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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

2yo at ballet Aibu to say this too young

57 replies

Madeyemoodysmum · 27/11/2011 23:03

I am a regular but have name changed as I felt my old name could reveal my ID. Today I took dd 6yrs and parents to see the nutcracker for a birthday treat. Parents enjoy ballet and dd does lessons so I thought it would be a lovely day for them. Cost best part of £70 for 4 tickets.

On arrival I noticed a mother with 3 kids one of which was only just 2yrs old or maybe a little younger. May first thought was is she mad Bringing a child that young to professional ballet but settled down to watch show.

After 20mins or so 2yo got louder and more fidgety. This was annoying but tolerable. However after another 20mins I got irritated as parent seemed happy to let this disruption continue dispite frustrated looks from others in her vicinity I whispered to the usher that the child was very distracting and her response was to nod and laugh. Hello! It's your job to deal with this.

Eventually child had full blown tantrum and was removed by parent to relief of audience. The next few scenes were enjoyed but then she was back and got in and out of her row of seats 3 times in all during second half. The poor people in her row were up and down like a yo yo

My dd is six and I had reservations about taking her to ballet for fear of her getting bored. As far as I could see most children were 4 or older. She enjoyed it but am I alone in thinking it's ridiculous to expect a 2yo to sit through a 2hr show and then not even remove the child when she is clearly bored!

I'm so annoyed £70 is a lot of money to spend to have it ruined by inconsiderate parents!
Rant over...........

OP posts:

BoffinMum · 28/11/2011 08:58

Oh yes, and I am also of the school of thought where I Would.Happily.Throttle.My.Children.If.They.Were.Antisocial, but sometimes there is no point if they really aren't ready to do something.

andthisisme · 28/11/2011 09:04

YANBU. The only place I have taken DD like this was last years Panto, she was just 3 and coped just about okay.

This year we are going again and there is an actual age restriction - no under 3's. For Panto. Seems harsh, and children are different, but DD would not have coped before 3, so I can see why they are doing it. We are also going to do a cinema trip for the first time in the next couple of weeks (Arthur Christmas) and I am fully prepared for it to be full of toddlers because it's aimed at young children. Unlike ballet DS (16mths) will be staying home with my DM (Yes, I am lucky).

Mishy1234 · 28/11/2011 09:06

YANBU. 2 is too young to sit through such a long performance. It's ballet, not a pantomime.

I love the ballet, but haven't been for years as we have young children. The tickets are expensive and for some people it's the only time in the year they've managed to get the money together to go.

Mishy1234 · 28/11/2011 09:08

andthisisme - just read your post. I wasn't having a dig at you with my pant comment, just using it as an example. Sorry.

CrunchyFrog · 28/11/2011 09:17

andthisisme that would piss me off. Just because other people can't control their hell beasts, why should my tiny goblin miss out?

(I am not saying my children are special, BTW, but they have been forced to sit through shows etc since they were extremely tiny - they are used to it, and know how to behave. I find generally in parenting you get what you expect. There is a window between about 12 and 18 months where you genuinely shouldn't take them anywhere, as they are entirely unacceptable, but other than that we've never had an issue.)

SqueezeMeBakingPowder · 28/11/2011 09:23

YADNBU.
My niece is in a local amateur dramatics panto on saturday, it didn't even cross my mind to take my 20m ds. He'd hate it! I would assume most under 2's would, and panto's are aimed at children.
A ballet? Well I agree in thinking 6yrs is the very minimum age to take a child. The nutcracker is a more child friendly ballet, but a toddler would never understand what's going on!
Very selfish of that parent to have their child spoil the expensive ballet for everyone, and yes there are times when taking a small child is unavoidable. The ballet, however, is not one of them!

pigletmania · 28/11/2011 09:31

Ballets tend to be long and boring, and sometimes even the most good as gold toddler will find it difficult, as others have said, even some adults do so what chance has a young toddler at the later part of the day got.

MillyR · 28/11/2011 09:36

Crunchyfrog, if you are having to put your 2 year old under all this pressure, with talk of 'force' and how you would kill them, are any of you really enjoying the experience?

I'm not saying that young children shouldn't go to the theatre - some productions are put with very young children in mind - Elmer and so on. But I don't see the point in going if you are locked in some sort of battle of wills to force a small child through something. You'd be better off leaving it a couple of years.

andthisisme · 28/11/2011 09:37

Mishy no worries, I know you weren't (pant comment, brilliant! )

Crunchy I though it was strange too, but I don't remember there being a restriction last year, so I'm guessing there is reasoning behind it. The tickets are not cheap, in fact mine have cost over £60 for 2 adults and two children and if I'd gone a day before, it would have cost over £120. I would be very cheesed off if there was a baby/young toddler crying near me through it.

andthisisme · 28/11/2011 09:41

Well put MillyR

gettingalifenow · 28/11/2011 09:41

I can't believe the theatre doesnt have restrictions on a young children! I've never thought to check ticket conditions myself but will always check from now on. I'd be furious. YABNBU

Floggingmolly · 28/11/2011 09:41

troisgarcons, I wonder how many of the audience had left their young children at home with a babysitter in order to enjoy an adult night out? There is nothing as irratating as doing this, and then having the dubious pleasure of someone elses young child in your face when you're trying to relax.
As lots of people have pointed out already, it's not panto where you would at least have expected this.
You are NBU, op.

