to not have a Christmas Day lunch?

[Mmmdoughnuts]

My mother is working the whole of the Christmas period, my father is going to my stepbrothers for the duration, my sister is going to her inlaws for the duration.

My pil are going with my bil to my sil's family for the duration.

This means this will be mine and my kids and dh, are first ever Christmas that it is just us for the whole festive period. Kids are teenagers, so this is a very odd feeling.

I feel very sad that this is the situation but there you have it.

I have tried to explain to dh, that I am struggling as to how to think to make Christmas day lunch special/different from every Sunday where I cook a full roast just for the four of us.

I said that as my Christmas present, I would like us to go out for Christmas lunch, there is a hotel down the road, that are doing a 7 course christmas lunch for £70pp (total cost of £280). This is a heck of a lot of money, and dh said no way paying that for one meal, and has said instead to go to the local Harvester at a cost of £140.

I don't want to go to a Harvester, the kids love Harvester they will enjoy it and dh will enjoy it.

Now the hotel is doing a 4 course Boxing Day lunch and turkey and all the trimmings are on it for a total cost of £60.

I would prefer to do this instead, and not have Christmas Day lunch, and go for it on Boxing day instead. But I feel like I am being scrooge and ruining Christmas, by not having Christmas day lunch.

AIBU?

I agree with cjbartlett! I would love it to just be the four of us (though I love big family lunch too).

I would have the biggest, fanciest, most fun lunch at home imaginable with loads of cheesy music and family quizzes and a lovely movie afterwards.

Yes you may do a roast every Sunday but do you make pigs in blankets, hmmmm? Or get uproariously drunk and start dancing round the dining room to Wham with your embarassed teens? Exactly!

You poor thing. It must feel like it's not really Christmas if you're used to having extended family around. Talk to your DH and explain why you want to do something different.

Why not get DCs and DH together today and ask them all what they want to do? Think 'outside the box'-they might surprise you.

I can see the big issue isn't the food out, but that you don't think the 'magic' will be there with just your small unit, whereas in a busy noisy restaurant it will be. Actually, you might be sat next to people who started on the champers at breakfast, they will be understaffed whereever you go on Christmas day, the staff will be rushing you and the food won't be as good as you could have done.

Ways to make it different from a normal sunday roast - well unless you're some sort of super mum, I bet you don't do the trimmings every week - get as much as you can from M&S or Waitrose (you'll still save money compared to going out). Is you Mum working the whole day? Could she come over for the evening? Do you have any other friends close by in a similar situation you could invite over in the evening or for bucks fizz in the morning?

For the table, get somehting like those little Christmas trivial quiz boxes I think party pieces do them. For the afternoon, buy a board game and make up 'teams'. Don't just put the tv on.

I know it's hard if you're used to it being a 'crowd' on Christmas day to see how you can do it with just a small number, but if you look back, I bet the most 'magical' aspects and happiest memories of your christmas days with your DCs aren't provided by the other people who surround you, it's from your DCs and your DH.

I've found out my favourite local chinese is open on Christmas Day. Very tempting. Last two years I have cooked a chicken dinner for me, and done DS something different. Not very fun for me to cook and wash, plus he has no interest in sitting down to eat, particularly on christmas day.

I love the sound of those taste of christmas kebabs though.

No way would I spend £60-70 each on a meal! If it's that you don't want to cook go to the harvester and think happily about the fact you are doing no cooking or pot washing. My DS is little so we are tied to the toys on xmas day, but with teens maybe going out would be a good option.

Why doesnt dp/the dcs cook?

I think that getting the DCs to plan it and cook it is a great idea. (doesn't have to be tradional if they don't want it to be).

When I was pregnant with DC3, I bought everything ready prepared from M & S and it was the best Xmas ever!!!!

Rather than one or other of us slaving in the kitchen or making Lego etc, we both had loads of time for the kids and I wrote a list of the timings out and just shoved everything in as required.

Maybe that is a compromise as that wouldn't cost more than £60 for all of you?

God, my ds would LOVE to go to the Harvester for Xmas dinner and I couldn't give a stuff as long as I don't have to cook!

I always cook Christmas dinner for only 3 or 4. My mother lives alone and cooks herself a roast dinner every week.

If you don't usually bother with Christmas dinner that's one thing, but if you usually do and can't be arsed because it's only you DH and kids then you are being a misery guts. They should all help you prep/cook though, no reason for you to be a house elf for the day.

Festive kebabs .... THANK YOU for this!

It looks like just me and the DC on Christmas Day. I am thinking of doing a stew the day before so the flavour develops (I am adding that bit because having reheated stew does sound a bit tragic) and asking the DC what they want to have probably chicken nuggets . We are having a turkey dinner on Boxing Day though with my mum. HTH.

Xmas is what you make it - you need to start feeling festive asap OP or you will put a dampner on the whole thing.

We often have Xmas just the 3 of us - I wouldn't dream of not cooking xmas lunch and xmas dinner is VERY different than sunday roast -everyone knows that

Ds's best bit of Xmas apart from the pressies, is helping me lay the table and lighting the candles etc.

When it was just me and dh before ds came along, we had some lovely Xmasses with just the two of us.

aleene 2 day old stew is always the best!

Brilliant, I haven't made a beef stew for a while. Last winter I had to share my reheated gorgeous stew with someone else. I tried not to mind but it was difficult.

Thank you for the suggestions. And I will snap out of it.

We normally take it in turns to do the entertaining (my mother owns her own catering company which is why she is working), so we love mass entertaining.

Normally 18 to 24 people in the house, normally some juicy argument takes place, others laugh, people arguing look/feel like idiots snaps them out of it, lots of kids, old people, it's a proper good "christmas".

This year I'm feeling like I'm missing the party - but lots of great ideas here, and we are getting some new board/computer games, so we can have lots of playing together.

I would love to go to the harvester for Christmas dinner. Unfortunately my family don't like turkey or duck [I always do chicken and pork] so I am stuck cooking again, which I do nearly every other day of the year.
I just simplify it as much as possible. I buy those little joints in the foil containers. I make it Christmassy by setting the table nicely with crackers and candles. Personally I don't feel the urge to eat more than I normally do or spend hours cooking just because it's Christmas day.

My kids are 19,21, and 24 and they still love Christmas lunch, But we now go out as it saves cooking, Ilve already booked somewhere but discovered this week that Harvester would have ben cheaper adn that you still get unlimeted salad with thier Christmas Day lunch so in fact making it 4 instead of 3 courses, But the place we are going to is very nice and the food's good.

Although I said my kids love Christmas linch it doesn't have to be the blown Turkey and trimmings, We have often had curry, Usually buying a take away on Christmas eve and heting it up on Christmas Day, There is a place round here which make up make up take away meals and sell it cold particularly for that purpose, Of course they also sell it on toher days,

Go to the Harvester on boxing day.

Buy all christmas stuff from M &S, family savers pack which has all you need is £60 and is meant to feed 6 will take hardly any effort to cook or your DH could bung it all the oven/microwave if you want a change from the norm.

Mmmmmmm unlimited salad...

I am with the M&S / Waitroes option. They have some fab ready meals and you don't have to stick to the turkey. Splurge on somethng exotic that you've fancied but couldnt justify the cost. Better still, get the family to come out and you all pick your own meals everyone could have a bit of a taste swap session on the day. Different and fun.
Oh for the luxury of a home alone Christmas, I end up cooking turkey because the olds love it (I hate it) and run myself ragged when all I want to do is enjoy a rib of beef followed by sherry trifle then top button undone veg out with the Queen!

I agree-you can splash out with M&S/Waitrose and still be miles cheaper than going out.