Christmas :(

[hippysmum]

I have been seperated from ex dh for over 2 years - the last two years i had him for christmas dinner and then he took the kids until the day after Boxing Day - this year we are going through a Divorce and I really don't want to spend time with him. He has just gone on holiday somewhere nice and hot while I am here at home with my 3 children with the flu and my doctor says I am suffering from stress. DD2 has Autism and is having a bad patch at the moment. I feel completely crap and yes a little resentful at times that he doesnt pull his weight but some men are like that. Am I being unreasonable to not want to cook his Christmas Dinner - I would rather throw it at him to be honest. The only thing is he is likely to go away if I don't (or maybe he makes me think this because there were control issues) and then the children won't see him at all.

Yanbu!!

Knock it on the head now. What he then does is his choice. By next Xmas you will be divorced and new partners may be creeping onto the scene. It needs to stop

How old are the dc anyway? They will just have to go with it

Thank you - i feel once the divorce is over I won't feel so intimidated :)

Although I think your being unfair to resent him a holiday (although understandable!) of course you don't have to cool Christmas dinner for him. What you do need to do is talk to him (and children dependant on age) and plan what will happen over Christmas.

no yanbu

this is about you too not just about the children if he chooses to go away that is his choice to miss out spending time with them over christmas and for him to explain why

I don't really resent him going away - if i had the chance i would go it's probably just because i don't feel so good at the moment - bad timing more than anything. the children are aged between 5 and 13.