DeWe · 28/11/2011 09:43

Does depend on the child. Dd1 first went to the theatre at 2yo and other than a small wibble when the lights first went out, sat still throughout and loved it. She sat through several wedding services without making any noise or getting up in the year preceeding this, so I was fairly sure I could manage it.

Dd2 first went to a pantomime at 2 months, I thought she would sleep through it, but she was absolutely fascinated by the lights and just sat and watched it. Generally she was a very lively child, not still and quiet for long, but always loved the theatre so had gone a few times before she was 2yo and never was a problem.

Ds first went to see Noddy when he was about 2yo, and sat on my knee enraptured throughout. (beginnings of an ear infection might have helped though) However he didn't sit very well for other things. For the pantomimes the girls were in, until last year (age 3.7) I would take him to the first half only because that was the limit on how long he'd sit still for.

When I've taken them at a young age, I've always made sure we had seats by the exit so I could get out quickly without disturbing anyone though.

hackmum · 28/11/2011 09:48

It's daft taking a two year old to the ballet, or indeed to any theatrical experience. A few years I took my DD to the pantomime, and unfortunately there was another woman there with three kids, the youngest of whom screamed in terror every time King Rat came on. I did feel incredibly sorry for her (the mum) as she clearly didn't want to take all three kids out and ruin it for the older two. But two year olds just can't sit still for that length of time - I'd make a possible exception for a kids' film, such as Toy Story.

CrunchyFrog · 28/11/2011 09:54

milly I'm being lighthearted. By "force" I mean, they sat through rehearsals and performances etc. from a young age -a safer learning space for them, as no fear of upsetting paying customers. They have all also been to the cinema from an early age, and again, no worries with behaviour.

They all three love the theatre, any kind of music, dance - I take them because it is an enjoyable experience for all of us. In order for it to be enjoyable, they have to behave in a certain way, just as they do in other areas of life.

Because they are used to this kind of thing, they know the expectations and behave accordingly.

I have seen 8+ year olds behave appallingly in theatres. Because they don't understand how to sit, listen actively etc. Audience skills are something that have to be taught, like any other life skill. I just choose to do that from the beginning, because it is something so important to me and my family.

(another example - I choose to take my three on long (12 hr +) train journeys rather than flying, as it's a fun experience for us all. I know other parents who react with horror, but we have a good time. And yes, I would kill them a lot if they misbehaved on the train - but that's not why they behave.)

porcamiseria · 28/11/2011 09:59

yanbu, wait until child is older to do this stuff

people are very inconsiderate

Strawberrytallcake · 28/11/2011 10:15

I would have taken my dd when she was 2 to see The Nutcracker and that ballet only but at the afternoon show so that she wasn't cranky. We couldn't make it last year but are going this year and she is just 3. She has sat through films and theatre and goes regularly so she knows what is expected of her and she really enjoys it. She will especially enjoy it as she has started ballet and is in awe of the dancing.

I think YANBU in this case because this family should have more respect for the other people who have come to watch and remove their child. Although I do think YABU to put all 2 year old's in the same bracket, some would be fine.

sweetsantababy · 28/11/2011 10:19

I wouldn't take my 2 year old. However what exactly did you want the mum to do or the usher?

monkeypuzzeltree · 28/11/2011 10:28

YANBU, My nearly 2 year old wouldn't last a film, let alone a ballet, in fact I'm not sure I'd even take DH, he would struggle to sit still for that long too

crashdoll · 28/11/2011 10:33

YANBU and 2 is far too young for a ballet. I remember being taken aged 6 with my grandma and cousins as a special treat. I got told off for eating crisps too loudly and kept asking when the singing and talking was going to start. We sat outside in the second half in the bar while my older cousins enjoyed the ballet. I took up ballet as a teenager and begged my grandma to take me back but she refused until I was 18!

HipHopOpotomus · 28/11/2011 10:36

well on one hand I agree it must have been torture for the 2YO to sit though the ballet for 2 hours.

On the other hand, surely it was a matinee you went to and packed with young kiddies and their Mums. So a certain level of noise etc is to be expected.

DD1 would love to go but I will have to take DD2 (7months) along too if I did.

QuintessentialMercury · 28/11/2011 10:36

CrunchyFrog, I think your tiny goblin would be more than pleased to "miss out" on being forced to endure such performances with you.

OP, Yanbu.

Going to the theatre or ballet, is not a necessity, and if your child cant sit through, you either remove yourself and said disturbance from the show, or dont go in the first place. If you can afford the theatre, I am sure you can afford babysitters, if you want to.

CrunchyFrog · 28/11/2011 11:09

quintessential just goes to show that you don't know him!

QuintessentialMercury · 28/11/2011 11:10

What a stupid thing to say!

knockkneedandknackered · 28/11/2011 11:16

thats alot to pay for a ticket id be pretty pissed maybe the child should have been strapped to the chair and gagged

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