to cancel my friend today?

[Mmmdoughnuts]

Friend lives 2 hours away from us, she was at a party half an hour way from us last night.

She asked on Thursday whether we'd like to go out for lunch today, I declined lunch, but said if they wanted to come round here for a cup of tea they were welcome to. She said that they'd come over for a cup of a tea.

Yesterday she sent me a text saying that they'd be here about 12 and would have to head off at 1.30.

Now that to me is lunch time in anyone's book, so I presume she is expecting me to provide lunch.

Now we've all come down with colds, and are all groggy, the house is an absolute tip and we've got no energy, I have no food in the house, bread/ham/cheese so can't offer a sandwich even, and can't face going to the supermarket.

AIBU to contact her now, and say today is off?

I think that is probably reasonable if you explain the situation and can perhaps arrange a time to meet for lunch somewhere in her direction in the next while. She probably feels pretty hung over and will be happy just to head straight home anyway. Hope you all feel better soon.

Call her to ask if she could she pick up something simple for lunch on her way (soup and bread ?) if they'd like to stay for more than a cup of tea.

She probably has hangover and will be glad to just go straight home anyway, just text her.

Did you cancel?

No I tried to - I sent a text cancelling, she came back with asking if I was joking, I said no, she said oh she was really disappointed but if I didn't want to she understood. I sent one back saying I was sorry she was disappointed, but just didn't feel great.

She phoned me, wore me down , I said yes, am now shattered, and going to send dh out with the kids and have an afternoon nap.

I know the situation is now resolved, but ...

How good a friend is this, and how often do you see her?

And why did you 'decline' lunch with her when making the original plan?

Just curious, because it sounds like you don't care much whether you see her or not - which is perfectly ok if true (not judging, btw).

She's my oldest and closest friend.

We see each other about every 4 weeks, and we are seeing each other in two weeks time which was already arranged, and I saw her two weeks ago. So this was a bonus visit as she was in the area.

And the reason I declined lunch was due to it being the end of the month and Christmas spending time, so didn't have spare funds for lunch. But was honest with her, and told her this was the reason for not going out for lunch. Also she and her partner are foodies, and I would have had to do a full spread for them, so hence why I specifically told her for cup of tea. I know you have to be specific with her.