to still hold a torch for someone

[Mum2Luke]

To cut a long story short, DH and I were going through a rough patch, he thought he could buy his way into my affections and have a new kitchen fitted when all I wanted was a bit of attention (such as taking me out for dinner/generally being nice). He got this guy, his mate's brother-in-law to do the job which I thought 'Ok, give this a go' after meeting him.

We got on like a house on fire - literally, he was so nice, giving me compliments and flirting (he was separated) with me. We ended up snogging, nothing else and I still sort of like him. He has been doing our kid's bedroom and I've been trying to hold my feelings back by making myself scarce while he is here by making myself busy with housework. DH knew nothing so he booked him to do the room and all those feelings have resurfaced. DH is still being an arse, mainly about my job as I work from home looking after kids and do activities which involve glitter sometimes. We have one ore day together on Monday when he is finishing off the job and then I'll miss him being a flirt and just having adult company is nice anyway. I know I should n't feel this way but I cannot just switch them on and off.

i'd love a new kitchen could happily put up with less sex with dh

You just sound a bit bored and the glitter OCD isn't really a high crime against happiness.

You are about to trash your nice life though. You've been warned.

I know, I have decided to move on and shake him out of my mind. DH has absolutely no idea really when it comes to romance or anything, he used to be when we first met, cooking for me/ taking me out, we've been together 24 years now (21 years married) and I think I probably just got too complacent. Its not easy flirting with someone who continually picks holes and criticizes, he can be very nasty sometimes, I nursed him when he had a very serious accident and he moaned at me then. Now you can see why my head was turned again even though we did nothing this time.

We had a new kitchen fitted partly because our eldest lad was cooking and burnt the work top, we were not able to replace and having not made a claim got a full pay out on the insurance. DH and I were going through a rough patch which you do sometimes when you are struggling financially, trying to pay the bills and support our eldest at college.

Am hardly bored, I do two jobs, one as a childminder (and no I wasn't minding while we had the fling before you ask) looking after before and after schoolies and the other as a dinner lady in a local school kitchen as well as doing the usual housework, washing, ironing, shopping etc and taking my youngest to football training and matches.

Am off to work.

Haha no, no glitter allowed now, Christmas childminding activities going to be glitter-free by the looks - miserable sod that he is sometimes!

I need a brew now before work I think.

Confused...was he buying his way into your affections or did the insurance company replace tour kitchen?

If you don't like your husband very much perhaps you ought to leave him?

Its my job, OFSTED tell me I have to do activities with the children and he moans non-stop, at the moment I cannot afford to go out to work as we get no tax credits, we have no relatives to help with childcare and I cannot afford to pay a childminder out of a small wage. He will just have to like it or lump it at the moment, have only 2 years then my youngest goes to senior school and won't need me to take him or pick him up from school.

Why should I go? This is 1/2 my house? I contributed to paying for the place out of my accident compensation and I don't ask for any money towards my clothes or for going out anywhere. I do 2 jobs and it helps pay towards my car, gym membership and whatever I want to buy. Perhaps I should be a SAHM, squeeze him for all his wages by doing nothing and watch Jeremy Kyle everyday - God forbid, I would be bored then!!

He was going to replace the kitchen even before the lad burnt the worktop, it was just financially it would have been a struggle, he seems to think he can buy my affections yes with quite alot of things, I just want to him to be more pleasant that's all and stop bloody moaning when am doing things with the children, I have to record it for OFSTED to see, I clean up the house after and its spotless most of the time, they are gone when he has got back from work so whats he worrying about?