to be fed up?

[MrsHuxtable]

I've not been having a good year. Since falling pregnant in May things have been difficult.
It started off with severe Hyperemesis which resulted in me having to drop out of my OU course. My boss then started to be an utter dick about my pregnancy which, combined with the sickness, has lead to me not having been back at work since then. I've beed stuck in the house sine JUNE with noone to talk to as all my social contacts were with work friends but that is all awkward now with me not having been there for such a long time.
I then had a few scares in relation to my blood pressure, there have been problems with our student neighbours and the landlord (we're moving now so no longer an issue but it was bad), more stress with my boss, my toxic mother made my life hell for 2 weeks with a visit, my beloved cat died in dramatic style and now, to top it all off, my 28 week blood results have come back with a dodgy reading for glucose and I need to go to hospital on Monday for a GTT as they are suspecting GD.

I feel like I have nothing left. It has been one thing after the next with no positives inbetween.

I've just come off the phone to my mum who told me IABU for feeling angry and upset. Apparently I'm just being negative but to be honest, I don't feel like having a party and being cheerful when I'm worried what Monday's test results will bring.

AIBU for having had enough? Surely there must be a limit for how many things can go wrong for any given person a year?

Don't talk to your mother when needing support, she'll never give it to you.

Let's make some plans that you can look forward to. And make a list of nice things happening.

There's no limit, next year will be better though You have to get on with it sometimes. I reckon life's like the sea; it's easy to travel sometimes as the water's nice and calm, then the shlit hits the fan and the waves knock ten bells of shlit out of you. It'll calm down eventually and it'll make you a stronger person.

This all sounds like too much, no wonder you are fed up, your mum should be supporting you, not adding to the pressure. Is the baby's father areound? Is he supportive? You are in a very isolated and unhappy position, and you really need some good friends. is there anyone really nice among your work friends you could get back in contact with? Thay might not realise how isolated you are,and maybe don't want to get in touch as they might think you don't want reminding of work.

You poor thing. Even a fairly straightforward pregnancy is not unmitigated joy, but you'be had a hell of a lot to cope with. It's a shame your mum can't just listen to you vent - some people aren't very good at that - they have to try and point out the bright side.

That's where MN comes in ...

I can fully understand why you are fed up. You do have a choice about staying that way though. You can choose to dwell on all that's been thrown at you. A lot, maybe too much, but there is no limit on shit. You only have control over how you deal with it, not how much you get.

Some people would desperatley love to be in your shoes. Just take a look at the conception board. I know it is easy to say focus on the positives, but when life is getting you down, that is all you can do.

Hope things take and turn for the better. Good luck for Monday [hugs]

YANBU for being angry and upset!

If your mum wants you to pretend to be cheerful for her it's just an indication of the state of the relationship you have.

Usually when things go wrong they come in ones or twos and you can deal with them and balance them out with all the good stuff, but to have one thing after another for so long is bound to take its toll on you.

Try not to worry about Monday, if anything is wrong then cross that bridge if it comes to it.

At least you'll be in the right place if they keep you in, even if you will have to suffer stodgy cold food every day

I have read your other threads op. how is you lovely partner and did you send the money back?

Yes, I'm married to the baby's dad and he's being great. I still get moody with him though, which then leads to arguments but I'm a worrier, I can't help it.

My boss and his wife have been openly hostile to me and I was told that they talk badly about me in front of everyone, so I'm really worried that my work friends are scared to associate with me. Maybe I should write a mail to a couple of them.

I know I should be grateful for falling pregnant easily and staying that way. I am actually. It's just very hard to remind myself of that. We have 6 other couples in our NCT class and they just seem to sail through their pregnancies. I feel like a failure.
I know it won't be the end of the world if it turns out I really do have GD but I'm scared of what it'll mean for the birth and my baby. I'm only just 5ft2 and petite and seeing myself trying to birth a 10pound baby.

I'm already quite damaged emotionally and I'm scared I won't be able to bond with the baby. She is really wanted though.

You know what? I actually can see how my mum's reaction fits in with her selfishness. Instead of admitting that I'm having a crap time and telling me that things will get better, she just kept attacking me. Apparently it's somehow my fault I keep being drawn into these complications...

Posies DH is being great, I wouldn't want to be married to me at the moment. We ended up keeping the money and will spend it on the nursery. I never phoned my mum after what happened. She contacted me last week, only to make me feel bad about my granny who apparently is developing dementia and keeps looking for me. She insists on making breakfast for me in the morning and is convinced I'm there visiting her. I can't do anything about it at the moment apart from feel guilty I can't be there for her. The next time my mum phoned me was today.

I think hypremesis alone is enough to cope with so I actually think you are doing very well even if it doesn't feel like it. You should join the hypremesis thread on here and get some information on it that you could email to your boss and your mum. Their behaviour is shocking and born of ignorance. Unfortunately people need to be taught how utterly serious and debilitating hypremesis is. Actually ask your dh to send these emails, maybe your obstetrician would write a well-worded letter to shut them up as you need support.

As to the GD it is so unbelievably common and as long as it is monitored it is totally manageable. It will very likely disappear when the pregnancy is over. And the second the baby is out the hypremesis should disappear to so that is two very big things to look forward to (though I am sure it feels a lifetime away).

My best advice is to find some support for your conditions from forums etc. I am sorry you have so much to deal with but I promise it will get better especially the hypremesis.

Oh and by the way one of the reasons they monitor you is to keep an eye on baby's size but as long as it is managed there is no reason for the gd to get out of control and cause a large baby. And when you are not feeling so physically rough your mental health will get stronger too so don't worry about bonding with the baby. It is hard to imagine bonding when a pregnancy is so tough. Been there I promise you

The way your mum chooses to behave is not your fault, and you're not a failure you're a success!

You've recognised the damage she's done to you and have tried to resolve some of it with her.

You're worried about bonding with your baby (which I'm sure you'll have no problems with ) if you didn't care you wouldn't give it a second thought.

And most importantly, you're trying to break the cycle and not pass your mums behaviour to your lovely (huge!) baby

Don't waste time on thinking about your mum, when you feel the thoughts creeping in force yourself to direct them onto your little baby.

Box your mum up in your mind and sort it another time when you can be arsed have less going on.

Your last line says it all. She should be able to listen and support - you deserve that from her. And being, and staying, aware of that as you bring up your own child will make you a good mum.

All of us are challenged by having a baby. It can bring up a lot of stuff - so if that does happen and you need help with it, then remember to ask for it

I have a feeling that you have good self awareness and this baby will be the,making of you. [Smile]