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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not buy the Christmas present I was asked for?

14 replies

Aworryingtrend · 15/11/2011 11:56

I have a friend who, TBH, I am no longer very close to, and I am trying to distance myself from her. Nothing major has happened, however she is very negative/judgemental about life in general, which is rather wearing.

Anyway we met up last week to go shopping. As we were in one shop, friend asks me what I would like for Christmas. I iniitally said, ooh, I don't know, surprise me! However she pushed to know what I would like so off the top of my head I said I could do with some more pyjamas. I specifically said "Nothing flash though, I normally just get ones from Matalan". I said this as friend is single and has a large mortgage so I know some months are a struggle for her. She said "Why don't you choose some whilst we are here?" I specifically chose one of the cheapest pairs, at £16, which she then purchased.

I then asked her what she would like for Christmas (I felt obliged to ask as she had asked me) and she said she would like...a very specific limited edition new perfume. We saw it in boots and it was £40, to which she said "oh I'm sure you can get it cheaper online". I have looked at it is only marginally cheaper. I really do not want to purchase this perfume now as a) it is more than we would generally spend on each other- £20 max in the past and b) I feel she has been a little disingenuous in the way it was asked for. Plus c) money is tight this year and we have more people than usual to buy for (expanding families!)

However there is another perfume currently on offer at £20 which I know she wears as she bought it last year.

WIBU to buy the cheaper perfume instead of the one she has specifically asked for?

OP posts:
eminencegrise · 15/11/2011 11:58

Buy her a voucher for the shop where you saw the perfume. Tell her the actual perfume is beyond your budget.

MmeLindor. · 15/11/2011 11:58

Buy something totally different rather than a cheaper perfume.

And don't apologise or refer to the perfume again.

TapselteerieO · 15/11/2011 11:58

yanbu - give her gift vouchers, then if she really wants it she can put the extra money towards it.

ItWasABoojum · 15/11/2011 12:00

YANBU at all. She sounds like a cheeky mare!

dmo · 15/11/2011 12:00

good idea eminencegrise

then say "i have decided we should only buy gifts for each other for birthdays from now on as Christmas is a expensive time for all" Smile

bemybebe · 15/11/2011 12:01

second to the voucher - there is nothing wrong with that!

slavetofilofax · 15/11/2011 12:02

I think the voucher idea is the best way to go.

Aworryingtrend · 15/11/2011 12:03

A voucher towards the perfume is a wonderful idea, thank you Eminencegrise and others who suggested it. That really is the perfect solution.

And dmo that is definitely a good suggestion.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 15/11/2011 12:03

Definitely get her a Boots voucher. And definitely stop buying for each other - there are very very few adult friends I buy for.

whoopeecushion · 15/11/2011 12:04

Agree with the voucher for that shop.

Disgracefully cheeky.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 15/11/2011 12:05

Of course YANBU - you can get her whatever you like (or nothing). I probably wouldn't go for the other perfume not least as she may already have plenty if it's one she wears. A £15 / £20 gift voucher for Boots so that she can put it towards the perfume is a good idea.

squeakytoy · 15/11/2011 12:06

Do they do that perfume in a body spray.. that is usually a lot cheaper.

pigletmania · 15/11/2011 12:10

Yes exactly buy the cheaper perfume or as someone suggested, boots or superdrug gift card.

squeakytoy · 15/11/2011 12:13

I honestly dont get why adult friends do this. Me and my mate have just agreed a small budget that we will each spend on each other, and get each other something nice as a suprise.

Cant see the point in one person buying a pair of pj's while the other is there, and then the other one buying specific perfume... surely a surprise gift that has been picked with thought is much nicer to give.

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