To tear strips off local hospital obstetric dept

[shakemyhead]

We lost our baby beginning of oct. Appointment for 20 scan crossed in post - could understand that. Midwife assured us it would be cancelled. Thismorning got another app through for next week. Must have been that I didn't turn up on the 22nd - silly me.

Obviously distressing don't really want it rubbing in. Next time you see stats for missed app's don't believe the hype.

Someone is gonna get it.

No YANBU, and sorry for your loss
Yes, you should make it known how this entirely avoidable bit of post made you feel.

YANBU. Sadly this is a very common problem and it is just horrible if you're on the receiving end. I have some experience of this sort of bureaucratic insensitivity and it is sadly so common we're left thinking "so does everyone else think this is acceptable then?". I don't think it is remotely acceptable. It is one of the things the mumsnet campaign on miscarriage and pregnancy loss is focusing on changing. So you are certainly not alone in how you are feeling, if that is of any comfort whatsoever.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

when I lost my prem dd at 3 weeks and called NCT to cancel they were very understanding and offered condolences. then just before the antenatal class was scheduled i got a call asking if i am coming. "well, no, because blah-blah-blah..." "oh, we are so sorry, we will take you off the list" another two months later i get an email that informs me they have enrolled me into a breastfeeding class.

I lost the plot, emailed back to tell them to stay away from me or else. needless to say, i will not be going back for anything from them if i am ever blessed to have my own child. wankers

Not acceptable.

Let them know and do so officially via PALS but you will get further if you aren't openly aggressive.

No, YANBU. Complain, if can stand to. And loudly.
Sorry for your loss.x

Yanbu.

So sorry for the loss of your baby.

There should be a mail suppression system in place. Contact the unit or PALS.

Thanks for the understanding. I will contact PALS. Good job appointments office is shut til Monday. I thought the letter may have been inviting us for results.

I think it is a terrible waste of resources if nothing else.

Yanbu. Happened to me, so horrid

So sorry for your loss

Ah I'm so sorry to hear about your wee baby....it's like a knife in your heart every time you get one of these 'reminders' of things you should be still going to but sadly aren't. It's so hard to restrain yourself and not shriek down the phone at the bloody incompetence of the 'system'.

It wouldn't do any harm to make a complaint when you feel ready...write or phone, it just might change things.

so sorry for your loss.

a bit of shrieking down the phone may remind them that people are human and they are insensitive incompetant idiots who have just kicked someone when they are down.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP :( Just try, if you can, to think of it as faceless bureaucratic bullshit rather than anything personal, or even with a person behind it anywhere. Once your name and info goes into the system, it tends to get ploughed on through and nobody ever seems to be able to do anything about it when things don't follow the ordained path and tick all their boxes...

Looks like i sorted it. Too upset to kick off - explaining backstory to appointment person - not a happy place.
Got to speak to coordinating midwife re pm and blood results given a date to phone back if not heard anything. Consultants secretary on holiday.
Bit of a waiting game now. Bf wanted to try again after results. Will post again on other thread when we know more.

Looks like i sorted it. Too upset to kick off - explaining backstory to appointment person - not a happy place.
Got to speak to coordinating midwife re pm and blood results given a date to phone back if not heard anything. Consultants secretary on holiday.
Bit of a waiting game now. Bf wanted to try again after results. Will post again on other thread when we know more.