to be worried about my friend

[ScratchRhythm]

Full background here

Long story short, she is pregnant, her DP has problems with binge-drinking and cocaine use.

Am I massively interfering if I try to talk to him about it and suggest some counselling? Also, am I massively out of line to try and get her some legal advice? I am really worried about her

I'd try and talk to her first. Even if it's just to suss the situation out a bit better.

I wouldn't go straight to him to talk to be honest, this would seem a bit interfery. Speak to friend.

Sorry, didn't make it clear - I am going to talk to her tonight or tomorrow. Have just had a brief email exchange with her now... I think she's somewhat in denial about it all, so I'm really conscious about seeming heavy-handed.

I'm going to find out exactly what's going on and gently suggest a few things. Me and him used to be quite close, so it would not be totally weird for us to go out for a quick drink and a chat, but I would have to be very diplomatic. I would run this by her first.

You sound like a fab friend Scratch, yes, I'd do exactly what you propose.

No I would just be there for your friend in case you come across as interfering and judgey.

Also, in these cases you tend to find that if you upset him...she'll probably be on 'his side' rather than yours.

On your other thread you say "I have been away a lot and since I got back have tried to meet up with her, so I can see how she is and whether her DP is behaving himself. My suspicions are that he is not, since I have recently had some online messages from him, sounding wasted, at 3-4 in the morning"

So you don't even know whether he's 'behaving' or not.