Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to wonder why even the nicest of people think animals are objects...

54 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 12/11/2011 22:18

i am flighty and fickle, but not even i could ever get an animal and then decide somewhere down the line i cant have it anymore, surely that should be a major consideration when deciding to get a pet?

yet some of the nicest people i know have had pets for a few months/years then "rehomed" them.

i have often ended up with "rehomed" animals....

i wonder what it is in peoples psyches that makes a sentient being somehow be expendable? sometimes my kids have stretched me to the limit, but rehoming them wasnt an option! ditto with DH....seriously though - shouldnt these things be thought through better beforehand?

we have had countless animals yet i have always thought that taking on an animal is a (its) lifelong responsibility...

what do people think happens to pets that are "rehomed"....?

i realise peoples circumstances change but i just think all things should be considered prior to getting a pet....its makes me quite sad, i lost my pooch last year and to me he was just as big a part of the family as any other one of us. Why dont people think it through more before getting a pet?

OP posts:

helpmabob · 12/11/2011 22:21

yanbu, I do appreciate there are some real extenuating circumstances but I have known many to rehome for convenience.

ElizabethPonsonby · 12/11/2011 22:21

YABU circumstances can change and it's kinder to give an animal up to someone who can care for it if you no longer can give it what's needed.

worraliberty · 12/11/2011 22:22

I totally agree and with so much information out there on the internet, there really is no excuse to thoroughly research what you're taking on...often for life, or at least a huge part of it.

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 12/11/2011 22:24

do most really truly go to someone who can care for it though? or do they end up in pounds, kennels, cages, then given a lethal injection after a week?

i know circumstances change, but why get any animal if you cannot cope with a change in circumstances? its not an option to rehome your children if your circumstances change, why is it so easy to do it with a dog or cat?

im not judging, but i am surprised at how many people i know who are lovely, but who have done this without a second thought.

OP posts:

iliketea · 12/11/2011 22:25

I guess some people's circumstances change beyond what they thought about. A friend of mine has been advised by a consultant to rehome her elderly cat because of her dd's asthma, she never anticipated that prior to getting her moggie.

I can't imagine rehoming my cats ever, but if it was a choice between my dd being ill or rehoming my other babies, i would rehome the cats (although i would feel heartbroken by it).

StrandedBear · 12/11/2011 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BehindLockNumberNine · 12/11/2011 22:26

Elisabeth, does that go for children too? Surely pets (esp dogs) are part of the family and you take the rough with the smooth and do whatever you can to do the best by all family members?
I sometimes think the 'I have to do what is best for the dog' line is a bit of a cop out. It is not in the best interest of the dog to be shunted to a rescue or a new family, it will not understand why you, his / her family, has abandoned it. It will be confused and frightened. I think it is too easily done 'in the best interests of the dog' when in fact it is only in the best interest of the 'owner'.

Soupqueen · 12/11/2011 22:28

We have our beautiful rescue cat because his first person decided to move to Canada. 2 weeks after getting him. Our gain, but really?!?

springboksaplenty · 12/11/2011 22:28

Really? I would think better of a friend who could recognise their limitations and put their pet's welfare first and find it a new home.

ElizabethPonsonby · 12/11/2011 22:30

And if it was a choice between children or the pet?

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 12/11/2011 22:31

i once joked (yes joked!!) with my DS asthma consultant when he told me that our pets could be contributing to his asthma....i turned to DS and said "well son, looks like we will have to rehome you...."

the consultant laughed.

turns out he was most allergic to dust mites and sod all can be done about those little suckers....so the pets stayed. He has it seems finally outgrown most of his symptoms at the grand old age of 20.

i dont think getting rid of my dog or cat would have made the slightest difference. we still have em now and he has no symptoms for the first time in years.

OP posts:

issey6cats · 12/11/2011 22:44

you are being a bit unreasonable i work at a cat rescue and yes sometimes cats are rehomed for flimsy reasons, but we have taken in cats because someone has died, (they didnt plan for that one) people become ill and end up in hospital long term, people go into sheltered accomodation and are not allowed to take their pets, people or children develop allergies, some cats that are coming into the center tommorrow, distraught girl on the end of the phone, relative of hers got arrested, shes got the kids, cats locked in a house with no electric by the police, how do you tell that person that her relative should not rehome the 8 cats, we sorted out a pen and they will be rehomed to loving homes, and not all rescues put them down after a week, most independants have a no kill policy, (tis the big ones that do) so sometimes circumstances change to the point where pets are secondary to the crisis in a persons life and they have no choice

BullieMama · 12/11/2011 22:48

I can understand what you are saying OP but life does have a nasty way of slapping you in the face, divorce, death, loss of a job or increased hours can all impact on your ability to meet your pets needs.

Far better to face the reality that you are no longer capable of meeting your pets needs than to muddle along giving them a crap life.

Smokedsalmonbagel · 12/11/2011 22:48

YANBU

Someone I know has just rehomed their dog after having it for a few months.

I had to endure endless conversations for months on how wonderful dogs are, how its wonderful taking it on family walks. I'm not a dog person and sat there thinking dogs need a lot of care and attention.

Now the dogs gone as they didn't have enough time for it. Its gone to a good home but kind of feel they should have thought about it more before they got it.

I do agree sometimes it is necessary to rehome if circumstances change.

Stropzilla · 12/11/2011 23:00

I've had to rehome my cats :( one attacked DD from behind, apparantly got jealous and the other was long-haired and DD was allergic. Got both before I even thought of having children! I've also taken in animals including a goldfish that was handed to me with "either take them or they get flushed". Oh, and while visiting a mate I saw he wasn't caring for his bunny properly, so I just told him I was taking the animal.

