to want my DH to stop nagging me to exercise?

[choceyes]

My DH is a fitness freak! He cycles to work 20 miles a day, plays squash a couple of times a week, and given more opportunity (we have 2 small DCs so, not a lot of opportunity in the weekends) will happily go running, go club cycling in the weekends. He does triathlons too. Good on him and happy that he is fit and well and also saves commuting money by cycling - although he deos spend an awful lot on his bikes and clothes.

Anyway, he keeps nagging me that I need to do exercise. At the moment I feel fluey and achy. Both DCs had coughs and colds and I have been up with teething DD for weeks now without proper sleep.
His reason for me feeling ill is that....that I don't do enough exercise

I'm so tired by the end of the day as I'm either at work or with the DCs looking after them. I just want to veg out on the sofa and read a book or watch telly. He gives me the guilt trip every night that I should go out running after the kids have gone to sleep. This is the last thing I feel like doing at that time. He just doesn't get it.

He also perhaps jokingly points out my mummy belly (2 c-sections within 2 yrs and I still have a paunch) and that I am not slim as I used to be. I'm currently 8 stone 2lbs though, even if I am short at 5'2, hardly overweight.

I do like to exercise and have done stuff in the past, including 10K runs. I'm just too tired now. AIBU to ask him to leave me alone??!

YANBU to resent the nagging.

However (sorry).... I have bags more energy now that I exercise regularly, than I did when I didn't exercise at all. Plus I sleep better, my sex drive is higher and I am of course, slimmer.

I also find it really really valuable to have time away from the DCs doing something for myself. I exercise more for my mental than my physical health.

Just pointing out that the tiredness thing is a bit of a red herring. But if you don't want to exercise (everyone needs to exercise) then no-one should make you.

Crossed posts- he shouldn't be commenting unfavourably on your physique, of course. No wonder you switch off when he starts going on about it.

waterlego - you are right. I wish I did have the energy to exercise. I walk loads as I don't drive. I can easily walk 4-5 miles just into town and back daily, but it's not cardiovascular exercise so it doesn't really count I guess. It's a catch 22 situation. I know I will feel better if I exercise but it is so hard to summon up that energy to actually get going, especially when it's so cold and dark outside.

That is true Choc. Suggestion of the 30 Day Shred earlier was a good one - and you can do then when you don't feel like venturing out inthe cold and dark. Either first thing in the morning or as soon as DH gets home. It's hard, but short - and would def make a difference to how you feel and your body.

But yes, still need to tackle his insensitive approach.

It is very hard to make yourself do it, I agree. Walking can be cv certainly; as long as you're going at a pace that leaves you a bit breathless. I thought you meant you weren't doing any exercise at all but that's a lot of walking :)

I'm sure there was a thread recently with a number of helpful and sensitive suggestions for a woman who was no longer attracted to her husband because he was apparently overweight. I think they included motivational tips like chasing him down the street shouting "fatty boom boom" and withholding sex until he sorted it out. At least he hasn't taken that approach!

It has nothing to do with him, tell him to piss off and leave you in peace. You don't have to justify yourself, live your own life.

you walk 4-5 miles a day and it's not exercise of course it is, if you are pushing pushchair it is increasing your heart rate even if it is all on the flat, you seem to be on the lower end of weight for your height

I think 10,000 steps a day is considered good; 3 miles is 10,000 so 4-5 must be 15,000, most people do 3000 a day just walking round house up and down stairs ie 3-4000 is very sedantry, so yuo could be doing nearly 20,000 a day its hardly that you sit and watch TV from sun up to sun down; it sounds to me like you already do more than twice the amount of exercise the average woman does.

Dh needs to realise that though you may be pre-pregnancy weight children do change body shape and most women find their stomach is never as flat as it was and because of caesarians and scar tissue on muscles it might not be the same he needs to get a grip

an evening a week doing salsa or learning ceildh dancing might be good fun

tell him how you feel, tell him you do more exercise already than average and being awake at night and running around after kids you just need a bit of time to chill in your own way, you let him chill his way time for a bit of reciprocation

Yes in the morning on the way to work and nursery it is generally uphill the last 10 mins of a 30min walk and pushing a double buggy, so I do get a bit tired when I get to work. On the way back I carry DD in the sling (as she does not want to be put down in the buggy after being picked up at nursery) whilst pushing the double buggy home. and I more often than not pick up groceries on my way home too which I pile into the bag of the buggy.

He is always naggin his brother who is 19, to exercise too. He is a student and like most students, a bit lazy so sleeps in a lot. And DH is always bugging him to do this and that. And he doesn't understand it when his DB is sometimes short with him and less than receptive to his suggestions.

4-5 miles/day counts for a lot. Especially if you're actually carrying a toddler much of the time.
I will have walked 1.5 miles & cycled 4 miles today, just running DC around to places.
I am going to find a link that talks about the value of sub-aerobic exercise.