to expect middle-aged men to be able to go out and not do the following......

[AtYourCevix]

a. lose their friends

b. get on the wrong train.

c. get on the wrong train, with their friends ticket, leaving said friend at the station.

d. take their mobile with them so they can deal with it themselves.

e. book into a b&b and not come home and irritate me.

f. not come home and get all uppity and arsy about nothing and irritate me even more (which hasn't yet happened but if it does I swear this may end in divorce).

If I were you, and if I were not an alcoholic in recovery, I would have hit the wine the moment I heard of the dilemma just so they couldn't have called on my services to drive

They do have taxis in rural places, don't they?

Can I add some requests to your list?

• that middle aged men do not try and "keep up" with their younger colleagues when out on a work's do.

• they then do not come home with a stupid red wine grin on their face and promptly throw up - disturbing my telly viewing.

• they then do not get up to go to the bathroom in the night, fall down the stairs and break their finger.

I thank you

Men can be so unbelievably dumb when they get together in a group...like lost children.
And lunch time is always a bad time to drink because by tea time they've really had enough and are on a grumpy comedown by the time they come home. Oh joy.

Can I add

*piss in the wardobe

Thank you

I think I'm
Just jealous
If I drink in the day I get a migraine by six
I'd rather get pissed of an evening and sleep it off old gimmer

ad another thing.

why was stupid dickhead carrying second stupid dickhead's train ticket?

srely grown-ups carry their own ticket?

Was it your DH that ate the pizza last time?

I take it I should be glad that my d middle-aged h came home from a works do sometime before 3am and apart from spending half the day out of my hair in bed hasn't done anything twattish that I know of And anyway I'm off now with a couple of female friends for dinner so don't care if he spends rest of night on sofa

YANBU. My DH would never come in drunk and collapse 2 feet from the bedroom door, having made it all the way to that point. Or leave his keys on the table at the pub, not realising until he got home (before we lived together, admittedly), poor friend who gave him a lift had to go all the way back to the pub then back again.

BTW, is your name spelt wrongly deliberately?

BarkisisWillin, I love your name, tried to get it but you'd nabbed it first.

do middle aged men have skills that other men don't???!!!!

get pissed in revenge

never noticed i'd speled it wrong

and yes tiaras. the pizza incident was last time. DD will never get over it.

better?

he has until 8 to get home before i hit the [beer] or [baileys]

YANBU, the thing that drives me fucking insane about DH going out is i get a running commentary all night of what is happening and when anything goes wrong and it always does, i am phoned at 2am to sort it out. I now switch of my phone because otherwise i'm like a bear with a sore head the next day.

stupid nobber dh is back with no further fuckwittery.

he has fucked straight off to bed and not eated dd2s pizza (praise the lord)

and now i can have [beer]

so he has redeemed himself and not acted quite as nobbishly as expected.

I remember the pizza incident. My advice was leave the bastard
Could you possibly take up the cymbals or some other irritating instrument and start practising at 5am?

thats an idea. i do have a violin.

Everyone loves music first thing on a Sunday morning
Also out of tune singing at full volume.

Or rub deep heat into his underwear

Leave the fucker!:o

Hoover out, banging it against door, early morning

Pluck his leg hairs individually.

but he's behaved this time (apart from dumping his mate witot a ticket) so i don't feel justified in leaving him.

mumblechum1 - thanks . It took me ages to think of a name! David Copperfield was a favourite childhood book!