to think this is actually really rude!

[JjingleBeanplusPudalltheway]

Dd is 3 tomorrow, we'd planned a little party at home, nothing extravagant just 6 kids 6 adults including us, few cakes sandwiches etc.

Knowing how busy everyone is I asked them what time is good, they said 2 o'clock. That's fine. Confirmed last weekend with everyone 2 o'clock.

Now mum and aunt are denying all knowledge of arranged time and saying there's no way they'd have agreed to it despite me having texts from them. And have had a huge shouting match over the phone at me.

I'm really upset --stupid hormonal and pregnant--

I feel like ringing back and saying don't bother if your going to be two hours late, sunday night bedtimes are non negotiable due to ds still settling at ft school so by the time they get here, inevitably 30mins later than they've now said they'll be just over an hour before dd and ds need a bath and bed.

Its always like this but if we ever dared be 5minutes late for there dcs wed hear about forever.

Show them their texts agreeing to the time?

It's most odd they agreed and then said they didn't. Are you sure when you read the texts again, that they are actually saying yes to that time?

YANBU. Put DS to bed at the normal time. If they confirmed 2 then they are BU.

Yes, I know its a bigger issue, but surely there is no argument if you can say to them "In your text of XX:XX on the Xth of Nnovember, You said that 2pm was fine"

They sound like dh's family - saying stuff then denying it despite witnesses/evidence.

Enjoy your ccelebrations without them

Have you double checked your texts?

Just tell them it's a shame that they can't make it to the party, and that you hope that they can catch up with DD soon.

You invited them, the party is at 2pm, they can either make it or they can't. You didn't have to run the time past them first.

Jeez why are they so rude?
As soon as they arrive make sure they know the party finishes at 5pm so you've got enough time for early bedtime

I would phone/text back, restating the 2pm start time and tell them this was what was agreed. Also tell them that's a shame if they can't make it but that was the agreed party time, they can come over some other day.

carry on with the party as normal then. sod them

tbh I would have had the party on the Saturday night so you could relax bedtimes.

Hope you have a lovely party

I have the texts saying," we have this that and the other so 2pm, 2.30 at the very latest."

I'm just so fed up, we've lived here since july and they visited once for ds birthday and once because we were near someone they were visiting, last time we invited them we got a call ten minutes after they'd agreed saying "let's meet at the seaside, see you there"

We visit my mum 3+ times a week, she doesn't drive but there's a really reliable bus that I USE!! And my aunt drives but is utterly self absorbed.

Dd is asking for them non stop since breakfast!

words they were all too busy saturday. I only bother because dd loves her cousins and my much younger siblings (3 and 6yos)

Ah in that case stick laxatives in their tea.

Save this thread to remind you next year invite her friends over and no family

How bizarre. They are denying the text messages?!

Have the party and tell them that they are welcome to come at the previously agreed time, but that you are not able to move it to accomodate changes of minds.

Do they have history of weird gaslighting-type behaviour?

tidy my aunt has a history of denying anything to suit her current mood, she's a twat basically 99% of the time.

But since me and dp have only two friends and dd has no little friends yet except her uncle who's also 3 (complicated) and her own brother this is the best we can offer her.

Dp is fuming as we've already had an issue with his side as they wouldn't visit this weekend as next weekend there's a local christmas fayre so they're coming for that.

We have really shit familys.

words ill ring dp to fetch some as he's now at tescos