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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about babysitting?

18 replies

Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 21:27

So, I babysat last night til half eleven for a friend; no problem at all, she asked me last week.

I am a teacher, have had parents' appts all week (we don't do the two evenings thing, we spread them over whole week to help working parents), two of which have been very emotional tonight (bereavement).

My tooth is broken, and I am scared of my appointment tomorrow, plus have my own anxieties atm regarding my son (who is staying with my mum this weekend to give us a break, and him).

My next door neighbour, who is a close friend and knows all of above asked me if I could baby sit tonight as she has been offered some waitressing work (she does need the money); it will be til half eleven tonight. I sort of said "Well, it will be a bit difficult; son is away so we can have time together; I'm really tired" - she said she would have to not do the work otherwise.

So now I have her son, mine at my mum's, my break gone... I feel a bit sad.

Help me not to feel resentful? ( I do love my next door neighbour, and her kid is no trouble, but we can't have the relaxing evening we planned if you know what I mean?)

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 11/11/2011 21:35

Is the child at yours and cant you put said child to bed?

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 21:39

He is at mine, but he won't sleep in any bed but his own, so will have to sit up til his mum is finished (she says that he would prefer this)or we would have to put him to bed at home (we have keys), but then we would have to sit next door, and can't really relax there.

I know I'm being unreasonable, just wanted a night off. : (

OP posts:
spugglers · 11/11/2011 21:41

You are definitely not being unreasonable!

MitziKinsky · 11/11/2011 21:42

You are a lovely friend to your neighbour. What goes around comes around. Smile

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 21:45

Thanks! Well, we have put ET on, and decided to make the best of it! : )

OP posts:
sharondaw · 11/11/2011 21:47

Ask her to return the favour one night so you can go out.

emsyj · 11/11/2011 21:53

YANBU to feel a bit disappointed about missing your break, but I am sure your neighbour will return the favour. As others have said, what goes around comes around. Pay into the favour bank when you can, you never know when you might need to make a big withdrawal.

Chin up, you're a nice person to do this for her Smile.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 21:54

It's harder for her - she is a single parent since her husband left her - and is an amazing mum. It's just that I didn't want to do it tonight, if I'm going to be honest although my partner is doing all the chatting and playing draughts whilst watching film, whilst I MN

OP posts:
Bluebell99 · 11/11/2011 21:59

Ah I think you should have said no on this occasion , seeing as your own son is away and you could have gone out. And that would have been reason enough. In your situation, I would take him home and put him to bed, and get your dh to go round there with you. How old is the child? Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. How did you get on tues? Remember your other post about your friend's dentist husband.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 22:04

Thanks bluebell - well, he is snuggled on our sofa and looking droopy eyed now,so I think he will fall asleep here in a bit, and then we can at least chat/relax til his mummy finishes work. My son'sparents' eve went well, so the problems there seem to be just at home - and as to tooth - well, I have to have root canal filling in the morning!! Eeek!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 22:04

Oh - he is 9 years old.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 22:20

Well - next door boy has fallen asleep on my partner's lap - so we are going to put the film we want on now - quietly! : )

OP posts:
Whoisthat · 11/11/2011 22:56

You are lovely :) What a kind thing to do for your neighbour.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 23:16

Thanks for happy messages - I do feel less resentful now, so thank you!

I think earlier, I was just looking forward to a free night, and it's not the biggest deal, is it - good neighbour/community friendships more important in the long run. :)

OP posts:
Hassled · 11/11/2011 23:19

It is lovely of you to do this, but I think you maybe need to spell it out to the friend that it's a one-off. She can't be taking waitressing jobs without sorting proper childcare - and you have your hands well and truly full.

Original poster
Cathycomehome · 11/11/2011 23:25

I have to be honest, I am counting dowm the minutes now til his mummy comes home to get him....I want to talk to my partner properly, and we're really missing the moment! (not bitter, or resentful, or anything - I just want her to come home soon!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Cathycomehome · 12/11/2011 00:41

Ah well- his mum has come to get him (just!) now, and we are valiantly staying up for a bit! Time to put the computer away as partner coming back fron next door...

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 12/11/2011 11:29

Like so many on this forum you are too lovely for your own good. Make sure she reciprocates. And Hassled is right - this has to be a one-off.

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