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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I had every right to ask her to put her phone away?

52 replies

lurcherlover · 27/11/2011 20:35

My best friend and I went to see Breaking Dawn last night (please don't judge me on the film choice...). From the outset, the woman sitting immediately in front of me had her phone out every five minutes - I'm not exaggerating - and was texting away. She had it on silent, but it was obviously lit up and it was really, really distracting. About an hour into the film I could take it no more and leaned forward and said "excuse me, can you please put your phone away?" She did, and that was the end of it - or so I thought. As we were walking out at the end she came up to me and said "the reason I had my phone out is I was texting my babysitter as I was worried about my little boy, and you had no right to make me feel bad about that and intimidate me."I retorted that she had no right to ruin a film other people had paid money to see by having her phone out all the way through, and that if she was so worried about her DS she should have either stayed home or gone to an activity where it's acceptable to use your phone. She told me I had been really rude and stormed off. Had I been unreasonable?

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/11/2011 22:00

Thebigkahuna - did you say anything?

thebigkahuna · 27/11/2011 22:18

SDTG, to the foot wafter? No, just moved seats I think. Didn't want to tangle with that much of a reprobate, tbh!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 27/11/2011 22:21

YANBU (except about the film choice). I think every cinema near us asks people to turn off their mobiles so they don't spoil the film for everyone else.

People have paid good money to watch the film, if she wants to pay a lot of money to sit in the dark texting then thats her own stupid fault business but when she is spoiling the bad film for everyone else that's another thing entirely.

It doesn't matter if the sound is off if lights are flashing and she's fidgeting about pressing buttons and distracting everyone.

I once left a date in the cinema because he refused to turn his phone off and kept getting calls (which he answered!) from his mates. He was annoying the people around us but he thought it was funny. I thought if he really was that inconsiderate and rude he wasn't someone I wanted to see again. So I told him I was going to the toilet and just drove home instead.

If she did have a child and a babysitter she was worried about she should have sat at the back by the door and gone out to answer any texts. If something at home was bad enough for the babysitter to send lots of texts she'd have been better just ringing her from the entrance foyer and dealing with it all in a proper conversation.

KateMiddIeton · 27/11/2011 22:26

yanbu. Stupid woman.

ChameleonCircuit · 27/11/2011 22:28

YANBU. I've done as you have before now. I'm also thinking that the text mad woman is actually TheDetective (suspicious...moi?)

StealthPenguin · 28/11/2011 05:34

YANBU.

I used to work as an Usher in a cinema and the shit I used to put up with was immense. At one point I had the pleasure of was told to forcibly remove some rowdy ten-year-olds in a Harry Potter film. Apparently the last straw for people was when they started chucking coins at one another and screaming "Ow, that was my eye, you cunt!".

I'd never been so happy to do my job before

runningwilde · 28/11/2011 06:33

Yanbu - she was being a rude cow. You get so many twats at the cinema sometimes, the people who constantly talk, the sweet chompers, the texters. Arghh!

ZonkedOut · 28/11/2011 07:00

YANBU and if there really was a babysitter, I bet he/she would thank you if they could for giving them some peace to just get on with it!

Esta3GG · 28/11/2011 07:12

I am old enough (40s) to remember a blissful time before bastard mobile phones dominated the earth. In the good old days if there was a problem the babysitter would either weather the storm (a trip to the pictures is usually only 2.5 hrs or so) or, if it was serious, would phone the cinema.
This obsession with being in touch ALL the time is insane.

Sparklingbrook · 28/11/2011 07:19

YANBU. But I hate going to the cinema for lots of reasons. Sitting watching a film with lots of strangers and their rude habits, all the trailers etc. And it's too loud for me, and too expensive for what it is.

Just wait a bit, get it on DVD and relax in the comfort of your own home and just your own family's rude habits.

Shutupanddrive · 28/11/2011 08:01

YANBU, I wouldn't have put up with it for an hour before asking either, just rude and inconsiderate

usualsuspect · 28/11/2011 08:08

YABU ,I would have been watching the film not the woman in front of me

I don't have a problem with mobile phone use though

bruffin · 28/11/2011 08:30

I don't have a problem with mobiles usualsuspect. But the light from a mobile phone is distracting whether it catches you from the corner of your eye or in front of you.

PopcornMouse · 28/11/2011 09:22

YANBU, I had the exact same thing (In BD also). She could have always left the theatre for a moment to make a proper call. Well done for speaking up!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 28/11/2011 09:27

Nothing would of distracted me from Jacob tbh

HeidiHole · 28/11/2011 09:29

Good for you for having the guts to say something! I'd have sat and seethed in silence! YANBU

mrsjay · 28/11/2011 09:33

Maybe she was updating her facebook every 5 seconds YANBU why cant people go to a film (even if it is twilight ) and enjoy it , what is there to text about in cinema , My dd went to see it on saturday and a crazed twihard asked her if she was going to be finished her drink before the film started because she cant be doing with slurping, Dd just slurped all the louder

BigBoobiedBertha · 28/11/2011 09:49

YANBU - I'd have asked her who was looking after the child whilst the babysitter was texting her backwards and forwards. Not much of a 'babysitter' was it?

MillyR · 28/11/2011 09:54

I have no idea why anybody would think YABU. I have never been in a cinema where people are allowed to have their phones switched on.

In these situations, I think it is best not to deal with the person directly. Find a member of the cinema staff and get them to deal with the person, then you don't have all the hassle of the person blaming you for the fact that they can't follow basic rules.

Catslikehats · 28/11/2011 09:56

I'm a bit at all the martyred "well if you are worried about your child you shouldn't be out" comments. None of you ever left your baby for the first or even tenth time and been reassured by constant updates that everything is in fact fine?

YANBU to have said something in the first instance.

YwereBVU to suggest that she had ruined the film for anyone.

nofrikkincarbs · 28/11/2011 10:04

YAB abit U in your attitude at her worrying about the baby, probably her 1st outing. I remember calling my mum every 15 mins from the pub the first time I left ds

Bogeyface · 28/11/2011 10:05

But Queen, given that she put the phone away without a murmur instead of saying "Sorry, i am keeping in touch with my babysitter", and waited until the end to have a go at the OP, its clear it was BS. She had obviously been seething and thought that up as an excuse to try and make OP feel bad! She was busted, and instead of sucking it up as she was in the wrong, she made herself look worse by trying to justify her behaviour.

I say this as someone who rang her mother every 15 minutes the first time I went out after DD4 was born (and all the others too probably, but thats just the most recent) :o

Bogeyface · 28/11/2011 10:07

X-posted NFC, not just me on 15 minute alert then! I was in a pub too and went outside to call.

OhdearNigel · 28/11/2011 10:08

Intimidating being asked not to text in the cinema ? Jeez, she must have led a sheltered life.

YWNBU

Catslikehats · 28/11/2011 10:16

bogeyface I disagree. I would interpret the fact that she put her phone away without a murmur as that she was embarassed and/or intimdated at being confronted.

If she really had no respect for anyone else she would have turned round and told the OP to "fuck off" as so many people do these days.

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