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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To invite my parents to mine for xmas? I hugged my mum the other day for the first time in over 10yrs

7 replies

knittedbreast · 23/11/2011 14:38

i was having an awful day with the children at the weekend, i was working from home, dp was on overtime the kids had got up at 2am for the last week straight and my son was refusing to do homework. everyhting went to pot.

i rang my parents in desperation and they spoke to ds, *still no homework done). later that eve my rode on her bike to mine and gave me:

A hot roast dinner
black magic chocs
xmas edition of home and something
cosmo mag (i dont read them but still)

Just because i was feeling shit.

now my mother and I have an awful relationship, shes been really cruel.
but i remember how much i loved her mother (sadly passed away). am now thinking that as she only lives a few streets away (half an walk, 10 mins on bike) that being so close we should have xmas together. we havent since i was 15. it was hell at home, i hated xmas the forcedness, the having to look increasing delighted at every gift.

id have loved xmas with nana, my children would love it too. but i still feel this issue with her, its like an itch or a pain in your arm whenever i think of her.

I thought maybe i should invite her, everyhting will be wrong, she wont sit on the seat of my toilet as its "too dirty" (she did that before, we never talked about it) shel hate my food tc.

maybe im just getting emotional in my old age, (i felt like i wanted to cry at baby group when i watched my 2 yr old sing twinkle twinkle).

whats wrong with me? do i risk it?

OP posts:
knittedbreast · 23/11/2011 14:53

someone on here must have done xmas and had their parents over?

OP posts:
ZonkedOut · 23/11/2011 14:59

Sounds like she had a really nice moment there, do you think she might have changed? You are the only one who can say whether you want to risk having her for Christmas, but you could always not decide yet, and try to work on building the relationship back up over the next couple of weeks and see how you feel then.

You don't need to invite them this year to build the trust back, take it slowly if you're not sure. Don't invite them on an impulse which you might regret later.

NatashaBee · 23/11/2011 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beamur · 23/11/2011 15:10

I agree with the idea of having dinner or something together first and built it from there.
The expectation for Xmas would be great and if it all goes pear shaped you'll feel hurt and let down again.
I'd take it a bit more gradually.

mumofthreekids · 23/11/2011 16:26

Or how about a low key invite for Xmas, ie a couple of hours rather than the while day?

It's lovely to think of you and your mum reconciling and your kids having a relationship with their gran. Cruel is a strong word though, so tread carefully.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 23/11/2011 16:28

Overly emotional and nostalgic? Have you peed on a stick yet?

spiderpig8 · 23/11/2011 16:43

xmas is stressful enough.It is the wrong time to start building a new relationship.

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