to ask you what the funniest/most random thing to have happened to you this week is?

[BalloonTwister]

Because it's Friday, I've got a glass of wine and I need a bloody good laugh

When my builder told me I needed a new roof and I fell about laughing.
Apparently he'd never had that reaction in 20 years.

I laughed because my xh who left 10 weeks ago will be footing the bill!

I'll even start. I have had a couple of phone calls this week from a number I don't recognise. I just knew it was a sales calll as the number went something like 01234 5678. I answered it today and the man said "is that Mrs Balloon?" I replied "Um, no, sorry, she's out" "Are you a relative?" asked Man. "No" I replied "I'm the cleaner" (I bloody wish!) and THEN, Man said, "Well why are you answering the fucking phone then???" I was so shocked I hung up!

I then phoned my DM to impart this shocking story and she said "Hang on a minute, there's a chicken at the door. Your fathers trying to catch it. I'll call you back" And she hasn't. All fecking day. And now she's not in. I hope the chicken hasn't eaten them both!

x post, sorry Isis. Wicked, see I'm smiling already! :)

Will the penis measuring become a regular bathtime habit do you think?

My DD is obsessed with twiddling her nipples 'it feels nice mummy!'.
She's 5.

Isis I just spat wine all over my keyboard! Will have to have another glass now :(

It clean it up a treat, don't cha know!

DD and I have also had the 'talk' about only playing with fanjos in private!
She was 3 at the time.

Balloon - Pmsl at the thought of a chicken at the door!!!!

Maybe they could be employed as pointers to help the chickens find there way?

So was i but I have no idea what she meant because she hasn't called me back. She lives in a residential street, not the country or anything so fuck knows what it was all about.

Oh God I thought they must be chicken wranglers.
Had they been drinking?

Perhaps they're over on the drunk thread.

I am laughing at a sales person asking for a Mrs Ballons.
Do you think the chicken is holding them hostage now, got to be.

Maybe the chicken is 'plotting'!

I have no idea Aquashiv. Bizarre stuff happens to my parents all the time. Only a few months ago DM came home to find 5000 copies of the yellow pages on the doorstep. Turns out (3 days later and after lots of Victor Meldrew style ranting from my Father) that the lady at 139 was supposed to be the distributor. My parents live at 39!

I fell into a wishing well. In a restaurant. In India. Is that random enough for you?

It's quite random bod, yes. How did you fall in? Was there no wall, or a bucket to cling on to?

Not happened to me but the funniest thing was a story a work colleague told me.

She and her 5 year old DS cooked up a prank to play on her mother when she visited, her mother always brings her rather elderly dog, which 90% of the time ends up doing a shit in my colleagues house. So anyway, they planned to put down some of that joke poo and tell her mother that the dog had pooed. Unknown to my colleague her DH had overheard this.

Fast forward to her mother visiting and the dog ran into the house, straight to the kitchen where he did indeed start having a real shit. My colleague shouts to her mother "mum the dog is having a poo!" So her mum hurries to remove her coat and whatnot and gets a bag to pick up the offending turd.

Just as she is about to remove it my colleagues DH comes running in and stamps on the dogshit.
It obviously squelches underfoot... his reaction was to shout "SHIT!"
Her poor mum was gobsmacked and said "I was just about to pick it up!"

This story had me on my knees in tears infront of customers. Even typing it out now has me giggling insanely...

Hahaha! Ferret thats hilarious. My poor keyboard has had more wine than me tonight. :)

It's still spelling well though isn't it?

Yes, it is Iris, I thought some of the keys might have stuck down or something but it seems to be positively enjoying it.

Our chickens don't wait at the door, they just come into the kitchen looking for grub.

So were you're chickens randomly wandering round surburbia on a jolly then?