If you ask someone can they change plans that were already made

[fluffystabby]

And ask "if that's OK with you"

Is it unreasonable for the other person to say "Actually that's not OK it doesn't suit me can we stick to the original plan"?

steady on, pet

i second that pigletJohn maybe its not too early for you don't have to drive today do you fluffy don't get upset and sod others who don't appear to be reading your posts.

Hug?

I;ve just had it. Really had it,.

I have to drive later to pick DD1 up from school so is not an option/

Why is this place like this? I thought it was supposed to be supportive, even in AIBU.

The point is that he changes times to suit him, and I don't have the right to say no stick to what he fucking wanted in the first place not that I won't let an expensive keyboard be left ina bin or let DD2 wear trainers that are really too small because he has her decent ones which I bogut.

And I offered a number of times to go and get the stuff he's not goingout of his way.
And my spelling has gone to shit coz my hands are shaking

Deep breaths, cup of tea and caaaaaaaaaaaaaaalm :)

Can you go out for some fresh air ? Fresh air helps me loads when I am fuming.

oh fluffy i really feel for you, but tbh theres not a lot you can do, this place can be shit sometimes and it's not what you need but tbh you know YANBU, nobody should be able to dictate like that and it's a pain you have to put up with it as otherwise it will be detrimental to your dc's

i feel for ya i really do

p.s my kids always have 2 pairs of everything, i dont find that that strange

Fluffy, there has been some good advice and support here so please don't let this get to you. Your ex has been an arsehole, no doubt, and you will learn through MN how to handle him!

LEAVE THE FUCKER!!!!!!

Oh, you already have

I'm done with explaining myself.

some of the stuff should/could have gone with the kids (like the trainers) but he told them to leave them as he was dropping the keyboard down and he'd drop them off.

then he forgot and he didn't.

So I texted him to say I'd call up and lift the stuff.

He said no he'd drop it to me between 5 and 6

I phoned him at about 5.20 to say don't forget the trainers because DD2 couldn't remember if she'd left them at the front door for him to lift.

then he said

"Actually I won't be at yours until about 6.30-7pm if that's OK"

Me - "No actually it's not I have to scoot out about 6.30 so that doesn't suit me could we"

And he cut right across me didn't let me finish and said

"Look I'm on another call on my mobile here I don't have time to talk to you I'll be at yours at 6.30"

And put the farking phone down.

That is the point of the AIBU. Not whether a keyboard should be left in a bin or DD2 has 3 pairs of trainers that sort of kind of fit. He offered in the first place because he insisted on having the keyboard there for DD1 to practice and he said he'd drop it down when he was virtually driving past my front door to go into town for a meeting.

How can some of the posters on here not see that that's the point of the AIBU - is it fair of him to change times without consulting me or taking my wishes into account.

Oh and for the record, we had agreed how to deal with it all, 2rebecca, I'd actually agreed to what he wanted in the first place, he changed the plans.

Perhaps the internet isn't he place to be when you are feeling so angry/upset?

2rebecca, are you seriously suggesting the DDs possessions get left in a bin on the street? Or that she could knock on a random neighbour's door and ask them to drive to her ex's house to pick up stuff that he'd forgotten to send?

Really that someone would read this and come to the conclusion that this situation is caused OPs failure to do such bizarre things (or by her daughter having too many shoes ), rather than by her ex being a rude inconsiderate cock!

Don't worry Valium. I have asked MN to delete my account.

I realise that MN is not always the helpful supportive place it is portrayed to be.

send him a solicitor's letter stating what he is supposed to be bringing you and when you expect it.

there's nothing wrong with venting on here, but there's not a lot we can do :(

oh, YANBU.

Nickelbabe - under the terms of the separation agreement, he's not supposed to change the plans or be more than a half hour late without my agreement.

It's not worth the paper it's written on

Only one poster disagreed with you OP - bit of an over reaction to delete your account, just don't post in AIBU next time

ah. :(

It's the same on here every time valium. And I'm done with it. Not just in AIBU but all over, posters taking positions just to get up the nose of other people, or deliberately misunderstanding or misreading an OP

MN is supposed to be supportive of parents and it isn't always. Quite a lot of the time it really really isn't. And it may be fine for lots of other people, and it may be where they want to be and how they want to behave. but it isn't for me.

I understand how you feel

there are a lot of decent people here though.

Oh fluffy please don't take 2rebeccas post to heart. Most of us agree with you that your xp is a cunt of the highest order. But it's all about control, and about upsetting you, so he's achieved that hasn't he? Be strong sweetie, and don't let the bastard get to you. Pick your battles.