Brief background: divorced from XH 10 years ago. 2 DC, never one penny from XH towards them, has even evaded CSA. I always kept on good terms with XH widowed father in spite of the divorce (because I cared about him, he was good to me and he was DCs grandfather), over the years wrote him many letters, sent photos, occasional phone calls, etc. He is/was in a far away country.
About five years ago he told me he had disowned XH, because of all the bad things he had done (no argument there) and that he had left his son's share (my XH) of his estate to my DC instead, skipping over the generation of his own son.
Sadly my XFIL has died two weeks ago. XH brother kept me informed, I sent a tribute from me and DC to the funeral; XH wasn't even informed his father died. My DS had to tell him.
Now, can I ask XH brother about the will? I don't want to seem grasping, and for me the most important thing is grieving my XFIL, and I absolutely want to respect that for all the family. But if he did go ahead with what he said 5 yrs ago, this would be a massive help to me and the DC now, so I would like to know. But I can't think how it would be appropriate to ask. It hasn't been mentioned... but maybe that's because DXBIL who IS the executor is still grieving and hasn't started to deal with this yet. Could the delay be because XH brother does not want me to know (this would not totally surprise me)?
WWYD? I am really in a dilemma.