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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken my little girl out of playgroup

26 replies

Delilah1976 · 14/11/2011 22:53

My dd started a playgroup when she was 2yr 6mts - she was attending for roughly 6 weeks (with 2 weeks off for school holidays).

One of the days is a woodlands group where they all go off for a woodlands walk and exploring and this was one of the main reasons we chose this group. On her 5th week of going to the woodlands group, she had only been there for haf an hour when I got a phonecall to say that her feet had got a "little bit wet" - could i come and collect her. No problem, I was close by so arrived within 10 minutes. She was not a little bit wet - she had been soaked after falling into a duck pond. They had changed her bottom half into spare trackies and socks but her wellies were sodden, as were her trousers and waterproof suit. Her hair was also soaking at the front. The explanation given was that she had just slipped while feeding the ducks although when i asked on the phone where in the park/woodland they were, I asked if they were near the duckpond and the play leader says yes but there weren't any ducks there today???

I took her home to get dried and even her top half was soaking up to her chest, he pull ups were full to busting as they had absorbed water. When I spoke to the playgroup the next day they were very apologetic about the whole thing and assured me that it wouldn't happen again etc.

So..... on the Tuesday of the next week (she only attended T,W,T) I dropped her off as usual and went to collect early to watch her play outdoor/have a chat to other mums. A gran came to collect her Grandson and came over to where we were standing outside and he left the area they were playing in and through the carpark to meeting his gran and NOBODY noticed he had left until another wee boy also tried to leave and got as far as the car park.

This left me thinking, they abviously aren't looking after the children in their charge like they should. I am having mixed emotions about the whole thing. I rang the administrator and explained my concerns and she tried to assure me that both of these incidents were isolated and I said I would think about it, which i did, but decided that i couldn't trust them anymore.

My wee one is a very confident, happy girl and I have never been over protective (I don't think) but this has got me confused. She is missing the playgroup which I know will fade but I feel now that I jumped the gun and should have given them another chance.

What do other mumsnetters think?

OP posts:
Original poster
Delilah1976 · 14/11/2011 22:54

Sorry for the mamoth post - just need to get it off my chest and get other opinions :)

OP posts:
sheepgomeep · 14/11/2011 22:57

I think i would have done the same thing to be honest. Whats the adult to child ratio?

trust your instincts and all that.

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/11/2011 22:58

is there another playgroup close to you that you could send her too?

I wouldn't have been happy at all about my toddler being in a situation where she could fall into the duckpond and it would completely knock my confidence too.

hiddenhome · 14/11/2011 22:59

Probably an acceptable level of care in the 1970s, but they should be really trying a bit harder now.

I don't think I'd personally feel comfortable with that level of 'care' for my dcs.

squeakytoy · 14/11/2011 22:59

You dont get another chance with a drowned child. I wouldnt have been happy and my child would not be going back there.

Mum1369 · 14/11/2011 22:59

How on earth did a child get into the car park? Was the gate not locked?

jasper · 14/11/2011 23:01

I would not let my children play anywhere near a duckpond. You need to feel your child is SAFE as a bare minimum, never mind the other stuff

YANBU

fusspot66 · 14/11/2011 23:01

They sound very sloppy re Health and Safety. You should report them. Not sure who to but your HV may know where. Your child could have drowned. And was left in a very wet state.

blackoutthesun · 14/11/2011 23:02

so two 'isolated incidents' in a week?

i would have done the same thing op

FannyFifer · 14/11/2011 23:02

They let her fall in a pond, WTF!
I would be making an official complaint, good god the thought of what could have happened.
Wasn't a toddler a few years ago drowned after falling in a pond while out with crèche staff.
Under no circumstances whatsoever would I send child back.

Harecare · 14/11/2011 23:03

Are they registered with ofsted? I think you should report them. Falling in the pond could possibly have happened in a freak slip up with an adult within arms reach, but allowing a child to leave without knowing is a serious safeguarding issue.
Ask to see their child protection policy. How will they make sure falling in the pond doesn't happen? Was someone within arms reach? What is their policy on children arriving and leaving? They should be signed in and out.

squeakytoy · 14/11/2011 23:04

I would not be happy with a child so young being taken into woodlands and near water. There are plenty of dangers in the countryside, not just water, that a toddler is going to be unaware of, and I would not trust nursery workers to be able to keep a proper eye on wandering children.

Original poster
Delilah1976 · 14/11/2011 23:05

Thanks for the replies ladies.

At the woodland group there was 7 kids and 3 staff + 2 parents so not understaffed.

