To Hope This Effing Badger Gets A Really BAD Tummy Ache.

[redward]

A few days ago, I planted a whole load of tulips. This morning, it was a bomb site: all churned up, with tulip-bulb husks everywhere. A badger done it (occasionally they even sniff at the kitchen door - sounds like a bronchitic pig!) - the paw-prints are sufficient to secure a conviction in any court!

Tulips are poisonous for people (I think); I certainly don't want the guilty ba star dger to die, but sure as hell hope he has a rotten tummy ache for a few days! (Bound to be a boy badger, isn't it? Girl badgers wouldn't thieve tulips, would they?)

YABU for not having a photo of the badger in action!

I have only ever seen dead ones by the roadside and would love to see a live one, even if it was doing your gardening!

Foxes churned up my bulbs but they weren't even after the bulbs. Apparently they see the turned earth as an earthworm free-for-all.
The scattered the bulbs across the lawn. I replanted them so many times, eventually had to put wire plantars over the top.

little ginger bastards

They had all my crocus bulbs earlier in the year the devils. But the baby ones are cute when they gambol all over the lawn

Sorry about your tulips but I'm jealous you got to see a badger. I love them, they're so scrabbly :)

Best thread title in ages btw!

and scrabbly is definitely the best new word in ages!! Can't wait to use it!!

Yay! :) I don't know if you know the (modern, I guess) nursery rhyme "a hedgehog is very prickly", but we added the verse "a badger is very scrabbly" to the end.

I wish a badger would trundle into my garden. Bloody love them

They are gigantic though. The only time I've been up close to a badger was seeing one knocked over and convincing DH to borrow a wheelbarrow from some random people who had one outside their house and pushing it home to bury it.
We were both very very drunk and regretted it when he had to dig a hole the size of a 10 year old child to dispose of Brock.

Wow! A badger? Really? I've only seen a dead one by the road side.

How cool is that to have your own wild badger in the garden?

I'd have the Naturewatch round filming it!

love the thread title redward

yanbu to wish pain on the badger in question but yab(slightly)u for not having photographic evidence for us to enjoy.

my dog has eaten my young cherry tree if it's any consolation - a whole bloody tree.

Ah - it's badgers is it? All my bulbs have been dug up and eaten and I wondered who had done that - in between going red in the face, steaming from the ears and issuing a stream of cursing that would make a sailor blush!
Makes sense - I've seen a badger out front of the house before now but I didn't know they ate bulbs!

can i ask a dumbies question? when do you plant bulbs? am i too late now?

whenever they appear suits me. my garden is a bit of surprise provider - as i clear it and dig beds things that have been long dormant and buried come back to life. this year i discovered a load of what i think are called day lillies and a strange holly like bush that has self seeded.

garden is heaving with bluebell bulbs but i really fancy some tulips.