DS4 attends a preschool nursery class every day for 3 hours, as do the vast majority of children where we are, it is attached to school.
He has been flagged as high risk for ASD and is being assessed, he has 2 siblings with ASD. One of the red flags is a processing delay, and another is he seems to be scared of everything- plates unless plain white, pyjamas, and pants.
He is also not out of nappies yet. DS3 was 6 and I think nursery think we are haading that way but in fact ds3 has severe autism as they know so a different kettle of fish IMO.
Anyway: he's petrified of the toilet at home and we got him using the potty but can't get him into pants, if he has a nappy or pull up he wets. Nursery asked me to try pants and I did: he screamed and bit so much it took me 40 minutes to get him to nursery when it usually takes 10 and he has screamed on the way ever since. I have been sending him in pull ups since so they can still try the toilet but not working, pull ups still cause a scene with biting albeit less so.
I told them I would continue to do this but due to biting I could not ask the childminder who takes him twice a week to put pants on him, would be unfair. preschool Leader cornered CM and asked her to put pants on him anyway and ignore me, she doe not realise we are friends and talk.
AIBU to think they have no right to try and over rule me like this? I am doing my best to alleviate the phobias, they are a nightmare to deal with and need handling one step at a time. I am qualified in ASD whilst they 'read the curious incident of the 'dog in the night time' (a genuine quote).
There is no other school: we would send him there if there was but the only other one in town is over subscribed. he does not need a statement so that route not an option.
Anyway, AIBU to think they should not to CM like this or being touchy? Have had years of this sort of thing from school with older boys now in SNUs so not best placed to judge fairly perhaps.