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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peed off with DH's balls up of haggling our car sale

25 replies

normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 09:07

Car for sale £1800, man calls because he viewed it yesterday and wants it.
Man: "Will you take less?"
DH "Yeah we can negotiate"
Man "How much do you want?"
DH "How about £1400?" (we'd agreed we'd go lower but I'm just astounded that DH said this!)
Man "I was thinking £1300"
DH "OK"
And he came off the phone looking really chuffed with himself.
I was livid... Not necessarily with the price as we needed to get rid, but the astonishingly naive haggling skills....
Now he's an amazing, and (clearly) quite innocent, straightforward guy. He's an incredible Dad, and one of the things I love about him is his lack of interest in material things. But I feel like in that exchange he basically offered a guy we don't know £400... And then gave him £500.

I kind of know I need to get a grip, as it's done now. He's really upset that I'm annoyed with him, which makes it even worse!

And I just read the AIBU thread about the woman whose DP gave her herpes and know this isn't that important in the scheme of things because his intentions were good, but..... Gah!

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 27/11/2011 09:10

YANBU, but, I am a hopeless haggler.
DH left me to sell his car which was a real dog.
It was advertised for £300, I kept telling the man to make me an offer.
We eventually settled for £180.

rookiemater · 27/11/2011 09:10

Just ring the guy back and tell him its £1300, don't know why you are annoyed at least DH asked for the discount.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 27/11/2011 09:10

I should clarify, he didn't leave me leave me, he moved to Essex while I stayed on to work out my notice.

Catsmamma · 27/11/2011 09:12

Some people are rubbish at haggling! You should have made it quite clear how low you were prepared to go and not a penny less then maybe he would have not been so generous.

The car is gone, and you have the money, draw a line and tease him mercilessly for the rest of his days!

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 09:18

Thanks, even writing it here has got it out of my system a bit.

Kreecher, he's clearly in your camp as far as haggling is concerned!

Cats, yup, drawing a line as we speak, as it can't be changed. And you're totally right, part of my annoyance is at myself as I know that a quick conversation beforehand would have made a difference...

OP posts:
lottiegb · 27/11/2011 09:23

YANBU, that's truly hopeless. Everyone knows you each name your starting price then work towards a point in the middle, which doesn't have to be right in the middle, as it depends on what the seller is willing to accept and how much the buyer is trying it on.

So, you should have got about £1600 for this (man might not have gone as low as £1300 to start with if your husband hadn't said £1400). I would also feel that he has handed this man about £300.

I think you need to explain haggling as a game with rules, so your husband sees he didn't play by the rules and needs to learn them, rather than feeling he was personally hopeless or overcome by a stonger buyer. One rule is always assume the buyer is more experienced and wilier than you and will try to take advantage. They will impress upon you how convenient it is for you that they can take the goods immediately, or even say 'I'm a businessman, I always have to try for the best price' as if it's your duty to comply, whereas the concommitant of this is 'that's ok I'm a gullible fool who likes giving things away'!

ChristinedePizanne · 27/11/2011 09:48

Never go on holiday to Asia, Africa or South America :o

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 09:53

Yeah Lottie, I thought everyone knew the rules! Just shows he can still surprise me...

You're right, I didn't expect £1800, but at least (competent) haggling gets you the best deal for the situation.

OP posts:
Panzee · 27/11/2011 09:56

I hate haggling and can't do it. As far as I'm concerned the price you state is the price you want. :)

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 09:58

Christine, I know! He travelled alot before we met, and I can only assume that he was royally ripped off, but blissfully unaware...

Believe it or not he's a professional sales person too!

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 27/11/2011 10:14

OP you have my deepest sympathies. When we wanted to make an offer on our house DP called the agents and said "we'd like to offer £xx. We know it'll be turned down, but you have to play the game, right?"

WTF? No! You pretend it's your best offer, that you've scrimped and saved, that you couldnt possibly go higher! When the agent called back I answered his phone. She said "ah, hello ATruth, we didn't think you'd let him talk to us again. So, what's your real offer?"

Men...!

ElizabethPonsonby · 27/11/2011 10:58

Has he not seen the haggling scene in The Life of Brian? Shock

Everything you need to know...

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 11:37

ATruth, relieved to know it's not just me then Smile That must have been excruciating...

And there am I switching energy suppliers, shopping around for insurance, ebaying stuff, only buying petrol in specific places...

I have decided I need to look at this as a karma-type thing, a situation sent so I can learn a lesson about my expectations of DH/ how I handle people making well-meaning mistakes/ never assuming that other people think the same way as me...

... And breathe. Also he has been talking about setting up his own business, and I've been mulling over how I feel about that.

This is a loud, clear sign to me that I should steer him away from that option!

OP posts:
Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 11:39

Elizabeth, Life of Brian could teach us all a lot Grin

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1Catherine1 · 27/11/2011 11:45

At least he sorta gets the concept. My OH doesn't and it is kinda frustrating.

We went to get a second hand dishwasher that was advertised for £50. We got there and I asked the woman if she'd take £30. He walked off in disgust and embarrassment muttering something about how he doesn't do such things. To which the woman we were dealing with asked what was wrong. He explained that they don't do that sort of thing in Spain and the price is the price. Hmm Seriously, why couldn't he have just stood there and said nothing! Still only paid £35 but still...

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 11:52

That's hilarious Catherine! At least in my situation he'd have been disgusted by the buyer trying to haggle and stood by his original price.

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 27/11/2011 12:21

They do learn normal. He let me do the rest of the negotiating over the house and then when we came to sell our cars said "I'll let you negotiate shall I?"

I refused to as I didn't want to be responsible for every sale and purchase we ever make and to be fair he managed to get good prices on both of our cars by remembering the evils I had given him after the estate agent debacle and following my dad's advice: "Just stay quiet. Make your offer or state your price then shut up. Don't be the first to budge. No. Zppp. Shhh. Wait."

FabbyChic · 27/11/2011 12:30

For fuck sake you only ever take off £100 off the asking price your DH is a dick.

LadyLapsang · 27/11/2011 12:31

YABU - next time do it yourself if you think you can do any better. I remember once when I was selling my car, I had just accepted an offer when another guy turned up and offered more, I explained I had agreed the offer with the first person and that was that. Lots of people thought I should have let the two prospective buyers haggle it out even though I had accepted the first offer. Same goes for selling houses, let them have the curtains etc. - really life is too short for haggling for days and having lots of extra stress and people threatening to pull out of a house sale over a few metres of fabric.

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 12:43

I know it's perverse, but LadyLapsang and Fabby, I agree with you both!

Atruth, I also don't want to be entirely responsible so will get him to try again in future. Under close supervision Grin

The man just came to fetch the car, he was a sweet young Aussie, just broken up with his girlfriend, about to head off round Europe. So not feeling too bitter as he'll appreciate the deal. Yes, I'm trying to justify it to myself and it's almost working.

OP posts:
ShellyBoobs · 27/11/2011 13:02

Just ring the guy back and tell him its £1300, don't know why you are annoyed at least DH asked for the discount.

rookiemater, you've got completely the wrong end of the stick. Grin

OP, your DH's first error was to offer another price, himself. If the buyer wanted to negotiate, your DH should have asked him to make an offer, not immediately have knocked a huge chunk off! Shock

That way the buyer would have probably not had the cheek to go so low and would have been inclined to go in at maybe £1500, at which point DH says he can't sell for that, offers sale at £1700 and they end up £1600 maybe.

The trick for the seller is to make the buyer work to lower the price, not to put yourself in the position of trying to get the price back up. Otherwise the price is only ever going to go one way...

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 13:19

Shelly, I know that, and I thought it was a basic life skill, but unfortunately my DH seems to have missed that lesson.

It had never occurred to me before, but I've done any serious haggling we've needed in the past, with houses, previous cars etc.

I'm working on getting him asking car mechanics the price before the job is done, and I feel like it's getting somewhere... So haggling is clearly the next project.

Makes him sound like an utter dolt, and he really isn't, he just has a massive blind spot for stuff like this.

OP posts:
ShellyBoobs · 27/11/2011 13:22

Shelly, I know that...

Sorry, it's not you that doesn't understand the 'rules', is it. Blush

VFVF · 27/11/2011 13:27

OP My husband is exactly the same! He has lost us god knows how much money in the past, once even offering above the asking price for a second hand car!!

Now we have 'the conversation' before we go to make any purchases -
Me Right, you know what to do?
DP Yes - Shut the fuck up
Me Thats right. And if they direct any questions your way?
DP Keep shutting the fuck up?
Me perfect, well done!

Original poster
normalshmormal · 27/11/2011 15:09

VFVF, I love that he offered offered more than the asking price!

I suspect I'll be having a few of those conversations myself in future.

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