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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to tell the consultant what I really think?

8 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 28/11/2011 17:08

I have had 4 ops on my kidneys (fun fun!) this summer. At least one of which went pretty seriously wrong. However, what was most stressful about the whole experience was that there are some odd but perfectly normal (iyswim) symptoms after these surgeries which no one warned me about but which could be made very clear on a simple aftercare handout.

Like, after one, you have the whole catheter and weeing blood experience - then it all heals up like you'd expect - but then about 2-3 weeks after healing you start weeing copious amounts of blood again. This is actually perfectly normal and to be expected, but no one specifically said this would happen and as you can imagine it massively freaked me out, cued panicked phone calls and GPs' appts, etc.

Another one is that after a different surgery, it's normal for a time to get increasing dull pain in the kidney. Now, obviously, you think something is wrong - actually, it isn't - but again, no one explained and I spent about 2 months up to going to see the consultant in his clinic convinced that I was going to lose the kidney.

Other things include the fact that no definite aftercare instructions were given - the nurse and consultant told me different things about showering, no one wrote down when I could drive again or go back to work, etc, so I just kind of guessed about those things.

It seems to me SO basic and obvious that you would just have a single side of A4 to give to people after this kind of op with stuff like 'here are some normal symptoms, don't worry if you have them' and 'don't drive for 4 weeks' or whatever.

WIBU to suggest this directly to the consultant? Or is he likely to think I am trying to tell him how to do his job or do I come over as a total hypochondriac stresshead?

OP posts:
ChitChattingElf · 28/11/2011 17:13

I think YANBU to make the suggestion. Treatment is not just the surgery, but after care as well! Sorry that you had to panic when simple explanations would have stopped you worrying about it all.

BarkisIsWillin · 28/11/2011 17:13

Is there a suggestion box anywhere in the vicinity of the hospital / consultant's rooms? If your consultant is any way chatty I think it would be good idea to bring it up. Sometimes medical people forget that the peasants - only using that word because of your username!! - don't know what they may think is obvious.

SnapesMistress · 28/11/2011 17:14

Thats sucks Peasant no harm in making the suggestion.

LineRunnerSaturnalia · 28/11/2011 17:16

I think it's good idea.

RevoltingPeasant · 28/11/2011 17:24

Barkis sneaking suspicion that suggestion boxes' contents get filed in the bin. Thought actually talking to the man in charge would be more effective. He is very brisk but not unfriendly, and this is not like me making small talk - I actually think it really matters that people do not have avoidable weeks of stress.

OP posts:
Dozer · 28/11/2011 17:35

YANBU. Am sorry about your ops and it going wrong.

For suggestions like this the PALs services can be good.

Dozer · 28/11/2011 17:36

And talking to consultants also good, they often respond quite well to polite challenge IME.

CarpeNoctem · 28/11/2011 17:55

Definitely not BU to suggest to the consultant or even in an email to his secretary. Doctors see their own procedures all the time and have known what's "normal" for years, so it's very easy to forget to mention this stuff to a patient because for them it's something they see every day and nothing out of the ordinary. An advice leaflet is a good idea anyway, because most people forget bits of the verbal discharge advice they've been given, so it's useful to have something to refer to during the recovery period.

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