in thinking that, at 2.5yrs, 'no' sometimes just has to mean 'no'?

[LifeIsButtercream]

DD is 2.5yrs and I'm a lone parent, although I get some help from my parents sometimes.

My Mum is adament that, whenever I have to tell DD to do/not to do something, I should always explain to her why.

Obviously I do so whenever it is feasible - but I'm worried that at her age she's going to get baffled/bored/confused by long winded "because you might/there's a slight chance that/because I'd like you to so that I can/etc" conversations every 5 minutes, and to be honest it's getting a little draining as she is now starting to challenge me for explainations when I'm asking her to do things - not a problem so much at home, but slightly inconvenient when she is lying on the floor in the middle of the very busy fast-pay till aisle while I'm trying to work the sodding machine and refusing to move.

AIBU in thinking that, sometimes, 'no' just has to mean 'no', and 'because I've asked you to' is a reasonable explaination under some circumstances. My Mum thinks I am, and will pull me up on it if I'm caught doing that when they're around!

YANBU! God your mum sounds annoying, at least mine restricts herself to telling me I'm 'making a rod for my own back' by, er, terrible things like breastfeeding for a year. I'm pretty sure toddlers don't even listen to the explanations you give anyway!

YANBU, - I think a long explanation is not always helpful. And you don't want to get into the 'why' cycle.

'Because I said so' is a perfectly acceptable conversation closer.

i have a 2.3yr old and i keep the explanation to a few words or short sentence - i don't want you to fall, you will spill everything on the floor, you are making a mess. i only use a handful of them and have been doing it for a while so he seems to be getting the idea.

they may understand more than they can communicate (hence the terrible 2 tantrums) but they're not really going to stop and weigh up the pros and cons of each situation, wonder if mummy will let them or not....they're impulsive little sods.

YANBU... and to add to tigermoll's ' 'Because I said so' ...I'm your Mother, that's why.

At 10 no is no too sometimes

There is not always the time to explain why, just they need to stop it - explanations can come later if need be.

With my 3 I have always worked on the basis that I never say no without good reason and I have always told them that reason. It doesn't have to be complicated and they know that I am not open to negotiation.
Eg no, that dangerous
No, it's nearly teatime
No, it's too many pennies.
Etc...

My 'explanations' often go along the lines of 'because if you don't put your shoes on I'm going without you'. Possibly not the truth but usually gets her moving, especially if I head to the front door with intent....

I'm all for explaining on occasion - nappy changes can be a bit of an issue and I do often try and encourage it along with 'If you sit in a dirty nappy you are going to be sore'. Doesn't usually work though - her reasoning of 'But I don't WANT to' is supposed to be her trump card. So the explanation is repeated as I clamp her under one arm and carry her screaming up the stairs. I think I explain in a desperate and futile attempt to convince her I am a good Mummy and I Know What I Am Doing. It has no impact on her, so mostly, I go with the 'No just means No because I've said it.'

Has your DD got good language skills for her age? Because mine has - she chatters with more clarity and fluency than a lot of the kids her age at various swimming lessons, toddler groups etc. But, it is easy to get sucked in and assume that it means she understands a lot more. I don't think she does really. I think she's no further ahead in her reasoning ability than any other kids her age but her speech might lead you to think otherwise and try to use explanations that are actually far too complicated for her. She can say the words, doesn't mean she understands what they mean.

IMO at 2.5 yo no always just has to mean no -otherwise you create that rod for your back

yep, "because mummy said" is my usual refrain. I think that should be enough in the same way that it is sometimes in my teaching job, if I tell a student to move seats or not to close the blind or whatever I don't expect to have to explain. As others have said the toddlers won;t understand anyway