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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be stunned by the reaction dh witnessed at the war memorial today

114 replies

Northernlurker · 13/11/2011 20:45

(Sorry this is my second aibu remembrance day thread - I've got a cold, it's making me intolerant)

So dh went with my parents to the church service and wreath laying in a nearby village. I was laid low at home with myself (cold), dd2 (headache) and dd3 (slapped cheek - COVERED in spots) Two or three folks are always organised in yellow jackets to stop the traffic near to the memorial for the two minutes silence. Today this occurred and the driver of the vehicle stopped and SHOUTED 'D'you own the road??' He was politely asked to wait two minutes which he then did. Now fair enough that people could be caught unawares by the presence of 170 people in the village street but wouldn't you think when asked to wait TWO minutes you would just.....well.....wait - not shout? AIBU?

OP posts:
MsHighwater · 13/11/2011 21:08

My colleague was passing through a nearby town on Friday and the traffic lights (immediately beside the war memorial) all turned to red, halting all the traffic for the duration of the silence.

Of course, life goes on. At the risk of cliche, surely it is not unreasonable to expect people to pause for 2 minutes, perhaps to be a little bit grateful that, partly owing the sacrifice of some, the rest of us are free to go on with our lives. In these circumstances, anyone who, however politely, asks to be let through rather than wait 2 minutes for the silence, just because the person signalling is not an actual police officer, risks looking like a pompous arse. Emergencies and impending births excepted, of course.

bruxeur · 13/11/2011 21:10

My mistake, there was another village full of semi-tumescent Brians in hi-vis, who managed to spin it out EVEN LONGER than OP's. Carry on.

Hulababy · 13/11/2011 21:11

The driver shouldn't have shouted but at least he did stop once told.

I can't think of many reasons why people can't stop and be quiet for a mere two minutes of their day. Obviously if it was an emergency then they just say so politely surely?

As for closing the road and not being alolowed - really/ It was for two minutes! When we take children out from our school to the local park I wear a yellow jacket and I stand in the road and stop the traffic from going, even when the green light is back on. We have 90 children or so to cross over three roads all within a few metres of one another - probably affects some drivers for longer than two minutes! We certainly don't get special permission to do so or have police on site when we do it!

Original poster
Northernlurker · 13/11/2011 21:11

Bruxeur - it was two minutes in this village.

OP posts:
Minus273 · 13/11/2011 21:12

Surely traffic being stopped is dependent on where exactly the War memorial is. Ours in the middle of the park so doesn't have any impact on traffic however I have driven through many a village where the memorial is on the edge of the main road.

I agree if there was a medical emergency he should have said so. I think he sounds like a grump just the smae as those who complain about check out operators participating in 2 minute silences etc.

Yankeecandlequeen · 13/11/2011 21:14

Traffic is stopped at my village as I live opposite the war memorial. Its only 2 minutes out of 24 hours.

If he was that desperate to pass he should have set off eariler.

IwanttobeShirleyValentine · 13/11/2011 21:14

Alot of war memeorials were bilt in places before roads got as busy as they are today! In some villages and towns I have lived traffic HAS to be stopped because of the people gathered around the memorial. Memorial services often involve kids from local groups like scouts and cagets etc, all paying their respects and laying wreaths on the memorial, sometimes its is not safe to have traffic milling around and it stopped for a few minutes to be done. Parish councils more often than not get permission to do this, they dont just decide to stop traffic off their own back.

FGS - Its 2 minutes, whats the ordeal with people. 4 minutes in total if you stopped on friday as well.

Lots of drivers on busy main roads often pull over at 11am on Armistace day out of their own choice, its a whole other debate whether this is just plain stupid and dangerous over being respectful, but its something I have seen many many times whilst driving at 11am on the 11th November.

ddubsgirl · 13/11/2011 21:14

blimey traffic was stopped for ages here in brighton today,my kids & hubby all marching with NTC not 1 person or driver moaned,once all passed the roundabout by pier it was opened again till they marched back to the pier and old steine was shut off for over an hour.

ellenjames · 13/11/2011 21:14

some pretty bad attitudes on here "life doesn't stop" Well it bloody did for the people being remembered! Have some compassion please.