I think, in all honesty, if it had just been a straightforward case of her slipping in the pond, I would have chalked it up to an accident - she could have been with me or her dad when it happened but the other incident happening so close in time to it made me reconsider.

There are a couple of playgroup close by but not close enough IYSWIM - I start back to work full time this week and I was alread juggling for her being there - my DH doesn't drive so if I am early shift or sleepover he won't be able to get her anywhere else as he has to be in work for 9.45. My mum, who is helping us out doesn't drive either so I don't want to make things difficult for her.

OP posts:
Harecare · 14/11/2011 23:06

By the way, we used to go to a nature club and when we were near the ponds the leaders were careful to make sure parents were with their children and the ponds had fences around them. There is no chance a child could have fallen in.

lesstalkmoreaction · 14/11/2011 23:07

The pond incident i could just about live with if it was handled properly ie a report of the incident was logged and signed by you. But a child escaping across a car park i would have been on the phone to ofsted as that is inexcusable.

maybenow · 14/11/2011 23:13

the pond thing might have been ok, i wouldn't panic about it, i have seen kids manage to get soaked head to toe even when held by the hand by an adult so they could never have been in danger of drowning... the second issue is more worrying... they don't seem to have good procceedures... i would want to talk to them about that and would only keep my child in if they were very aware of the fact that isn't acceptable and i was convinced that proceedures would change.

Original poster
Delilah1976 · 14/11/2011 23:14

I must admit, I was more than happy for her to go to the woodland group, we were only going to have her in playgroup 2 days and because of the woodland thing, we knew she would love it. It SHOULD be safe, their ratios are fine and they are registered. They are a registered charity - no funding outwith what parents pay and parents are required to do a "turn"

I have thought about reporting them to SSCWIS which is the Scottish Care Commission but so far have stopped myself because I keep thinking that maybe I have been hasty but I know in my head I really should - I wouldn't want on my conscience anything happening to another wee one.

With regard to the gate, the group is held in a community centre which the playgroup hire. They have a trim trail which is in the back garden of the centre but although it is fenced off there is a gap because it is a pathway and open to the public. This is all risk assessed but obviously something has slipped with regard to observation.

The gran didn't take her grandson away - he just ran out to meet her but the staff never noticed that the wee boy had left the play area.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delilah1976 · 14/11/2011 23:19

Because it was a small group, all the parents had to be involved in fundraising - I had been attending regular meeting since the day she started and obviously I was missing from the last one. I bumped into 2 other mums who commented that it was a shame that my wee one wasn't going any more and could someone else not take her. I thought this was strange so asked them what they meant - they were told at the last meeting that I had unexptectedly had to return to work full time and had to leave.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 14/11/2011 23:20

I would be fine with going to the woods / pond - DD's nursery did Forest School from when they could walk.

however, on how they dealt with it afterwards, and the car park incident, I would want more than "it's an isolated incident". I would want to know that they had done a full review, and what changes they had made to policies and/or training as a result. I once rounded up a nursery escapee whom I met on the (not busy) road on my way in - she had been handed over to her father at the time of escape, but the nursery manager still did a full drains-up review, and installed extra, more child-proof latches on the gates as a result.

Harecare · 14/11/2011 23:20

If the SSCWIS is the equivalent of Ofsted you ought to do it. Don't feel guilty. If you report it and someone checks them out they will hopefully help to make the playgroup safer. Protecting children from falling in ponds/carparks/leaving without staff knowledge isn't rocket science, but they obviously don't have the right procedures in place. If you report them and they sort it out you can then leave your DC confident she'll be safe.

FannyFifer · 14/11/2011 23:24

It actually sounds very like the playgroup near me.

McPhee · 14/11/2011 23:25

Shop them. The next child might not be so lucky.

Arion · 14/11/2011 23:27

😱
Report, report, report!

Your DD was able to fall into a duck pond.

Another dc was able to leave and get into a car park (well almost 2 DCs as they only noticed when 1st was followed?)

Both incidents could have had v serious consequences. Both should have been taken seriously, risk assessments written up to ensure this doesn't re-occur (which obviously didn't happen with you DD as it was so downplayed - "feet a little wet" WTF?)

To put this into context my DD gagged on some sausage at nursery, they had it down as a potential choking incident, risk assessed it and decided that as well as slicing the sausages for the children they would cut each piece in 1/2 to reduce any risk.

I did think at the time it was a bit of overkill, but your ex nursery's response seems neglectful. "One of these things" - pah!

Original poster
Delilah1976 · 14/11/2011 23:28

It could well be FannyFifer - if your user name is anything to go by.

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 14/11/2011 23:29

Is it in a town beginning with M?

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