to think that the law is the law?

[PersistentWorrier]

Basically, I'm at my wit's end with DH's employer.

He's working in a bar at the moment (don't even get me started on why, quit a perfectly reasonable full-time job on a good salary ffs) which means odd working hours, usually around 5pm til 'close' which is when they're done clearing up, about 3am on weeknights and 5am on weekdays, but timings vary, it can start as early as 2pm and end as late as 6am.

Fine, whatever, loads of people work long hours. My issue is, that they don't give them the compulsory level of breaks, he never gets written payslips, often doesn't get the full 11 hours between shifts, and the boss-who-does-the-rota keeps swapping and changing things at the last minute, so if we've made any plans as a family they get cancelled, and we struggle to see friends and family any more because we never know whether he'll be at work or not - even if the rota doesn't get changed last minute, it's never put up more than a week in advance.

Doesn't really affect childcare 'cause our DCs are 18 (living away at uni) and 16, but I hoped that once the kids grew up and got thrown from flew the nest we'd have time together as a couple that we haven't had for going on two decades.

AIBU to want to slap his stupid boss round his stupid face and tell him to get his arse into gear, obey the law, and have some consideration for his employees?

sorry for the rant, it's really quite therapeutic :)

It closes at midnight sunday-thursday and 2am friday and saturday. can be later if they're busy or earlier if it's not worth their while staying open.
It takes a good hour or two to clean up etc, but he has been known to stay and have a couple of drinks with the (much younger but thankfully all male) other staff. Doesn't affect me, I'm asleep by that point, but I am miffed that he isn't given payslips - none of the staff are - makes things so so difficult in general when sorting out our home finances, and made things complicated when applying for DD's student finance

I am of the opinion that the boss is the least of your worries and am wondering why you have put up with this man for so long.

Listen to your daughter, he is obviously no better a father than he is a husband!

PW I agree with everything others have said here about your relationship. People treat you how you allow them to, if you allow others (DH included) with a lack of respect, they will but, hey, that's your choice.

Point I would like to make is don't assume DHs employer is the only one. I worked for a large high street retailer until recently and, although I got payslips, etc, I rarely got the breaks I was supposed to, was often kept late with no extra pay and more. Employers to will try to get away with whatever they can

As an ex publican OP, are you sure your husband is being paid on the books? I had a gap in my NI contributions of six months at one point because the person I was managing for was paying me cash in hand without me knowing! (Still deducting "tax" from my wages, but it never actually reached the tax man) You should be able to check simply by phoning the tax office.

As for getting home at 6am, sorry OP, there's no way he's cleaning up for that long. I used to run a 500 capacity venue, which also closed at 2am and even after our busiest nights ever we were always cleaned up and ready to leave by 4am, usually though more like 3am.

The rota/shift swapping is pretty usual for the industry I'm afraid. Unsociable hours inevitably means staff will call in sick at the weekend and someone else will need to be draughted in to cover their shift. It's not right, but they all do it. It's a hard industry, and its only getting harder. My advice would be to steer well clear of it where possible!

What happens about the 48 hr rule? Does that not apply to bar work? Or has it been abolished altogether?

OP, I do hope your DH is earning himself a huge wage for working so many hours. I would like to think there is something positive in this situation apart from that he has a job.

OP, have you been to the bar? I have worked in many, and it has never ever been an all male environment. I really do think he is spinning you a load of bull.

The pub trade is notorious for cash in hand work.. that is why it suits a lot of people, who want to earn a bit of extra money and dont want to be paying basic rate tax on it. Cant say I blame them either.

But as Balloon says, no way does it take that long to clean a bar. Even less these days as there are no ashtrays to do, and that used to be the worst and most time consuming part of clearing up.

Dont be sure that he isnt being given payslips either.. there is every chance that he is, but is lying to you, going by his past record.

And as someone who managed a pub for a thankfully very brief time, as it was one of the worst jobs I ever had, staff rotas are a nightmare... weekends especially, as people just dont bother to turn up, and getting regular reliable staff is almost impossible.