Yes, it winds me up good and proper when people treat pets as property, but I've also been on the other end of having to find new homes. I've never got an animal without being prepared to care for it forever!

CheeseandGherkins · 12/11/2011 23:06

What about animals used for meat? Most people don't seem to care so much about those.

Kladdkaka · 12/11/2011 23:06

Reminds me of when we moved abroad. Cost more to get the paperwork in order and ship the animals over than it did to ship all the humans and our belongings. At the time people thought we were mad. We, however, would not have contemplated anything else. (My feet would freeze at night without my furry hotwater bottle)

Stropzilla · 12/11/2011 23:17

CheeseandGherkins I do eat meat, and would love to own a reptile whose diet is primarily insects and the odd mouse I believe. I have owned (or been owned by) rats, and have no problem seperating friends and food. That doesn't mean I don't care about how an animal lives and dies, and I would always prefer to buy meat that has been humanely killed. I do assume you don't eat meat and have no wish to get into a discussion about ethics but I wanted your post to be acknowledged as it does raise a good point. I would like to think most animal lovers would care about where their food comes from!

TotallyKerplunked · 12/11/2011 23:26

YABU.

I hate people who have pets as accessories and dump them at a moments notice (cousin has got rid of 2 dogs on separate occasions as they peed on carpet and he couldn't be arsed to train them).

However...

I took in my DBro cat when he lost his home so he could sort himself out and have her back as he didn't want her to go to a sanctuary in case they put her to sleep. 2 years later there was no sign of him being close to having her back. I had 4 cats who all lived harmoniously together, introducing DBro cat caused chaos (on her own she was lovely but hated other cats). I spent a fortune on separate litter trays/beds/feeding areas/training/behavioural books/vets so she could stay with me but after an incident where her fighting with my old moggie involved her running over my 8 week old DS to get to moggie (who needed stitches after) I had to do something, no family/friends could take her so she had to go to a sanctuary. I've had cats my whole life, I know there needs and the cats I have are my babies but what should I have done in that situation?

TheFrogs · 12/11/2011 23:26

I feel the same about giving pets away but I must admit, at the moment i'm thinking about trying to rehome a cat i've had for over ten years.

I wrote about it on another thread last week. It would break my heart but I think it might be better for her.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 12/11/2011 23:28

I did that. I had two cats. After we had had them for two years, we moved to a new town, our house purchase fell through at the last minute and we ended up in a first floor flat, on a main road.

My two cats went to live with my aunty. She has a farm. It was only supposed to be temporary, but by the time we found somewhere better to live the cats were very settled and happy on the farm, snoozing in front of the open fire, and killing all the mice. I couldn't bring myself to tear them away from the countryside back to the town. They are still there, now about 16 years old, still killing mice and tormenting aunty's dogs.

I think it would have been more selfish of me to keep them in a situation where they would have either been shut in all day, or had a high chance of getting run over.

DilysPrice · 12/11/2011 23:32

But if people were never morally allowed to rehome their pets then far fewer of then would take them on. We have taken on five cats from rescue centres over the years, and loved and cared for them perfectly well. But if the rescue centres had asked us to agree that we would care for this animal for the rest of its life no matter what - and never consider rehoming them, even if we had a child who was allergic to them, or had to move to a flat where cats were not allowed, or had to emigrate, then we probably wouldn't have ever taken them on in the first place and they'd have been stuck in tiny cages for years.

Neuromantic · 12/11/2011 23:35

Whats with the "does that go for children" thing mean? Ask that again when you give birth to a puppy.

Bearskinwoolies · 13/11/2011 04:03

I've rehomed a cat - he'd lost a leg in a car accident and six months down the line we moved 400+ miles away onto a street with a very busy bus route. I would have loved to have taken him with us, but as his mobility had become limited, it would not have been kind/the best thing to do for him.

He was rehomed through the Blue Cross, to an elderly couple who treated him as though the sun shone out of his furry little bum.

YABU

AgentFarnell · 13/11/2011 07:37

Name changed for this

VicarInATutu I genuinley hope nothing bad ever happens to you to face some of the decisions some of the posters on here (including myself) have had to make, as I feel you're being a little naiive. I fully agree that animal are not disposable objects to be had on a whim. But some animals that are rehomed are still very much loved.

I had severe PND after having my DC. After my maternity leave I attempted going back to work and just couldn't do it. I had a responsible public sector job (one very much talked about on MN at the moment). I had several months off sick. I got no better. I tried to go back to work again and couldn't. My employers decided it would be best for everyone if they let me go. I was not sacked, but found it impossible to get another job with my awful sickness record and a reference that said I can't cope in my job anymore.

We couldn't pay our bills (I was the breadwinner)

We were declared bankrupt.

We lost our home.

We could not get a council house for love nor money, and could not find a landlord willing to take on our failed credit application, small child AND dog. Something had to give.

We had our dog for nine years. She loved and trusted me. And I had to rehome her to get a roof over our heads. It was a while ago now but I still cry on a regular basis for letting my dog down. For letting my whole family down. I loved my dog so much and she loved me. Never did I think nine years previously that I would be in the situation I found myself in, but it's shockingly easy. I am lucky in one way though. The family I rehomed her with have been really understanding. They send me updates over FB and upload pictures of her for me to see.

I am not an irresponsible person and I did not treat my dog like an object. But i did have her rehomed.

Flip

1 2 3