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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit undermined this morning?

20 replies

knittynoodle · 27/11/2011 13:43

Mum came over today to talk about my DS birthday party.

She was really stressing the point we wouldn't need quiche, or rice (even though Im doing chilli in a slow cooker) and seemed to think that jacket potatoes would be better. I said I think its easier to do one pot of rice than 30 jacket potatoes when I need the oven for snacky iceland crap like spring rolls and samosas. She looked at DH and they raised their eyebrows like Im crazy.

Anyway, then I said I was going to have a colouring in table for the older kids as I had an old colouring book in the bookshelf. DH barely looked, couldnt see it so he and mum agreed we could buy some more. When I said its right there! again there were raised eyebrows until I found it.

DS1 was playing on the floor and I said DH, why dont you show mum how he likes to stir the washing up (in the bowl we have in the play area with kitchen utensils in). DH said 'why would he need to learn to stir things?!'

And the final straw was when Mum looked at the sensory toy I had made from blue coloured water, oil and glitter and asked me if it was safe because it didnt look like a proper toy.

I questioned why no one had any faith in anything I was saying at the moment (Ive been ill with bronchitis) and they both said I was being petty.

Am i??? What a shitty morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
knittynoodle · 27/11/2011 13:47

I should add that as I was talking about the rice, my mum was actually over talking me to DH with things like 'Whats she doing rice for, people wont eat rice' and he was nodding.

OP posts:
bushymcbush · 27/11/2011 13:48

Sounds like they're ganging up on you a bit tbh.

Yanbu.

Aloha31 · 27/11/2011 13:48

You are not being U. Raising eyebrows about a grown eyebrow is disrespectful.

bushymcbush · 27/11/2011 13:49

And what's with your dh comment about stirring? Is he always a sexist wanker?

MrsMumf · 27/11/2011 13:50

As far as I am concerned you ANBU because of the talking over your head to your DH. Regardless of the topic of conversation I would feel upset if someone asked my hubby, in my hearing, why I was doing something.

bushymcbush · 27/11/2011 13:51

By the way, my 3yo dd would choose rice over jacket potato every day of the week.

Sparklyblue · 27/11/2011 13:53

That is really horrible and I would be really Angry especially with DH, he should be supporting you Sad
How ridiculous to say that nobody eats rice. Rice would be so much easier.

HandMini · 27/11/2011 13:54

Hmmm, hard to say. If your mum and DH are not usually like this, I'd let this wash over me to be honest, and just stop asking them questions/for their opinion. They're probably just having an arsey day. If this is typical, then YANBU, and you should pull them both up on it.

Original poster
knittynoodle · 27/11/2011 13:54

I wouldnt even be doing hot food except that DH has about a million family members and his MIL/FIL have asked about hot food.

I just cant imagine filling my oven with jacket potatoes for 2 hours (or microwaving them in batches and then putting them in the oven) would be easier than one pot of rice when I have other stuff to cook! And after that, it seemed everything I said was fair game to be ridiculed.

OP posts:
Aloha31 · 27/11/2011 13:55

Grown adult! Not eyebrow! Blush

Agree with bushy, they're ganging up on you.

DaisySteiner · 27/11/2011 14:07

YANBU. My mum does things like this - asks me dubiously whether I'm sure a particular dish is OK to go in the oven. When I say yes, she then goes and double-checks with my dh FFS! Angry (who wouldn't have a clue!)

StealthPolarBear · 27/11/2011 14:14

bloody hell are they normally like this?

Psammead · 27/11/2011 14:19

Do what the hell you like. Cook what you like. If they object, let them cook it.

Bloody hell.

Am annoyed in your behalf.

Gigondas · 27/11/2011 14:40

I would be annoyed too- and completely agree that rice easier (and nicer). Has your mum always been like this?

Plus not sure what age kids are but colouring in tables always go down well when I have seen them at parties.

ChitChattingElf · 27/11/2011 15:01

Tell your DH he can do all the bloody preparations on his own if he ever pulls a stunt like that again! Angry for you.

Crabapple99 · 27/11/2011 15:05

this behaviour is horruble, and what makes it worse is they have manouvered you into a position where you cannot even be sure if you are being nullied or not, so let me spell it out to you, YOU ARE.

TheOriginalFAB · 27/11/2011 15:06

I wouldn't do rice. Or potatoes. Or anything. Clearly they know best.

At first I read as another child's mum was in cohoots with your not so D H.

SnapesMistress · 27/11/2011 16:11

I would have thrown a paddy and told them that they can do it if they know best. Thats just me being a mardy buggar though.

Original poster
knittynoodle · 27/11/2011 18:22

She is normally like this. When I first got ill I made some soup for the family. She called and I said I'd made soup. She said, you mean you HEATED soup.

No. I MADE soup. From ingredients. I mean what I said. Angry

DH just want's as cheap a party as possible with as little wastage as possible. He doesn't even want hot food at all. I might can the idea.

OP posts:
nerfmum · 27/11/2011 18:31

Ask your mum to do potatoes in HER oven and bring them round! It will be a help and she will then be busy and out of your hair while you decorate and sort out the colouring table (great idea).
Sensory toy sounds lovely.
'why would he need to learn to stir' WTF what a totally stupid thing to say, get your DH to make a cup of tea and....STIR IT!!

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