birthday presents - help me decide

[cantfindamnnickname]

I have 3 ds and I have a SIL and a BIL - my oldest DS has just turned 11, BIL and SIL have sometimes remembered to buy presents/cards and sometimes dont bother.

Not sure why but this year neither of them have bought any of my children a present or a card. Last year I think they bought 1 of them a present.

I know presents arent important but I expect them to at least acknowledge their nephews birthdays. As a family they dont give much emphasis on birthdays but even so.

My SIL has had her first child this year - What do I do

a. Take the higher moral ground and buy a card and a present (as I do for all my friends)
b. Not bother and if anything is said - I didnt think we do birthdays as you dont normally bother with my children

DH is annoyed by the lack of interest but he wouldnt say anything because he cant be bothered with the argument.

SIL lives in another Country but I would still send present as I did when dd was born.

If you want to buy a present then do. Don't let someone else's behaviour impact on your own.

TBH I wouldnt bother - but I wouldnt expect to receive from abroad either due to prohibitive postage costs. Cards yes. Prezzies, no.

Hmm. Well. Personally, I wouldn't send anything, and if it's mentioned, say 'I assumed we had stopped buying for each other's children?'

But I am quite petty. The nice thing to do would be to carry on and do what you would've done before, as you don't give to receive.

I don't know. DH has 4 neices and nephews and 3 brothers, it can be quite hard to keep up with.

We have 3 DS's - surely not that hard to remember - dont get me wrong I dont expect a present but i expect a card or a phone call to DS to say happy birthday.

If they have decided not to do birthdays then fine - but they might remember the eldest but I dont think either of them have bothered to send my youngest who is 4 a card or a present ever.

Do what I decided I would do with my bil who usually sometimes forgets. I have 3 dc, when he had his then I decided I usually spend around £15 on a dn present on the other cousins, so I get a present roughly £5 per one remembered. Funnily enough when this got mentioned to him he suddenly turned up with 2 presents about a month or so late, despite previously having said that there was no point giving late presents.

It may sound petty, but dh gave him presents for about 3 years before he commented on the lack of receiving any and bil said "oh I've decided to stop giving my db/dsis presents" . Very rude to keep accepting presents in that case, without mentioning it.