing is if you really want to dictate exactly how your child is brought up you need to employ a nanny imo.

And CMs should not be 'educating' their mindees every given moment of the day - the whole point of using a CM is that it is a home environment and an lots of homes have the telly on at some point in the day.

fluffytowels · 28/11/2011 18:22

I think you may be being a little precious . Your baby is 8 months old so won't mind about content , and part of the deal with CM is that they cater for wide variety of ages.

I think a nursery setting might be more suitable for you if it is a big issue.

valiumredhead · 28/11/2011 18:23

Also OP, it's all very well saying you don't want it, but there will be older kids the CM has that do want to watch.

south345 · 28/11/2011 18:25

It's more helping him develop skills than educating, but you cant 'not allow' the tv it's not your choice in her house, you could request that your child is kept away from it but that's not always possible.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 28/11/2011 18:29

I think you're being a bit unreasonable to state that you don't want it on at any time. Chances are that although it's on, it's background noise for the children and they're pottering about playing with other things. Or at 8mo crawling about trying to play with things they shouldn't!

Assuming that your child is not the only one this person cares for, what if another person has said that watching x program at y time is part of their child's routine that they like to be followed as it signals that nap time follows?

A cm might not be the right environment for you.

TheFallenMadonna · 28/11/2011 18:30

I think you get to decide whether you use a CM who turns on the TV. This CM gets to choose whether your custom is worth her changing what she does. She isn't a nanny and you can't insist she does it your way.

Original poster

Harriet81 · 28/11/2011 18:40

Thank you all very much for all your helpful coments. I think have been a little over concerned and not stopped to think it all through properly.

Thanks, this has been very helpful!

OP posts:

Original poster

Harriet81 · 28/11/2011 18:56

She and I do get on well so I think I will have a chat with her just to see if there is any alternative for him for that time of day. I would never dictate to her, I know that isn't my place, and I know the parents of other children may have their own requests with regards to the TV. But I do want to discuss it with her.

OP posts:

fluffytowels · 28/11/2011 19:38

I once told my CM that DS (4) was telling me about video games he had watched older children play ( standard beat 'em up stuff). I asked if they could stick for Fifa or something non-violent when he was watching. She was fine with that, but I don't think I could have told her to turn it off completely.

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