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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if I were in any other job, this would be taken extremely seriously?

151 replies

dollydoops · 14/11/2011 18:18

Today at work, a huge erect penis was drawn on my door in glue. This is the second time this has happened. Also, an unwrapped condom was left on the floor of my room. I was in tears and very upset. Still am.
Guess what my job is? And if this happened in your job, what would you expect to happen?

OP posts:
SuePurblybiltbyElves · 14/11/2011 18:33

TheWonderfulFanny has the exact solution.

Original poster
dollydoops · 14/11/2011 18:35

Gamerwidow I don't think I implied anywhere in my post that I expected or needed anyone to step in or that I wasn't able to get the students' respect. I was making the point that workplace rules don't apply to teachers and genuinely interested as to what would happen in a 'normal' workplace.
Pombear- the penis was on the outside of the locked door when I arrived to teach a particular class. The condom was then left on the floor at the end of the same lesson.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/11/2011 18:36

I don't blame you for being upset, tbh

I don't think this is ok, I don't think we should wearily accept it and the fact that you are a teacher should not make a blind bit of difference, IMO

grovel · 14/11/2011 18:37

My DH would fire the perpetrator for gross misconduct. Simples.

QueenOfProcrastination · 14/11/2011 18:37

As a fellow secondary school teacher, I think it is unlikely to be personal in the sense that whoever is responsible will have been thinking it was a "laugh" rather than an insult. Some teenagers just don't think about how their actions may make others feel. Please don't take it as a reflection on your relationships with your students, rather as the action of a lone fool who was probably dared to do it by their friends. It shouldn't happen but it does. Hopefully your school will issue appropriate sanctions to the culprit(s) if found, but please don't give it any more thought as I doubt the student responsible is thinking about it now.

lisaro · 14/11/2011 18:38

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valiumredhead · 14/11/2011 18:38

I can't imagine crying over something like that fucking FURIOUS, quite possibly

worraliberty · 14/11/2011 18:39

I was making the point that workplace rules don't apply to teachers and genuinely interested as to what would happen in a 'normal' workplace

Well a 'normal' workplace doesn't usually contain immature teenagers who are forced to be there everyday...so you can't really compare.

TheFallenMadonna · 14/11/2011 18:39

I don't think it's acceptable, but I wouldn't't be upset by it.

It isn't the same as other workplaces because children are not our colleagues. Completely different relationship.

SootySweepandSue · 14/11/2011 18:39

There was a local 'vandal' round here drawing large penises on the bonnets of people's cars. He only chose flashy models aka porsches etc. Think it was some sort of 'artistic statement'. Maybe it was him.

I think this is an instance where teachers need to have a very thick skin and not to take anything personally.

JamieComeHome · 14/11/2011 18:41

lisaro - good point. If found, the perps should clean it up (mind you, could take a long time with a penis on your door ....)

catgirl1976 · 14/11/2011 18:41

Have to say it probably wasn't malicious - just teenagers. And very few workplaces contain several hundred teenagers so no, the normal rules don't apply.

It doesn't sound like the condom on the floor was "aimed" at you. It does sound immature but, well, teenagers are........

Maryz · 14/11/2011 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 14/11/2011 18:42

And actually, what made you think either of them had anything to do with you personally OP?

When I was a teenager I was forever drawing penises and hairy bollocks on steamed up windows/work books/paper airplanes etc...and the condom was quite possibly dropped by kids fiddling with it/childishly giggling.

I'm not really sure you should be taking this personally at all.

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/11/2011 18:44

The difference between a school and any other work place is that in another work place you are working with adults, whereas you work with children, so therefore have to expect juvenile behaviour.

I doubt it was meant in a nasty way, just boys being very silly. I work with sixteen year old boys and they are obsessed with penises- draw them on everything for some reason.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 14/11/2011 18:45

YANBU. I don't think it's acceptable and I don't think it would be wrong to include senior staff. One of my pupils repeatedly did things like this a few years ago. I tried to deal with it myself but it was clear he was doing it to get my attention and, tbh, detentions with me were exactly what he wanted! Eventually my head of dept at the time stepped in, moved him to another set, called the lad's mum into school & explained in no uncertain terms that her son was sexually harrassing me and that if he came within 20 metres of me or my classroom the school would involve the police. Your case may or may not go so far, but if it has reduced you to tears then senior staff should step in & support you.

worraliberty · 14/11/2011 18:45

How do you know it was a boy?

It could have been a boy or a girl. As you say, it's just juvenile behaviour.

squeakytoy · 14/11/2011 18:45

most 16yo girls are obsessed with penises too Grin

worraliberty · 14/11/2011 18:46

Exactly Squeaky! Grin

Original poster
dollydoops · 14/11/2011 18:48

Yes, on balance I agree that perhaps I shouldn't have been upset by it, and that it wasn't personal, etc. However, as AF says, I also think it is wrong that I have to shrug my shoulders and accept it as par for the course . That is what I WILL do, as it is the only option (apart from nabbing the condom-leaver- don't know who drew the cock but can work out who left the condom) but it doesn't mean I accept or am comfortable with doing that, and I'm a bit surprised by some of the comments here.

OP posts:
herbietea · 14/11/2011 18:49

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Message withdrawn

worraliberty · 14/11/2011 18:51

I don't think anyone's saying you should accept it as such...possibly have a word with the Head about mentioning graffitti and rudeness in assembly or something.

I think what people are saying is, it's juvenile behaviour (albeit unacceptable) and nothing to burst into tears about/take personally/try to compare to other working environments that don't contain children.

Did you have a completely different idea of what teaching teens would be like OP?

FullBeam · 14/11/2011 18:52

What is it with boys and drawing willies? I have never seen girls drawing vaginas over everything.

Sorry you had a crap day OP. Hope tomorrow will be better.

worraliberty · 14/11/2011 18:54

FullBeam No-one has said it was drawn by a boy? Confused

The OP doesn't know who drew it.

Original poster
dollydoops · 14/11/2011 18:57

Oh dear. I seem to be coming across wrong. I am not a new, young or naive teacher. I have been teaching eight years in three different tough inner-city London schools, being promoted in each new post. It is just that I have literally NEVER in my career experienced this. I have always been commended for excellent relationships with students and behaviour management. This feels insulting, disrespectful and unpleasant and I am not used to bring treated like this.

OP posts: