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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want my baby in a car seat during a 30 minute taxi journey?

72 replies

AngryBadger · 23/11/2011 19:29

Okay, I'm travelling with my mother and my 8 month DD. We are going to visit an ill relative and will have a short flight followed by a taxi ride (of around 30 minutes, mostly on a motorway) before we arrive.

We are taking only hand luggage plus a pushchair. I want to take the carseat for DD. I am pretty sure the airline will carry it for free along with the puschair). My mother thinks I am being most unresonable and has phoned me twice to tell me so.

During the most recent call, she told me that I am being really 'over the top' about this and that my father agrees. She said that my DD will be safe on my knee because I will be wearing a seatbelt. I stayed calm (my mother is really hard work at times and starts arguments for no apparent reason) and repeated that I would rather have her in the seat as she will be safer. She then said 'If that's the case, why doesn't legislation say taxis have to carry child seats?'. I put the phone down on her as I couldn't tolerate the conversation any longer.

I don't understand why she gets so worked about things like this. I want to protect my child, I'm not setting out to hurt or upset anyone!

But, as usual, I've come away from a conversation with my mother wondering if I am actually in the wrong? She also told me that my father agrees with her and that they both think I'm being ridiculous - that's also the usual response if I ever disagree with her opinion!

I think I'm being sensible rather than precious, but maybe I'm wrong :-(

OP posts:
northernwreck · 26/11/2011 10:23

I have travelled in lots of taxis with my ds strapped in on my knee since he was about 2, but at 8 months I would have had him in a car seat, and always travelled with it.

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 10:27

If you do have them on your knee it's best not to have them under the seatbelt. As someone said above your weight could crush them against the seatbelt if you were to crash. If they're over 2 it's probably safer for them to have their own seat even if they are too small for the seatbelt.

(Or take one of the taxis with rear facing seats and sit on that together! :))

Catslikehats · 26/11/2011 10:29

northernwreck you are safer putting your DS on the seat next to you and have him restrained by only a lap belt or if he must go on your knee not strapping him in at all.

gallicgirl · 26/11/2011 10:29

Do you not legally need a car seat in a taxi then?

I've wondered this before about black cabs and wouldn't consider not putting DD in car seat.

Catslikehats · 26/11/2011 10:30

xposts with bertie. You really should never strap a child on your lap using your seatbelt. It is very dangerous.

northernwreck · 26/11/2011 10:33

Really? It's just that when I strap him him on his own seat, the seat belt cuts into his neck. Not all taxi have lap belts, but yes, I will do that in future. (He's five now)

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 10:40

You could get one of the portable booster seats if it's a problem to raise him up to a level that the belt is not bothering him. Or even if he tucked it under his arm? I hate seeing this (or the one I've seen which boggles me - where parents instruct the child to put the diagonal part behind them - XP still did this as an adult! Shock) but it's safer than him being on your lap with the belt over both of you.

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 10:44

It's a shame they don't sell those safe-fit things any more which perform the function that the seatbelt clip does in a high backed booster - I remember having one when I was younger. I'm sure they're not as safe in a booster but they would be useful in taxis.

This kind of thing - looks like it might be available in US only.

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 10:45

Oh no, you can get one here.

Halfords

Clossaintjacques · 26/11/2011 10:54

I would find some stats regarding child safety and email them to her

heliumballoon · 26/11/2011 11:10

It's a generational thing. My mother doesn't understand why I don't just clutch DD on my lap either. Don't forget in the 70s we all just rolled around freely in the back of the car and no matter Confused

It's a non-issue surely, especially if the airline will carry it for free. What's the problem? Is it just about waiting for it at the other end? - ten minutes at the carousel. Or is it possible that she is worried about the ill relative and the whole expedition, and is diverting that worry into something which she feels she can "control". Because her reaction seems somewhat disproportionate to the actual hassle that carrying a car seat involves? And yanbu btw.

northernwreck · 26/11/2011 12:09

Bertie-Thanks. I can't carry round a booster seat (walk miles every day) but that safe fit thingy is great.
I will see if I can get one somewhere, because I could easily chuck that in my laptop bag.
Er...I didn't know it was bad to put the diagonal bit behind them Blush

northernwreck · 26/11/2011 12:11

Oh yes-Halfords link, didn't see that. Right-link is emailed to my brother for my xmas pressie!
Sorry for Hijack OP!

