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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really want the mn verdict on this.....(sleep training related)

28 replies

HalleysWaitress · 19/11/2011 21:05

I have been bumping into a mum I know as an acquaintance recently who has a dc bit younger than mine who is 2.

This mum divulged that her dc 'does not sleep' at night so her and her dp ignore the baby and go to sleep with earplugs in.

I have really tried to word this post in a non judgey way because i really want to know what mn think about this.

OP posts:
MollyintheMoon · 19/11/2011 21:08

YABU. It has nothing to do with you.

worraliberty · 19/11/2011 21:08

It's known on here as CIO (Crying It Out)

It's not something I would ever do

Housewifefromheaven · 19/11/2011 21:09

She was probably joking.

I wear earplugs, my husband snores. However, I still miraculously hear the kids if they call out - so I would take her comment with a pinch of salt.

lisad123 · 19/11/2011 21:09

Well clearly I don't agree, it's terrible behaviour but not sure anything you can do

Dalrymps · 19/11/2011 21:10

It's a difficult one. It depends what they mean by 'doesn't sleep'. If they mean he wakes a few times and settles back to sleep within a minute or two (as my 20 month old does) then maybe that's not so bad. If he's awake half the night then it seems very sadSad

I have to say I wouldn't do it myself incase the little one was ill or if there was a fire and they couldn't hear the smoke alarm etc.. Seems a bit extreme but it's really hard to say anything without knowing the situation properly.

thisisyesterday · 19/11/2011 21:10

poor baby :(

i am not sure why you want our verdict on it though?

are you thinkikng of talking to her about it?

4madboys · 19/11/2011 21:10

well its non of your business BUT the fact that she mentioned it to you means maybe she is a bit desperate and out of ideas? you could perhaps recomend her some, i wont do cc personally tho some do, but there are 'no cry sleep method' etc or maybe tell her she could ask her hv for advice, some areas have 'sleep clinics' that offer help and support as well.

i wouldnt be comfortable knowing that a young child was being ignored all night, but not much you can do now that she has told you.

Original poster
HalleysWaitress · 19/11/2011 21:11
  1. don't plan to do anything - as you say none of my business - just interested in others reponses.
  1. didn't want to call it CIO/CC as they are weighted terms but yes i suppose thats what it is.
  1. she wasn't joking.
OP posts:
4madboys · 19/11/2011 21:14

well my response would be that i think it is a cruel and horrible thing to do, but i wouldnt actually say that to someone, but if they mentioned to me they were having issues and seemed like they wanted advice i would recomend that they look into alternative to cc or cio as i think they are wrong, but equally i wouldnt tell someone not to do it, more that i personally cant/wont do it with my children.

RitaMorgan · 19/11/2011 21:17

Well, if this child is a toddler nearing 2 then it doesn't strike me as the same as leaving a baby to CIO.

MollyintheMoon · 19/11/2011 21:21

I don't understand. If you know that CIO/CC are weighted terms then why ask the question? Confused

fit2drop · 19/11/2011 21:22

Hmm so baby is crying it out! How would they know baby cries all night if they have earplugs in?
Bloody dangerous idea, too many what ifs involved , especially with a 2 yr old that is mobile.
However thats just my opinion .

nailak · 19/11/2011 21:23

Does she cry all night or just sit and sing to herself /play with toys?

Original poster
HalleysWaitress · 19/11/2011 21:24

i suppose i thought terming it cio is accusing. wouldn't want to divulge more and identify anyone in real life - not fair.

i was completely stunned by the admission. still am

OP posts:
Original poster
HalleysWaitress · 19/11/2011 21:25

baby is around 12 months - sorry thats quite a bit younger than dd oops

OP posts:
Dialsmavis · 19/11/2011 21:28

Sorry but any ear plugs I have tried do not block out a baby crying, I wear them sometimes (not to block out DD crying I hasten to add) but hear her if she cries and we sleep on a different floor to her.

How often does the child wake up per night? and for how long? upset or just awake? they all change the situation and the judgement I would give.

FunnysInTheGarden · 19/11/2011 21:29

sounds very unlikely. I am a CC/CIO type and would never ignore a child who was crying all night. Inflammatory OP IMO

Dialsmavis · 19/11/2011 21:30

My DD loves to scream in her sleep, is the baby actually waking up? surely if they were doing CIO it would only be for a few days anyway? I thought it was meant to work within a week?

Original poster
HalleysWaitress · 19/11/2011 21:37

dial - yeh thats my understanding of cio/cc - another reason i didnt cite this as that.

not intentionally inflammatory but can see why it looks that way. just well..astonished!

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 19/11/2011 21:47

Nasty. Them, not you.

NinkyNonker · 19/11/2011 21:48

I don't think your OP was inflammatory, certainly not as much as mine would be. I think you tried v hard to not be so.

Original poster
HalleysWaitress · 19/11/2011 21:59

ninky - ta

am bloody horrified obviously!

OP posts:
vess · 19/11/2011 22:00

Presonally I think it's cruel. Bad parenting.
Also, what about if the child is sick, has just vomited or needs help for some other reason? Irresponsible, IMO.

JockTamsonsBairns · 19/11/2011 22:11

I wish people would stop confusing CC with CIO. What the OP is describing is a baby which is being left to cry, therefore bearing no resemblance to the sleep training method which is CC. Completely different approaches.

practicallyimperfect · 19/11/2011 22:16

I wear earplugs but still hear ds. What I don't hear is my husbands snoring, teeth grinding and mouth smacking. I have used all sorts and none of them block it out totally.