to think it is never a good idea to tell a perfect stranger that they must have had an easy life

[mosp]

This happened to me some weeks ago. Shop assistant thought I looked 14 years younger than I am.

Then today, I overheard a similar exchange in Superdrug between the assistant and another customer at the till.

Maybe I'm too sensitive to glib comments, but it can trigger a person who is having anything but an easy life.

I'm 35 and he thought I was a first year student

If someone thought I looked 18 I'd kiss them. Tongues and all.

@ mosp

Now you're just boasting

hiddenhome, thank you. I am 'in the system' atm. I suppose I just wondered whether people thought it was a bit of a dodgy remark as remarks go.

I suppose, not until you are affected by something does it occur to you not to say certain things. E.g. I would never ask anyone about if they want another baby (another chit chat remark) since my friend had a stillbirth.

Not boasting! Actually, I do look a little younger than my years, but definitely NOT 18! He must have been not looking properly.

Or he was chatting you up!

mosp
Sometimes when you are not in a good place, you sort of want the world to acknowledge how much pain you have gone through and how well you are doing. I can understand that these "throwaway" comments might feel to you like they are invalidating all the hard work and effort you might need to put in just to get out and about each day.

I would take them as a sign of how well you are doing if people can't see that life has not been easy for you.

I am making an assumption that you are not finding life so easy at the moment and if that is the case then I hope you are getting the help you need.

x post

hiddenhome

look here

#humblebrag

"Sometimes when you are not in a good place, you sort of want the world to acknowledge how much pain you have gone through and how well you are doing. I can understand that these "throwaway" comments might feel to you like they are invalidating all the hard work and effort you might need to put in just to get out and about each day."

I agree with Chazs. Someone makes it as a throwaway comment, but if actually your life has involved being beaten up by an alcoholic stepfather, being raped at 13, getting addicted to heroin at 15, then actually someone telling you that you must have had an easy life would probably piss you off. A bit like someone saying, "Smile, it may never happen" when your DH died last week. (Though "Smile, it may never happen" is always irritating, whatever the circs.)

Glad at least someone gets where I'm coming from :)

"not young, just pickled" and wink
leaves most people know knowing what to think