to not let other kids take my babies toys?

[skgnome]

I have a 10 month old DD who I take to playgroup, normally she's fine playing with other kids and she has learned to share the toys there, and when an older kid comes to try to take a toy she's playing with she's pretty good at keeping the toys and the other moms are good at telling their kids to not take babies toys, and I tell her to share, so I don't mind, but yesterday she was trying to walk pushing a car (she just started cruising) so I was a bit careful with her and this older kid (around 3) came and tried to take the car off her, as I said normally I wouldn't mind but she was using it for support and the mom was just chating and just looked and continued on her chat, so I just had to put my hand on the car to make sure she keept it

I know it's not the kids fault, but I felt a bit rotten at not letting him play, but also I didn't wanted to take her off it so he could play, and I'm a bit angry that his mom didn't even pretened to tell him not to

That is sort of the nature of a playgroup, I thought? They're supposed to be playing together. And they're not her toys, they're the playgroups toys, so I think YABU.

oh lord another playgroup thread. if it bothers you stay at home. kids will be kids and parents cant keep an eye on their kids ALL the time isnt play groups about mums meeting other mums too? perhaps wait til she is a bit hardier and your not so sensitive.

meant to add also that the toys arent her toys they belong to the playgroup!

yanbu, can't believe anyone said different (did I read a different OP? ). Because nobody should be taking items off her. Of course you gently stand up for her, it's part of socialising everybody to take turns.

If she's playing with something & leaves it completely to do something else then of course fair game to let others have that item, else tots have to wait for others to finish. No snatching, etc.

If the other mother 'looked', perhaps she saw that you were dealing with the matter and there was no need for her to interfere?

The pushing a car is an awkward one, assuming it's one that you can ride on too. Dd1 loved pushing the cars round, but didn't want to ride them, so I know how it goes.
At that age they look, see no child on the seat and think it's available for theirs for the taking, because, to them, they use it by sitting on it.

What I'd have done was tell the other child that your child's only just got it, and they can play with it for 5 minutes, then, if he comes back, he can have it. And then time it, give your dd a warning of 30 seconds "nearly time" and then pass it to him and distract your dd with something else.

Ime the ride on cars are usually fairly popular, and so you do have to pass them on to the next child when your dc has had a reasonable go. In one group I went the rule was 10 minutes if there was anyone waiting. That worked very well because they all grew to know it and made very little fuss about passing it on.

This happens all the time at playgroups; mums are busy chatting and sometimes don't notice exactly what has transpired. It's sort of the nature of the beast; you have to be willing to deal with the snatchers diplomatically or not go at all.

I see the point people are making about kids being kids, but they do need to be corrected when they do something wrong. (They're kids...geddit?)

I get annoyed too and I have a very...ahem..lively child of three who I spend most of playgroup correcting.

It's not a huge thing but it is annoying when people see their children misbehaving and do nothing.

All you can do is smile sweetly and defend your childs right to the toy until she's old enough to do it herself. Also remember how this felt in two years when your child is the one doing the grabbing!

And yes, it is the playgroups toy but she had it first, no.1 rule I try to teach my kids, you don't take toys from other kids...

No way would I let any 3yo of MINE take a ride-on car off a 10mo baby at a playgroup! In fact, I won't let 9mo DS3 take a rattle of another dc at baby group - it's just teaching them good manners not to snatch. If they do it once, the toy gets taken away and given back to the original player with a warning not to do it again. Second time, a firm 'NO' and toy returned again, my dc moved, a warning, and distraction tried. A third time, and they will either be leaving playgroup or put in their pushchair.

My biggest rule with young dc is YOU DON'T SNATCH FROM ANOTHER DC. So I would be BEYOND if someone else's 3yo did it to my 9mo and didn't admonish their dc. In fact - I WOULD say something to them.

It's so unimportant. It's not nice to have to relinquish control of a car at playgroup, but not worth fretting about the day after.

When it happens, try to tell the grabber that they'll have to wait a moment. If they don't listen and their parent doesn't step in, say 'Well that wasn't very kind' to the grabber and your child. You can't let these everyday things prey on your mind.

YANBU, they should not snatch toys from other children or babies. Perfectly ok to tell them (kindly) to wait for their turn.

One mum at my playgroup (who is kind of a cow in general) watched her son (2 and a half I guess) take a toy off my dd (9 months old).

So she says "no, we don't take toys from the babies we ask for them.." so she hands the toy back to my dd and then says "Can Petey have the toy?" and then her kid snatches the toy off dd again... who obviously didn't answer as she is a baby and is looking confused as she now has had her toy stolen twice. So obnoxious cow mom then says "Oh good boy Petey, always remember to ask"

You can't ask a baby for a toy, it's not like she can ever say no FFS