hackmum · 26/11/2011 12:46

YADNBU. I am surprised to find that taxis are exempt from the legislation - what's the point of having the legislation in the first place if you make some vehicles exempt? (Though OK, I can kind of see that if you've been out shopping with your baby and want to get home without the faff of the bus, you could make an exception. But only for a short journey.)

northernwreck · 26/11/2011 13:10

The law is you don't have to have one in any car or taxi for a journey of under 3 miles.

northernwreck · 26/11/2011 13:11

It's so people who don't have cars are not actually stranded when they need to get in a vehicle with a child.

Iscreamtea · 26/11/2011 14:29

child car seat law I don't believe the under 3 miles thing is true. I've never heard that before.

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 15:16

Sorry Blush I don't know if it is actually any worse than a lap belt, it just seems like the top bit would provide a lot of extra looseness, but perhaps it wouldn't. I just hadn't seen it before XP used to do it and I was a bit Shock about it.

I was thinking more of one of the inflatable boosters or the ones your child can wear as a backpack as a travel option :) but the seatbelt adjuster would be portable too. I don't see why taxi drivers don't just carry the small boosters in their boots, though. Would be easy enough for them to do.

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 15:17

The under 3 miles thing isn't true, most accidents happen within 5 miles of home anyway, so would be silly. It doesn't make a difference how far you're going. Speed does though.

maybenow · 26/11/2011 15:20

i dont' think it should be law in taxis and i would take a child on my lap in a 30mph zone as i am confident that if braced and alert i could hold onto them in a collision (i have been in a collision at 30mph). but i would NEVER hold a child on my lap above 30mph and certainly not on a motorway!

we have wheelchair accessible cabs here so we take the buggy/pram into the taxi and the child is protected somewhat in there.

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 15:38

Did you know UK carseats only legally have to be tested to 30mph? Also it is harder to hold onto a child in a crash than you would think, because they're thrown forward with the force of their weight multiplied by whatever the speed is.

maybenow · 26/11/2011 16:17

no i didn't know they are only tested to 30mph - that's nuts!

but i do know what it's like to crash at 30mph, i have done so as a passenger in a car and as a passenger on a bus. i use buses all the time without car seats and so i don't see the difference in a taxi. and i'm not about to give up using buses!

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 16:24

Some will be tested to higher speeds, that's just the minimum. I wouldn't be happy using a cheap seat for this reason, although DS's CM uses them in her car and it doesn't bother me because it's only for the school run.

Have you crashed at 30mph while holding something which weighs 2 or 3 stone? I haven't been in that situation but that is apparently what the difficulty is. The childcarseats.org site says "You will not be able to hold onto them, no matter how hard you try" - although without any details that is a bit meaningless.

Buses are different because they are much bigger and heavier, so they stop more slowly (bad news for anything they crash into, though). It's the stopping fast which causes the problems. Plus they are less likely to crash because people are more likely to avoid crashing into them.

maybenow · 26/11/2011 16:31

well my bus hit a wall, so it stopped as quickly as you can imagine! and yes, it was horrible, but i kept myself braced and even had hold of my bag (so it didn't hit anybody else).

i'm not saying that car seats aren't useful, and of course i'd take one if i knew i was planning to get into a taxi or car, i'm just saying that if you're out in town with the buggy and something happens and you want to get home, you can get a taxi. or if the bus doesn't let you on and it's pouring with rain and you and your lo are soaked and freezing, it is sometimes better to get a taxi that wait it out.

BertieBotts · 26/11/2011 16:41

Oh yes, I'm not saying never take taxis to the point of ending up in a horrible situation. And I'm sure we've all ended up travelling in situations which are less than ideal at some point, it's just about finding the safest solution if you do have a choice, if that makes sense.

My point before was that holding onto a bag is a lot different to holding onto a child. [[http://thecarseatlady.blogspot.com/2010/05/oldie-but-most-definitely-goodie-if-you.html This explains the force fairly well.