AIBU to want my own lobster?

[workshy]

ok I know lobsters don't really mate for life but it's a nice thought

I've been single toooooo long and I'm lonely but in no position to be dating (kids dad had them 2 nights a fortnight -I work those 2 nights!)

lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody, to call my own -oo-ooo-ooooo

AIBU to want to have someone?

and this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I have just watched when Harry met Sally

YANBU

Lobsters need loving too

YANBU to not like being on your own.

How long have you been on your own?

What is it you don't like/miss?

I've been on my own nearly 2 years and I don't miss him or anything about him

but I hate being by myself
I don't like not being able to leave the house once the kids are in bed
I don't like not being able to have a conversation about what's on the tv
I don't like not having someone to take turns at making the coffee
I don't like not having someone to offload on at the end of a stressful day at work
I don't like never having a glass of wine because I've got no one to share the bottle with
I don't like not eating out ever
I don't like having no one to cuddle up to when it's cold the cat doesn't count

ok -someone snap me out of this mood

I hear that they're cheap in lidl's.

I used to be the same as you (but without DC) and had always lived in shared houses or with another person, and for the first few months of living on my own I was really freaked out, the long hours stretching out in front of you - alone - was bloody horrible.

I think though, that the worst bit was that it kind of amplifies 'you', and if you don't overly like yourself it can be a bit of a nightmare. I don't know whether that applies to you, but I wasn't shit hot on just being happy with myself at the time and it can make a difference if you're able to get to grips with it.

But you have to balance all the things you've said you don't like with the benefits (which are mostly selfish tbh), in the end I found I was actually happier on my own and started not answering the door to people coming round

the only benefit that I can see is that the ex isn't here anymore :(

I've never been happy in my own company

I'm from a family of 5 and moved straight from home in with my ex and we were together 12 years so this alone thing isn't working for me

Reasons to be cheerful:

It's great to be able to put your feet up and let it all hang out once the kids are in bed.
It's wonderful to be able to watch what you want on tv and not have to suffer endless chitchat about what you've just watched, or what you're going to watch next.
It's time-saving to make your own coffee just a you like it without having to worry about catering for someone else's tastes.
It's refreshing not having to put up with someone listening with half an ear when you try to offload after a stressful day at work.
It's highly satisfying that you don't have to share your bottle of vino with anyone - pour yourself another
It's liberating to be able to go to any restaurant you choose and dine alone without the sinking feeling that you're going to have to make meaningless conversation throughout the duration of a delicious meal.

It's amazing how comforting it can be to slip in to a warm bed that's been heated by an electric blanket, or clutch a hot water bottle that's ensconced in a cosy cover when you slip between the sheets.

As for pet lobsters, they're not the most cuddly of creatures and are probably best enjoyed as a thermidor or observed from a glassbottomed boat.

However, in the immortal words of Pete & Dud aka Derek & Clive, the world is your lobster - and it can only get better.

You li'l ol' hermit, you, Agent

Discover the world of books, OP - you'll never be alone with a good one and, for my taste, Radio 4 is best enjoyed in perfect solitude by the fireside on a cold winter's evening.

I totally agree with all of that izzy (apart from eating out alone, I used to work as a waitress and gave more attention to people eating alone because I felt really sorry for them. Probably annoyed them to fuck )

Having the bed to yourself could be hugely expanded though. No one nicking the duvet, snoring, constantly fucking moving about creating earthquake-like movements just when you're dropping off, well...just fucking breathing actually

Unless they're a really young DC, any disturbance is a disturbance too far when you're trying to kip.

I am now izzy, and look how happy I am on it...

I've found I'm a loner rather than lonely, which given, isn't for everyone, but it's given me more self esteem to know I can be happy on my own.

If I'm with someone it's because I choose to be rather than because it's better than the alternative, and that wasn't always the case.

It can drive you to make decisions for the wrong reasons.

Get a lodger?

You don't need a lodger and certainly not one that'll try to park their cock in your garage clog your bathroom plugholes up with hairs from assorted parts of their body

Get to know yourself, OP, and you'll find that you are the best possible company you can ever keep

OP start here --> "I've never been happy in my own company". I agree with Izzy Until you're happy with yourself, how can you expect to be happy with anyone else?

Do things that make you happy on your own and with friends. Its such a tired old cliche but once you start having fun and being happy on your own and forget about finding someone, your chances of someone finding you will increase massively.

I'm gutted. I clicked on this thinking it would be a thread about lobsters - I adore lobster, I've asked for one all to myself for Xmas (DSF has a fishing boat) and thought I'd found a friend.

Should know better after ages on MN that things wouldn't be all they seemed .

I came on here, fully expecting a thread about your fancy well-to-do MIL not approving of you marrying her darling little DS, so has refused to give you a lobster at the annual Christmas get-together!

YANBU :)