Original poster
Northernlurker · 13/11/2011 21:17

ellen - I do agree. I watched the BBC coverage and there was a poor man on there who lost his son this year. Watching him describe how he saw the chaplain get out of the car in front of their house and thought basically 'Oh that's just a priest, that's ok' - and then he saw the two Royal Marines getting out afterwards and he knew. His son was 23.
I don't think two minutes is much for that is it?

OP posts:
JamieComeHome · 13/11/2011 21:19

bruxeur - ageist much?

bruxeur · 13/11/2011 21:21

Try brufen and some gentle exercise for that back of yours, Jamie.

ellenjames · 13/11/2011 21:21

not at all! It's nothing compared to what a family goes through when losing a loved one. This year a friend of my dh died in a training incident. He was in the marines, and had a partner and a 20 month old child. My dh said today he would give anything to just have him back for one day for his family and himself, he was only 30 Sad

Kellamity · 13/11/2011 21:22

I marched at Whitehall today. It was amazing.

I took a cab from my hotel to Horse Guards Parade this morning, as you do, but the taxi driver wouldn't take my money (came to £8.90) - "not today love, this one's on me" he said. I was a bit choked and nearly kissed him, wish I had!

scaevola · 13/11/2011 21:24

Kellamity - that's wonderful!!!!

I saw on the news that they raised Tower Bridge for 2 minutes on 11th - that probably caused much more hold up than a 2 minutes on a Sunday in a village.

ellenjames · 13/11/2011 21:24

Kellamity, that is lovely x

Minus273 · 13/11/2011 21:24

Its only 2minutes. Some of those who are being remembered were as young as 14. Just children really. I have been caught unawares a couple of times by not realising what time it was IYSWIM, I go quiet and still as soon as I realise

JamieComeHome · 13/11/2011 21:25

Aha! Got my back up! touché

ddubsgirl · 13/11/2011 21:26

awww thats was nice of him kella,my eldest passed out :( ds2 was stood behind and caught him,was really sunny & warm today and they were stood for ages in the sun and loads started to drop, st johns did a fab job today very busy and the lovely fireman who checked that ds1 was ok :)

fifitot · 13/11/2011 21:27

God some awful attitudes. Also as usual always some smart arse who tries to be devil's advocate. Medical emergency my arse.

2 minutes out of your day. Some people just have no sense of anything outside of their own immediate needs and lives. It's a sorry state of affairs.

Sirzy · 13/11/2011 21:29

St John are great!!

Tell her next year (if she does it then!) if she starts feeling faint to gently rock her feet back and forward a bit while she is stood there which is often enough to get things moving enough to stop you fainting. We always tell our cadets though if they feel ill to just fall out of the parade (we would rather that than them fall over lol!)

hope she is feeling better now!!

ddubsgirl · 13/11/2011 21:32

he not she lol yeah he just blacked out bless him and went really white,i think 1 person hurt themself as the fell into a tree,cut head i was told but other than that it was mostly heat,he felt really bad but last yr it pissed it down and we had just had snow so the kids all wrapped up warm and overheated!

exoticfruits · 13/11/2011 21:33

I was in a town on Friday where the traffic was stopped for at least 15 mins. Whole roads were closed in our town today. How can you have silence with the cars passing? Confused

MrFawkesMan · 13/11/2011 21:41

People in the Armed Forces deserve our respect and admiration because they are volunteering to die for the rest of us.

Those of them who actually die for this purpose deserve our memory, our thanks and our gratitude.

2 minutes is a pittance.

KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 13/11/2011 21:47

Some people are just nobs.
We had some mad bloke try to ride his bike through 200 cubs/scouts/brownies and so on!!!