CSA and arrears

[sadfamily]

Ex hasn't seen ds since his 3rd birthday. Took us to court twice for access but never stuck to it.

Ds is 10 soon, happy n calls my Dh daddy. He has never even had so much as a birthday card off ex. I did move 200 miles away 5 years ago but he has our address and phone numbers but hasnt bothered. I have never chased or asked him for money. We had £5 through CSA in may 09 and another £5 in feb 11! That's it.

After a letter from CSA telling me ex would have to pay 38 a week from apr 11. I contacted the CSA and was told arrears have been calculated now n payments of 60 a week will start at beg of dec.

As far as I'm aware he is married now n they have 2 other children. We do generally struggle money wise but we manage. From a bit of digging they have 2/3 holidays abroad each year. 2006 was our last holiday.

But 60 a week seems alot to me. Would I be mad to ask them to reduce it a bit? 20 odd is usual payment but they are deducting 60 to pay off arrears 60 total not as well as!)

We could really use it ATM tbh with lots of extra hospital appts for ds"s special needs.

Although if I'm honest I think he wi now quit his job so he doesn't have to pay :( he tried to dispute arrears (2500 for 6years seems low to me) and wouldn't agree on paying it back do they will deduct from his wages

Not mad (although amazingly understanding) but you'd probably be wasting your time. The fact that the increased amount makes it even less likely you'll get any money at all out of your ex is of no concern whatsoever to the CSA. They have targets to meet.

Thanks I have no idea how CSA work. Lady on the phone told me she had spoken to ex ten mins prior to her calling me and he was angry. I've now got his wife bad mouthing me to anyone that will listen. It's a small close not town where I used to live and I still have family there. Just doesn't seem worth the hassle

The CSA tears families apart. My advice is that if you feel you don't need the money then steer well clear. It could result in real harm to the relationship between your ex and your DS (although it doesn't sound like there is much of one sadly).

Unfortunately I speak from bitter experience. The CSA was set up not to help the children of separated parents but to reclaim benefit money for the Government. Their core "values" have not changed.

His kid, he should pay end of story!

Gaelicsheep - there is no relationship at all. Ex doesn't bother despite my efforts to keep the relationship going. We took fathers day gifts down back in 2005 and he had moved house. Haven't seen him since!

The money would be a massive help ATM x