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AIBU?

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Original poster

to feel sickend that 8/10 year olds knew in fair detal about abortion?

75 replies

quechelle · 23/11/2011 17:07

the other day i was walking my girls round the local park and a group of kids between about age 8/10 mix of girls n boys wer all "mucking about" in the park one of them put a football in her t-shirt while another was punching it out and a couple of the kids (the younger ones) wer all laughing and shouting about how shes having an abortion n the other one was getting rid of the baby for her. me and my partner wer gob smacked and moved my girls along a bit sharpish after seeing that.

i was actually a bit sickend by the thought that kids so young understood the meaning of aborting a baby at a junior school age. my children arnt in school yet, they are both fairly young so i dont know what they get taught in schools but i assume thats probably not a topic that would come into convosation with children until they are in the higher years of senior school(if at all ??).

it kind of worried me to think that either a parent or older siblin had explain somthing like that to these kids and obviously not well enough for them to understand its not somthing to joke about expesh while they are around alot of younger childern. or posably they had seen something on telly. i dont know but surley as a parent you wouldnt be letting your child learn about abortion that young and if you knew they had some sort of knowledge of it then you'd try to explain it lightly to them that its not somthing to go telling other children and certanly not somthing to joke about.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 23/11/2011 22:09

but they don't need to know.

Why should they?

At thirteen, fourteen, when possibly older friends are going through teenage pregnancy and making such decisions (I know that's young but ykwim), but at ten a child does not need to know that a woman can decide she doesn't want to go through with a pregnancy and terminate it. What possible reason is there for a child to need to know that?

meditrina · 23/11/2011 22:15

I don't think it's taught in schools in KS2.

The likeliest place for hearing about it in that age group is The Simpsons. That won't provide any proper information, just enough to know that the procedure exists and is controversial in the US.

JjingleBeanplusPudalltheway · 23/11/2011 22:21

I left school in 2005, abortion was not mentioned at all, in anyway shape or form, nor was miscarrying.

ElaineReese · 23/11/2011 22:24

They won't have got that from school. Kids do talk and get the wrong end of sticks.

maybenow · 23/11/2011 22:26

"at ten a child does not need to know that a woman can decide she doesn't want to go through with a pregnancy and terminate it. What possible reason is there for a child to need to know that?"

  • because they hear the word on the news or papers and ask what it means? would you refuse to tell a child of ten what a word means? i wouldn't.
IneedAbetterNickname · 23/11/2011 22:28

My cousins 10 year old, asked what rape was. My cousin then ended up explaining that a and as a result abortion, as DD wanted to know what women do in that situation. Me and my cousin are very much of the opinion if they ask tell them!

slavetofilofax · 23/11/2011 22:30

It was hardly detailed information about abortion you heard. All they knew was wat abortion was. So on that YABU.

I don't think it's that bad that children that age know what abortion is. The way they were palying sounds a bit sick though, but then that's what children do when they don't understand the detail of something.

Birdsgottafly · 23/11/2011 23:30

It was talked about when i went to school, I am in my 40's.

My DD (13) has just finished a course in which abortion was covered. It would have been wrong for it to have been left out, as every other aspect of sexual relationships and virtual baby care was included. She has LD's.

Abortion was covered in the 'teenage sex show', younger children usually watch this sort of show with older siblings and tell their friends. You cannot keep children in the dark, unfortunately (or not, depending on your opinion). It is even in song lyrics, these days.

ShengdanRoad · 24/11/2011 05:12

Better to explain it honestly than let kids pick up misinformation.

My friend told me that the process of getting rid of a baby was "ablution", so imagine my horror when my mum told me she was going upstairs for "ablutions"...

lesley33 · 24/11/2011 06:16

I really don't think what you witnessed was children knowing all about abortion. After all abortions don't involve being punched in the stomach. What I think you witnessed was children reenacting a domestic violence scene, probably one seen on the tv. And it is usual for kids to do this and laugh about things they don't really understand, but are emotionally charged. It is a way of dealing with them.

chandellina · 24/11/2011 06:44

Yabu. Some of them will be faced with this decision within years. Why not have at least a passing familiarity? And op, why should we only teach it as a choice for anyone at any time without exploring the moral issues? Can anyone categorically say it is always the "right" decision?

crazygracieuk · 24/11/2011 07:04

I have a 8 and 10 year old.

It sounds like the children have seen a real adult come home after an abortion or seen it in a soap.

