i was having an awful day with the children at the weekend, i was working from home, dp was on overtime the kids had got up at 2am for the last week straight and my son was refusing to do homework. everyhting went to pot.
i rang my parents in desperation and they spoke to ds, *still no homework done). later that eve my rode on her bike to mine and gave me:
A hot roast dinner
black magic chocs
xmas edition of home and something
cosmo mag (i dont read them but still)
Just because i was feeling shit.
now my mother and I have an awful relationship, shes been really cruel.
but i remember how much i loved her mother (sadly passed away). am now thinking that as she only lives a few streets away (half an walk, 10 mins on bike) that being so close we should have xmas together. we havent since i was 15. it was hell at home, i hated xmas the forcedness, the having to look increasing delighted at every gift.
id have loved xmas with nana, my children would love it too. but i still feel this issue with her, its like an itch or a pain in your arm whenever i think of her.
I thought maybe i should invite her, everyhting will be wrong, she wont sit on the seat of my toilet as its "too dirty" (she did that before, we never talked about it) shel hate my food tc.
maybe im just getting emotional in my old age, (i felt like i wanted to cry at baby group when i watched my 2 yr old sing twinkle twinkle).
whats wrong with me? do i risk it?