AIBU? I don't like teenagers....

[MrsTonySoprano]

Lord help me for this, I know I'm in for a flaming and I AM old but....

The more I see of them the more I can't stand them. They are (and I generalise here) rude, swear in public places as a matter of making conversation, the girls are plastered in makeup with over processed hair, they Twitter about how hard life is cause they have to get out of bed and go to school, they do nothing around the house, think everyone owes them, feel allowances should be made for nasty behaviour because they're teenagers (??). Push past you in the street and then say "WELL EXCUSE MEEEE" like you did something wrong. One I know well, talks with friends about anyone they don't like being like "a special needs kid" and "mong".

Oh God. Rant over. I just don't like them. And I'm about to have one of my own next year!

OP I honestly don't know any teenagers like that. My teen is lovely most of the time - quite old-fashioned in his chivalry towards me and his little sister and makes me feel really proud. Of course he has his mood swings sometimes and drives me nuts, but there's much more good than bad - and I can honestly say the same for his friends. Not that any of them are as perfect as my son, of course

I think then, that it may be a "when they're not at home" thing. I truly am not making these incidents up!!

Perhaps at home, they behave in one way and out and about, in another entirely different way (some of them, at least). That's the only thing I can think of. Peer pressure to "act big"? So many of them smoking too....in their uniforms, leaving school.

I think they can be very guilty of thoughtlessness.

Selfishness too, but if you can point it out to them, they'll usually understand.

They are lovely though. I love the way teens just 'get' each other all the time.

There were some really dreadfully behaved 13 year olds on the train the other night, they were absolutely vile.
But having a DD 14 and DS 16, none of their friends would act like they did.
Most of them are really lovely and polite.

They are no different from the rest of the population-the good, the bad and the indifferent.

But these kids belong to someone!!! Whilst I agree, it's unfair to suggest ALL are horrid, clearly....some are. And one could assume, that THEIR parents would be shocked to hear them mouthing off about ethnic minorities, and that's the polite term used!

None of the teens I know are like that....

I love the way you seem to expect the affluent area and two holidays a year to make some sort of difference?

Some of the rudest, most obnoxious spoilt brats I've ever known come from rich families and equally, some of them don't.

It's about upbringing and manners...not dosh.

^What worra said...

You can't paint them all with the same brush. I live in what is supposed to be a "rough" area and the teenagers around here are absolutely lovely. They were hanging out in the park recently when I was there with my DS (10 months). One of them ran up to open the gate for me and said hi to my DS, then went and told the others to be careful with the ball they had as there was a baby about. When one of them cursed later another said "Oi! Watch your language! There's a baby over there!" The only thing I had to object to was that one said "Mind the lady" when one of them was running too near me. Em I'm too young to be a "lady" thanks! Another young teenager helped me hugely when I was at the park with DS and my friend's toddler who was acting up a bit. She played with the toddler and caught her for me when she tried to run away. She was a very sweet girl.

There is bad and good everywhere.

I think you need to get out more!

Seriously. And keep your eyes open. Because the kind of teenagers you are talking about do exist but they are in the minority. DS1 despises them and calls the 'chavs' (and yes we've had the conversation about sweeping generalisations and name calling but he tells me that 'chavs' are a social group ). Most teenagers i know are not like this! Thank god.

If they swaer in public places it's probably because they've heard others (grown ups) doing it. If they do nothing in the house it's because others (grown ups) have let them get away with it, ditto make-up, a sense of entitlement etc. They're not born that way, they're that way because they'v learned it from somewhere.

Generally speaking.

I remember DD saying she hated teenagers after she had to teach a class of them Maths, she's 21!

I laughed a very hollow laugh.

She was utterly vile from 14-16.

YABU, although I suppose you're allowed to like and dislike whoever you wish.

The thing is, generalising is really pretty unfair, as you're using the behaviour of a probably very small snapshot of teenagers to make assumptions about the rest. I suppose I would have a little more sympathy if you were e.g. a secondary school teacher (although I don't know you're not!), who really did come across a wide cross section of teens, but based on a few kids hanging around a street corner, I think it's a bit unfair to judge.

To offer a counter argument, I think teenagers are great, or at least I do today, based on recent experience. Last night I went to a presentation evening where 45 teenage girls were being presented with awards, from Duke of Edinburgh's Awards, to Young Leader (in the Girl Guides) qualifications, to the highest award in Girlguiding, the Queen's Guide Award. As well as doing GCSEs and A'levels and in many cases having part time jobs, All of them had spent significant amounts of their own time doing service in the community, working hard to learn new and difficult things, pushing themselves and excelling in things like sports/outdoor activities etc. and demonstrating a commitment to better themselves, to help people and do generally good things.

Not saying all teenagers are like this either, or that this is the only way to be a 'nice' teenager, but this is the other side of the picture, there are some lovely teens out there.

D

I had absolutely awful teenage years- and I must say, the teenagers I see every day seem so much nicer and more accepting and less judgemental than my friends in my teenage years. And I envy them for being able to dye their hair pink and be a Goth without being expelled from school and told it was the end of civilisation as we knew it.

The only thing I hate is that stupid squealing and overt hugging that seems so popular. I grew up in the 80s and it was only cool then to mutter at your mates and perhaps raise an eyebrow and say 'wotcha' if you felt particularly emotional.

I like teenagers. Life is bigger when you are a teen, and things are more exciting, music for example, because it is all new to them.

But I think that people find it easier to get along with certain age groups than others. Perhaps we get annoyed by people in the phase we have just come out of, or perhaps we just carry certain phases more with us throughout life.

I'm in my thirties and know I am rather intolerant of people in their twenties; sometimes people in their twenties seem self absorbed, lacking in responsibility, flippant, transitory and lacking in depth. But I know it is really that I am being way too judgemental and should look more at my own faults.

I love teenagers. They are funny, vibrant, full of dazzle and pzazz. It's also a tough age to be - half child/half adult, with so little knowledge of the world. I feel a bit sorry for most of them, to be honest. All that bravado, hairspray and war paint masking a mass of insecurities and worries about fitting in. poor loves.

OP, you are obviously getting old and grumpy!

LOL Milly - I am finding it hard to be quite as tolerant as I should be of the parents of very young children atm. So I think your theory may hold water

I'll get me coat......

Exclellent post, mumbrane

There is a club locally for teenagers with special needs. Each teenager (about 25 a week) gets 1 to 1 help whilst at the club...from another teenager.

The helper teenagers are some of the best people I've ever met. Their enthusiasm, sensitivity, creativity, joie de vivre, their amazing plans for their future (bittersweet, as my own son will not have quite that future), the support they show, the maturity with which they take on their duties, their fundraising efforts for the club, their interest in all aspects of life as a disabled young person.
I must just be incredibly lucky. I am honoured to know them, and will be very very sad when my son's helper goes off to uni next year. I have seen him grow from a really nice 14 year old to a wonderful young man of 18 (perhaps his Mum gets all the bad bits, but somehow I don't think so).

I find they're a bit like spiders, scary at first sight, but then you take a deep breath and realise they are more scared of you than you are of them.