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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have only just found out I had a vertical tear during a C section 3 yrs ago?

13 replies

froggers1 · 17/11/2011 08:13

Hi - I am 17 weeks pregnant with DC2 and saw the specialist midwife yesterday as I had an EMCS last time. According to my notes I tore vertically when they cut me open horizontally. This means I cannot attempt a VBAC. No one told me last time and my recovery was very very slow and I thought I was being such a wimp as was in pain a lot longer than 6 weeks. I didn't have much help beyond the 2 weeks paternity leave but if we had known my mum would have come to stay. Am I being unreasonable to be angry with the hospital? Also, up until now I thought I would be able to try for a VBAC. The midwife was quite amazed that I hadn't known...

OP posts:
CuriosityCola · 17/11/2011 08:41

I'm a little lost for words about this and Angry for you. I think a letter of complaint should be sent. Is this a common complication?

Congratulations on your second pregnancy. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly, even if you don't get the birth you wanted.

Original poster
froggers1 · 17/11/2011 10:39

Thanks! That's what I thought. I will definately be bringing it up when I see the consultant next week. I don't think its a common complication but it does happen. But to have known would have helped me enormously. I would have got more help from family and friends and been a little easier on myself!!

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valiumredhead · 17/11/2011 12:19

Firstly congrats! :)

I am a bit confused as to why your family would need it written on your notes before coming to help. Surely if you needed help they would've come and not asked to see notes stating you had torn vertically?

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 12:21

My family would only offer help in line with how much help I "officially" needed - it's not that unusual.

I am really Angry for you OP, that's just awful.

Original poster
froggers1 · 17/11/2011 12:30

Hi - maybe I wasn't clear! Obviously my family helped as much as they could but 3 years ago my mum and dad both worked full time and my in-laws are in NZ. My mum would have taken time off work if she realised it was worse than a 'normal' C section. She did come as much as she could - took some afternoons off etc but she worked in a school so not that easy. I think she would have felt more justified with the knowledge. Also, when it is your first baby you are not sure what is normal and not in terms of pain and tiredness etc.
This time will be better as she has now retired...

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Moominsarescary · 17/11/2011 12:46

Hi the same happened to me, although I knew the cut vertically and that I wouldn't be able to have a vbac, they realy should have told you. I came home with a letter that explained it all

scaryhairydroopytits · 17/11/2011 13:41

I also tore vertically. Reading this is the first time my suspicions re not being allowed a vbac in any future pregnancy have been confirmed. I asked the midwife who came for birth reflection session specifically about this and she told me she didn't know. Also, so grateful you have mentioned extra pain/ recovery time. I still get pain 8 months on and feel a wimp in comparison to other friends who had elcs. Despite birthing 9lb2 ds1 with no pain relief, the birth of ds2 was a medically mismanaged fucking disaster. My mother never came to help at all, even when ds2 was in icu with bronchiolitis at 11 days old, I had a wound infection and ds1 was going nuts with the trauma of it all.

Original poster
froggers1 · 17/11/2011 14:15

Scaryhairydroopytits (love the name by the way!). So sorry. Sounds like it was a nightmare for you. I fully sympathise with feeling like a wimp. I had a friend who also had an ELCS just before me and she kept saying 'but you should be able to walk to the high street by now etc' and was off painkillers a lot quicker than me. But I never knew why...i will categorically not be having anymore kids...!!

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Chulita · 17/11/2011 16:08

YABU, you most definitely should have been told.

As far as I know I didn't tear vertically, but had emcs with DD and had severe pain for months, wasn't pain-free for 10 months. Walking hurt, pushing trolleys was impossible, carrying DD hurt etc and all I got from people was "it shouldn't still be hurting, my sister's friend ran a marathon 8 weeks after a cs" and other helpful comments.
DS was another emcs but a much shorter labour and I recovered much quicker, we moved house when he was 10 weeks and I don't remember being crippled with pain. Elcs for the next one so fingers crossed for even quicker recovery.

Chulita · 17/11/2011 17:19

Sorry, YANBU, missed out that crucial 'N' Blush

Original poster
froggers1 · 17/11/2011 20:28

Chulita - good luck. I am told that Elcs are much quicker recovery. I guess cos you haven't gone through labour too...I was in labour for hours with 2 hours of pushing before the C section. This time that won't be happening so fingers crossed for both of us!

OP posts:
scaryhairydroopytits · 18/11/2011 00:13

Oh froggers me too, 69 hour labour and two hours of pushing (with no pain relief) before they realised he was face to cervix and not coming out. It was an unneccesary induction that with hindsight I was completely bullied in to. No wonder it was harder to recover from than the turn up well rested at 8, baby in arms by 9.30 jobs that my elcs friends had. Good luck with the new baby.

Original poster
froggers1 · 18/11/2011 08:01

So true Scary! In a weird way looking forward to the in at 9 am, baby in arms a few hours later just to see if its true that its easier!!

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