AIBU to be feeling 'stuck'? WARNING: LONG VERSION

[newmum953]

6 months ago I had my daughter and now am at the point where I should be looking towards going back to work. Prior to having her I was a freelancer yet now that I have a baby I realise that is unrealistic due to the odd hours I used to work. Sometimes I feel frustrated with being at home - on a bad day I feel bored being around the house and like I am stressing over the littlest things with her behaviour/development. On a good day it feels like the best job in the world. I am so thankful I have this beautiful, healthy baby but wierdly have started to feel jealous of DH going to work and his work functions. I appreciate that it must be stressful for him and must be horrible always to come home when she's in bed. I think the issue is me longing to have something more than just being a mum, like my work. At the moment, I can't seem to face leaving her in daycare or with a childminder, am stressing hugely over leaving her with a stranger and getting a nanny is not an option due to budget. Family help is not an option as both my husband and I have no family that lives here. Don't know which job would let me leave at 5 anyway to go and pick up my baby from daycare. I just feel so unsure as to what the right solution is, as when I look at them all, nothing seems right. Ideally would like to work out a solution before we use up all our savings. Anyone else feel stuck?

"I realise that is unrealistic due to the odd hours I used to work." Is that because it was erratic/intermittent? Could you expand?

Hi ViviPru. I am a freelance designer and many times get called into agencies at the last minute or due to being on an urgent deadline, am expected to work a lot of additional hours to get the project done.

Perhaps try to find assignments where you can work regular hours? I'm a freelance designer, and I sell either whole or half days in advance to regular customers, so I can book my diary up and know exactly what I'm doing weeks, months ahead. Might make it easier to schedule childcare? Look into what other applications for your skills & experience other than agency design work...

I know its easier said than done, but I got most of my assignments in the first instance via recruitment agencies. And even if a company is advertising a position that is not necessarily freelance/flexible, I often open a dialogue with them and suggest the basis I'm prepared to work, and explain what would be in it for them, (flexibility/less commitment from them needed/cheaper than hiring a FT in-house staff member). You'd be surprised how successful this approach can be. Lots of places laid people off when the recession hit, and are now tentatively looking to build their businesses again without the huge risk of hiring permanent staff. Its an attractive prospect to have regular, reliable design support without having to fully commit to creating a F/T role.

I don't have DCs yet, but when I do, I will go from selling 5 (sometimes 7) days a week to however many works around the available/affordable childcare options I find...

Good luck...

lol, what do people think is gonna happen when they have children

er doh! your life is going to change - if it didnt, whats the point in having them

constructive