to want to lose a lot of weight even though my partner doesn't like the idea?

[LifeIsButtercream]

I'm morbidly obese.

There I said it - I weigh in the high 19st and yes, I feel horrible and HATE being this size. So I've joined a slimming programme - and I'm enjoying it and feeling really positive because I want to be healthy and a good mum.

However, my partner prefers women with a bit of meat on them ('real women' in his words) - he doesn't want me to be thinner than about 16-18st as he said I wouldn't really be in his 'league' - I wouldn't be as attractive to him. My ideal weight for my height is 'too skinny' in his mind - I would give anything to feel slim as I have always been big and to walk down the street feeling like everyone else rather than a huge balloon-woman would be the most amazing thing.

So, do I persist and lose weight until I am happy with myself and I am, above all, healthy, even though my partner isn't keen on me doing so? It's not easy doing this without support - and I feel like he thinks I'm doing this to 'spite' him, or he's just waiting for me to fail and go back to my old ways.

I love my partner, but I don't want to be this size.

Why don't you lose the first ttwo to three stone and see what he says then?

Even if he would find you less physically attractive, would that stop him loving you as a person? Doesn't he want the person he loves to be as healthy as possible? I can't be fun weighing that much, does he really want that for you?

He must have serious issues with himself if he doesn't want you to lose weight.

For your health and the future health of your daughter, you need to lose weight and set an example to her regarding eating habits. Even if she is too young to notice now, in the future she will notice and children learn by example. If you and your partner don't have healthy diets, you won't be able to convince her differently, especially with such an overt objection to fruit/veg and "all that muck" from your partner.

He sounds like a controlling twat tbh. You have to do this for yourself, and your kids. Yes you can do it by yourself, you are strong. So what if he leaves you as you are getting too slim, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You don't need someone like that.

*Clossaint why are you trying to be negative

no-one has a crystal ball.

If the it situation was reveresed and he wanted you to be super slim, than others on here would be saying leave him, leaving him, same thing here really!

OP- You need to do what is best for YOU and your health. I think he feels threatened by your plans. Fuck him. He should love you regardless. Is he overwieght.

I recently lost a lot of wieght by doing the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred dvd and eating healthy. It's fab. Check out the big/slim whatever threads. I feel much healthier. it took my mum's death from cancer to start caring about my bod.

Imagine if this was the other way round, and he was telling you you would be "out of his league" (i.e. inferior) if you were thin and put ON several stone.

Why are you with a man like this?

bit extreme to say he doesnt love her but just her weight.

He likes the complete package as does anyone who loves someone. And if things change too much you can easily go off that person.

if your with someone and they go from a clean freak to a slob. it could put you off that person. Doesn't mean you do not love them but it is not the person you were attracted to in the first place.

he thinks diets are 'rubbish', we all die when it's our time anyway and he wont touch fruit/veg/'muck like that' with a ten foot pole.

Oh dear. You do have your work cut out for you. However, you need to do it, not just for you, but for your daughter.

I have a similar problem in that my DH likes me the way I am, but my doctor has told me to lose weight. DH keeps telling me how 'fantastic' and 'sexy' I look, and that he loves my 'curves'. It makes it very hard to lose weight.