AIBU to think Dh cant look after my poorly boy as well as me?

[CoffeeDog]

My little man (3) has had surgery and is in hosital in London (about 2hr by train for us) i have been with him for 3 days and we have swopped as i was exhauseted last night - as wee man isnt sleeping very well........+ we have 2 more kids at home who miss me ;)
I want to go up again tonight and 'swop over' but he seems to think that IABU and that he is perfectley capable of taking care of him.... and has said he will be very cross if i turn up anyway, i was shattered last night but am much better after a goods night sleep.
Little man is very poorly and while i know his daddy will take care of him is it unreasonable to go anyway (the other kids are both fine with mum or dad)
He has said i can go up again tomorrow morning but dosnt want to see me before.....

Right and duty.

Gosh I am assuming everyone will be this logical and right thinking if their children become severely ill.

It depends on your DH. I know my husband cant look after your dds when sick as well as I do because he forgets things, panics, doesnt do what he should ect. ITs not to say I wouldnt leave them with him when they are sick though.
However, when DD2 was in hospital for a week at 16 months, I didnt even consider that I would leave and he would stay, BUT when i was in hospital for 3 weeks, when dd2 was only 3 weeks old, I had no choice but to send dd home with him. So managed very well, everything was done and he was wonderful.

I think your DH is trying to help you, give you a good break, give you time with the other children and I think if the shoe was on the other foot, I would be deeply hurt if OH turned up because he didnt think I could do it.

Mrsdevere - I understand what your saying but sometimes you do need someone detached to point out the logic that is impossible when you are in that situation.

When Ds was in hdu I didn't want to leave the room let alone go home for a rest. It took one of the nurses basically kicking me off the ward explaining that Ds needed me to be well rested etc before I left. Even then I felt like the worst Mother ever for going (even though his nan was with him an he had no idea anyway) in hindsight I am pleased the nurse made me see sense and get rest. I wouldn't have coped at all otherwise

I know sirzy which is why I have tried to gently point out to the OP that she is being UR

I dislike the tone of some of the posts who are ignoring the fact that this woman is probably out of her mind with worry atm.

This isnt a 'men are crap' thread. Anyone who wants to can see that. Some people perhaps dont want to though.

I should step away I think.

waits for CoffeeDog's post of "my dp does nothing with the children"

YABU

CoffeeDog - I know exactly how you feel. That mummy/child pull is so intense it almost blinds you from any reasoning in situations like this.

My DS2 has had several spells in hospital and I although I know my DP is very capable to be there at night, I just could not stay home.

I had to be there. I can recall spending 1 afternoon at home with DS1. I was frantic mess, phoning DP, checking for texts. I wasn't concentrating on DS1 at all. My brain felt like it was almost over-heating.

I never did 'let' DP spend the nights at the hospital. I have always done that. Though I did have to learn to calm down and spend time at home in the day with DS1 that was productive and not me being a total stress head making it worse.

But if your little one is to have regular hospital stays then I think you need to try to share with DP for everyone's sake. But don't get yourself upset over this - you have enough to deal with.

I hope your little one is doing well and makes a very swift recovery.

Op, I know how your feeling, of course you want to be there every minute, but your husband probably feels the same. When my ds was in hospital my DH stayed with him during the night I went back to the other dcs who were worried and also needed us. It was right for us as my DH is very calm and he was better in the night when our ds started bleeding heavily (but not in any danger, just distressing to see) I would have panicked and that wouldn't have been good for our ds.

I hope your ds gets better soon.