Academics using 'Dr' - wankerish?

[RevoltingPeasant]

On the day I got my PhD, the first thing my mum said to me when I rang to say I'd passed was, 'Oh, I do hope you won't call yourself Dr, it's so pretentious...

...and congratulations!'

Anywho, I never get called Dr except on my office door and in rejection letters from journals. But I think most academics do use it in civilian life. I kinda want to. Does this make me a smug git, especially because my subject specialism is in something entirely useless to humanity literature?

Not smug, not pretention. I use mine - I earnt it.
I use it within work and have some bank accounts using it.
I dont introduce myself as Dr Hiltonbees unless it is someone related to work.

if i had a PHD i would want everything dressed as me to say Dr. i never understood why consultants were called Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms if i had worked my way up to be a consultant i would want to be the right honourable lady or something. ( i do know its traditional from when barbers were surgeons or something but you would think time would move on considering the hell of a lot more work/training involved)

Of course it isn't pretentious. You're not pretending.

MCos, do you think someone who uses 'Mrs' should also use it sparingly, and keep it marriage related?

I use Dr as my official title, but in school (teacher) I don't make the students use it

So all letters, bank stuff, pay slips, etc as well as me signing anything official is aways Dr, but in school it's 'Miss!' (which is actually wrong as well, as I am married!)

Love having a reason to skip 'Mrs':never, ever use this, just feels all wrong.

What's the consensus on postal etiquette? Should a female doctor and a Mr be Dr & Mr or Mr & Dr?

We're both Dr, but with different surnames. DH gets to go first because of alphabetical order.

And then if you get married after your PhD you could have endless fun with two entirely different names.

"Oh, you're Miss X?" "No actually, I'm Dr X or Mrs Y"

We used to call some of our teachers at school Dr, it was quite common. Only in science and maths though. I've no idea whether other subject teachers had them and just didn't use the title.

I think it's the system that's wankerish.

Men are Mr (or Dr) and aren't particularly expected to change their names when they get married.

When I got married I didn't change my name and I didn't take the title 'Mrs'; I had a PhD but was comfortable with 'Ms' - and my MiL's head nearly exploded with the horror of it all and she actually defaulted to addressing me as 'Mrs Married Name'.

In the end I had to point out that I couldn't collect any mail from the sorting office e.g. Christmas presents because that wasn't my name.

After her darling son fucked off and left us she managed to call me by me proper name for the first time in her life, presumably to put as much distance between me and her fucking issues as possible.

I think the correct etiquette is 'Dr and Mr' because the higher title should come first. But I wouldn't bet my jellybabies on it.

that would be great if it is kladdkaka

then maybe MIL wouldn't address things to Mr and Mrs DH initial, DHs surname. What's the etiquette when you have different surnames anyway?

Just found this

Couples who live together receive a single invitation. Address it the same way you?d address the invitation of a married couple with different last names?alphabetically, on separate lines of the envelope

Address an invitation to a married couple, both doctors like this: The Doctors Smith. It?s that simple. If they are married, but have different last names, list both names in alphabetical order (on separate lines): Dr. Benton, and on the next line, Dr. Smith

Married couple, one a doctor: the spouse with the professional title is listed first. Dr. Kate Lawler and Mr. Brian Lawler or Dr. and Mr. Lawler

Using DR in your professional life and personal business isn't wankerish.

However attending a wedding and demanding to know why Dr wasn't used on the seating plan, or sending post back/moaning that post wasn't correctly labelled 'Dr' when it's a personal card (think Christmas) is completely over the top twattish behaviour. Hence why DH and I no longer talk to this woman.

FWIW, this particular 'academic' was one of several doctors/PhD holding people at our wedding and was the only one to behave in such a manner, and had to tell anyone who'd listen about her credentials. Completely backfired and most people thought she was batshit bonkers and were actually amazed that she achieved A levels let alone a PHD.

Use Dr all means, as you've earnt it but don't shove it in others faces (unless work related as different rules apply).

Reindeer, I agree with you - that woman is simply a wanker.

But about women who make a fuss about being called 'Miss' or 'Mrs'?

I tend to respect that LineRunner, at least I can appreciate the sentiment/argument behind it.

Personally I always use Ms in my professional life (well in my old life) as I don't think your marital status is relevant in the workplace. But I will happily respect most womens specification on this point.

Actually, I didn't use Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss on our table plans either, just first name and surname, As I wanted to avoid that whole thing. The smug academic just wanted everyone to know how special she was. frickin weirdo more like

I think the correct etiquette is 'Dr and Mr' because the higher title should come first
The implication of that is that Mr is considered a higher title than Mrs

ReindeerBollocks

Seems like you and I have had similar experiences however your wedding tale is particularly nauseating. How can people can become like that?

In my case: yes I use Dr in all official correspondence, including banks, as I find I get fewer instances of condescension, but I'd be thoroughly ashamed of myself if I ever got so grand as to insist on being Dr reshetima if someone called me Mrs instead. I'm just as proud that someone actually agreed to marry me (!) as that I've achieved academic success. Surely the higher you progress in your career the less you need external validation?

I take a certain amount of pleasure when answering the phone to a request to speak to "Dr AutumnWitch" with "which one?"

The discomfort of the caller suggests that they were expecting me to hand the phone to DH.

Witch - yes, I think I mentioned similar. Though in my case I don't usually bother nowadays as it nearly always is for him - I'm such a backroom type most of my colleagues probably don't know I exist, let alone outsiders, and he gets some fairly serious bods calling him.

why is it pretentious for someone with a doctorate to be called doctor. Medical doctors use the title doctor despite not actually having the title, or doctorates. It seems odd that someone can scrape through five years of medical school just passing by the skin of their teeth and it is OK to call them doctor. Whereas to get a PhD one has to do a three year degree and do well in it, a masters normally involving original research and again do well, then at least three years of orginal research with several publications, yet they are the ones being pretntious if they are called doctor?

(Don't think doing a masters before PhD is the norm - wasn't in my day. )

maighdilin,
If you are a medical doctor it is considered more prestigious to be called Mr/Mrs/Ms.

Really Grimma? Are you a scientist? In the arts these days you do an undergrad, MA or MRes or similar, and then PhD. Can't get onto a PhD without a masters.

Though I know some in sciences you can do a 'fourth year' of your BSc, come out with an MSc and then go straight to doctoral work - is that what you mean?