Sensible or hysterical?

[AScatteringofPoorSardines]

DH has just taken DD and DS (5&7yo) out on the bike. The 7 yo is on his own bike attached to DHs by one of those arm things which keeps the front wheel off the ground, and DD is in front of him on a fixed seat on the crossbar.

It is a lovely thing for him to do, he doesn't get much time off and they love to go off on a little adventure with him.

Usually, he goes to some fields nearby with a cycle path through them, there is a bit of roadwork, but it is all in the village. The bike is long and with DD on the front is quite awkward, although DH is a very experienced rider.

Today however, as he was leaving, he mentioned going somewhere else. This would mean cycling along the fairly narrow pavement next to a busy and fast A road, crossing it, then along a single track but busy road used as a cut through, and finally along a country lane just about wide enough for two cars, which is quite busy and fast as it is the quickest route from a big town to several villages.

I said I would really rather he didn't go out there on the big long bike, and that if he waited I would come so that DD could be in the child seat on the back of my bike and his would be more stable. TBH I still would be uncomfortable with this, but I knew that he would think I was being silly for worrying about it. He didn't want to do that and said I was letting my fears ruin their fun and he was going where he wanted.

I said I felt he was disregarding how I felt about it by overruling me like that, but he turned that back to me in that I was disregarding his feelings by being so determined in not wanting them to go.

He cycled off, saying he was going to the place he had mentioned. I knew he was stopping at the shop down the road so caught up with them and said again that I would come. We didn't argue, but he said he didn't want me to and they would just do what I wanted then in a grumpy voice and cycled off.

I have no idea if he will stick to that or not, but that's kind of beside the point because I don't know if I am justified in even wanting to stop him, but I kind of think why take the risk when there are lovely places that the children asked to go to nearby?

So, what do you think? I don't know who is right. Am I being overly scared by not wanting him to take the children on this 'bike train' on the busy roads even only for a couple of miles? I know I am always the one out of the two of us with the fears iykwim, so it's possible.
Or is he being unreasonably flippant about the potential dangers?

My DH wouldn't have both attached. He would take the 5 year old on her seat and the 7 year old on his own bike...your DH should not have had BOTH on his bike at once.

Impossible to tell as I don't know the roads, but you do come across as a bit of a nervous nelly to me tbh, but at lesat you are aware of it. If I were you I'd trust him a bit more especially as the kids get older, they do need some risk in their lives.

why take the risk? sounds very stressfull can't they have there own bike and ride somewhere peaceful. you sound like someone who stresses alot though and be very anxious.

DH is a confident cyclist, but I would be nervous of him going on a journey like that with such a heavily-loaded, hard to manoeuvre bike. It's about the car drivers rather than his cycling.

For example, I got knocked off my bike on a similar country road by some twat pulling a caravan, who couldn't wait for a safe overtaking space so decided to squeeze past, the caravan sideswiped me into the hedge. Luckily I was fine, just scratched and leafy. And very angry.

arion - This made me think of that burns thread as well.

There is a Mum at DCs school, who has a double tag-a-long thing (as in 2 children are on it behind her) and a crossbar bike seat. So she regularly cycles to and from school, cycling along a main road for some of it, with 3 children attached to her bike. All the other parents I have spoken to, admire her for this, and how sensible her children are using it.

FWIW, my 7 year old can't ride his bike, not without stabilisers anyway!