To want my mum to make more of an effort

[GraciousLife]

(I live with my mum)

I'm in a new relationship, been together 5 weeks. My mum has met the guy once. She is single, has no friends, basically she doesn't go out unless I take her out (she isn't elderly, in her early 50's but has health problems). I brought new boyfriend round to meet her about 2 weeks after we met, we sat in lounge, talked for few minutes, then mum decided she was going on her computer in her bedroom. Few minutes later she calls me into her bedroom, tells me she was watching TV in lounge and can me and new boyfriend go into my bedroom. This would be awkward for all 3 of us involved - I have no TV in my bedroom. I know boyfriend would not have been comfortable with going in my room like that. So I told mum I'd take boyfriend out again. Boyfriend now thinks mum doesn't like him. she does, she just not comfortable around people she doesnt know.

He is coming again on Thursday, spending the afternoon at mine, mum will be home. I'm so nervous this is going to be awkward. How can I make this less awkward???

If you are your mums carer, then you will have to explain this to your BF.

If you are now thinking about getting into a relationship then it might be worth getting a television in your bedroom.

If this doesn't apply then this is one on the 'cons' of still being at home. Why can you not go to his?

Hi thanks for replying. I'm not my mums carer and there is no room for a TV in my bedroom.

I go to his house 3 or 4 times a week, his mum his wonderful, he lives an hour on the train away though and it's costing me loads to get to him, so it would be nice for him to be able to come here too :)

How old are you? Perhaps it is time to think about moving out and getting a place of your own or sharing with friends.

I am 24, unemployed right now so can't move out yet. I will be doing so next year :)

I dont suppose you have a 3rd bedroom to turn into a 'lounge' for you an your guests?

Well she's not going to get to know him if she doesn't talk to him! Why don't you cook a meal for the three of you then she'll have to be sociable :-)

I do think bringing him around often isn't on though, as your mum is ill and clearly needs her personal space.

Or if it's in the afternoon go out to a museum or for a walk or something. There's heaps of free stuff you could do. Hanging around with a date at home with my mum wouldn't strike me as particularly romantic.