to post a quick update about reporting abuse (from last night) ...

[misty0]

My thread from last night has disappeared

Re: my DDs best friend with abusive father.

First i want to say i am so glad i asked for help here and found everyone's input so valuable. Thank you all who posted. I'm posting this as many of you were very concerned and wanted an update.

I did phone the police this morning and an officer came round this afternoon and took a full report. He reasured me that the correct people will be informed and look into this straight away and get help for the child (and her mother). He said they will approach this with great sensitivity and is hopefull that my DD and this girl's close friendship will not be damaged in the fall out. His personal advice was not to tell DD i've made the report.

I felt awful "going behind my DD and her friend's back" - but i know it was for all the right reasons.

Thanks again AIBU ladies.

Well done for helping this child

Well done, you have done a very good thing there.

I was thinking about you earlier and wondered what you decided. It is tricky to feel you are deceiving your daughter, but it's for the best in the long run and I'm sure she will understand this when/if it does all come out.

Really pleased you acted on it today, and hope you feel better for doing so.

Did they give any incling on what the next step for them to do would be?

Lets hope something is done sharpish.

Hope things work out well for x and your dd and this doesn't come between them.

Well done, misty.

You have done a very, very good thing.

You can tell DD one day, just not yet.

Wasnt looking for praise, just wanted to update to ease your minds. But thank you all anyway Got a bit tearful about it all earlier today. But i'm an emotional wreck at the best of times at the mo'.

Anyway when the officer arrived he said at the outset that although he was trained and qualified to take my report and pass it on to the right people, he didnt know the exact procedure that would be used to contact the family, and couldnt tell me in any detail what would happen. He asured me that it would be acted upon though, as it all clearly seemed to be slipping into more serious abuse.

I dont think anyone could fail to hear alarm bells ringing.

I told him the father is away this week - he said this would be a perfect time to step in, as the pressure is off X a little at the moment.

He said that there probably wouldnt be any official follow up for me. I said thats fine - i just wanted to know someone would be helping her. He said he hopped DD and X would stay friends and in that way i'd find out what happens through DD. He did add that if its handled correctly the source of the info SS actually acts upon neednt be obvious ..... a neighbour could have heard the rows and reported them, an Uncle or Aunt may have noticed probs in the mariage and gone for help, a teacher may have noticed X's grades slipping or her general unhapiness and contacted SS, ect.

However i do feel like i'm walking round with a big neon sign over my head saying "It was me!"

Lets all pray this little girls life gets happier now anyway.

PS:

Mumsnet i'm a little hurt that you pulled my thread as suspected trolling - i've been posting regularly on a thread in a support group on MN for the last 7 months for goodness sake :(

I read AIBU all the time - dont post here alot, always miss the famous trolls. Cant believe i even missed it when i was being called one as i went to bed after my last post!

What's a troll?

Well done OP!

I think they pulled it due to trolling accusations rather than them suspecting you were a troll, misty...

I know you weren't looking for praise, but you still deserve it

it is here Misty

Haha, shows how much I know

Well done btw!

misty I didn't post on your thread yesterday but I did read it. You deserve praise indeed. Knowing what the right thing is to do and actually acting on it can be very hard. However by doing so you will have begun a huge and positive change for this girl and her mum.