I would put good money on the fact that they are misinterpreted what they have seen/heard and the punching was an analogy of how much it hurt. (I say this as I was talking to them about how much bad period cramps hurt)

Mine wouldn't know what a miscarriage or abortion is as I have not gone through either but they were around when I went into labour (very sidden and really fast)so used to pretend to give birth using screams that I apparently made. [hmmm]

OriginalPoster · 24/11/2011 07:07

They may have got it from books, too. I read a lot as a child, including books for grown ups, Susan Howatch, Harold Robbins etc. Even Thomas Hardy has rape and miscarriage. If a younger child has been reading modern teen fiction, available in industrial quantities in any library, the themes are almost exclusively about teen sexuality or troubled families. Newspapers and magazines are also full of these topics.

I don't have a problem with them knowing what an abortion or miscarriage is, but they should know that it is not a laughing matter.

Wannabe, I'm sorry your mum put you through that, you were far to young to understand it was not your fault.

Moominsarescary · 24/11/2011 07:14

They probably know you don't hit it out, they were playing with a ball (which you hit) a girl was pretending it was a baby, at that age they can have the knowledge about alot of things but not the emotional understanding.

I don't think it's a bad thing for children to be aware of abortions at a young age, over the next couple of years they will probably talk about it amongst themselves, see things on tv an talk to their parents and develope a better understanding, unfortunately some children will be making decisions regarding teen pg by 13-14 so having a few years to digest the information and get a better understanding can be a good thing

pinkytheshrunkenhead · 24/11/2011 07:17

Crikey what on earth are Mothers doing discussing abortions with their 7 year old child? My DD is 10 and she has no idea about what an abortion is (and not for a couple of years yet unless she asks) - She came home from school the other say saying that someone's mother had had a third miscarriage - ffs how do these children know so much and wtf are children meant to do with this sort of information?

Also very concerning that children are watching soap opera - yea it can e a springboard for important conversations but I don't want a box in the coner of my living room deciding when and how I discuss important issues with my children.. As a parent, that is me to decide. Fucking shite telly has a lot to answer for imo.

OriginalPoster · 24/11/2011 07:25

Pinky, if you had a miscarriage, especially a late one, you'd have to explain it to your dcs if they knew you were expecting, surely. Like if someone dies, you have to tell the dcs and deal with the practicalities.

cory · 24/11/2011 07:26

From the OP it certainly doesn't sound as if these children have had an educational talk from a parent or school: it sounds as if they had picked up the concept from television or (perhaps more likely) older siblings and understood very little about it. It is very difficult to stop older children talking in the hearing of younger children.

Moominsarescary · 24/11/2011 07:50

My 8 year old knows about miscarriage, it was explained to him after I had one this year, he had told quite alot of his friends that I was pregnant so I suppose their parents had to explain it to them as well

valiumredhead · 24/11/2011 07:58

Also very concerning that children are watching soap opera - yea it can e a springboard for important conversations but I don't want a box in the coner of my living room deciding when and how I discuss important issues with my children.. As a parent, that is me to decide. Fucking shite telly has a lot to answer for imo

Actually I have found it quite useful, it doesn't dictate what I tell ds and if he asks I have been known to say ' Oh I wasn't watching properly" and if he doesn't ask again, I just leave it, if I think the subject is a bit too much for his age BUT saying that, soaps are on at 7 pm, they rarely have subjects that are age innapropriate for 10 year olds.

valiumredhead · 24/11/2011 07:59

I am more concerned the majority of kids I know are allowed to play COD, not that they might ask about abortion from watching something on a soap.

cory · 24/11/2011 08:04

All it takes is for somebody's 13yo cousin to have watched a soap and then talked to a friend within the hearing of the younger child. I am all for protecting the littlies, but you can't bring them up in a bubble. And unless you are prepared to hide all newspapers, uncomfortable topics will creep in.

valiumredhead · 24/11/2011 08:46

Exactly cory and kids DO talk in the playground, and parents of 8 - 10 year olds need to think on their feet when asked questions by them

NinkyNonker · 24/11/2011 08:50

What type of school did you go to Mama?! I am older than you and that sounds hugely outdated.

Trills · 24/11/2011 09:02

I think if a 10 year old asks then there is no reason not to tell them all of the below:

#you get pregnant by having sex (which involves penises going into vaginas)
#it takes about 9 months for a baby to be ready to be born
#babies are normally born out of the vagina but sometimes doctors cut into your tummy to take them out - this is a caesarian
#sometimes babies are born earlier than they should be and they are not very well
#sometimes you get pregnant but then it stops on its own - this is a miscarriage
#if you get pregnant but you don't want to have a baby there is special medicine you can take to make it go away - this is an abortion

I'm assuming here that 10 year olds already know about periods and puberty, etc.

Dawndonna · 24/11/2011 09:04

Ten year olds should be taught about contraception and abortion. How many get pregnant at 13. We have the highest teen pregnancy rate in Europe and the worst sex education. Until this country grows up and accepts that sex and all that is related to it is not dirty, but something normal, natural and healthy, we will continue to have teen pregnancies.