Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that ds doesn't require "boy toys"!!!...

28 replies

thedevilisinthedetail · 11/11/2011 20:50

...he will be 8 months old this Christmas. Mil visited us recently and told me she would be getting ds lots of presents this year as he requires "boy toys"...her main example was that she was looking for cars and trucks for the bath as she noticed he had nothing to play with! Why...does being a boy mean ducks and fish are out! I'm so annoyed. Still trying to convince her that dd doesn't just play with the pin k version of toys.

Tried to say to mil that we have loads of toys and if she was thinking about Christmas presents that some bigger clothes would be brilliant as we're running out...and she can go to town on "boy" things...she laughed and said I should be able to buy these essentials. I know she is going to spend a fortune on these essential items so ds has correct gender specific toys. AIBU to tell hey not to and that we would really appreciate clothes!

OP posts:
Hassled · 11/11/2011 20:55

Well, YANBU. She's being a bit nuts.

Except that DD grew up in a house of DS1's trucks and cars, and only ever wanted dolls and pink things. And then DS2 had a house full of dolls and pink things and only ever wanted trucks and cars - infuriating :o.

Let her buy a few boy toys if it makes her happy - not worth getting too wound up about it. But yes, stress the need for clothes again.

nocake · 11/11/2011 21:08

I think it would be very inappropriate for her to buy him boy toys Wink

fuzzynavel · 11/11/2011 21:15

You are being a bit unreasonable OP.

What's wrong with her buying him boy toys?

Granny has the right to buy him what she likes (within reason of course), why should she buy him clothes? It's her money.

GruffalowsMammy · 11/11/2011 21:18

Do you know where she will shop? Could you return some things? Oh and for good measure buy him one of these

[http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/20196303/]

It winds my MIL up - as a plus I like them and will be buying them for my DS.

troisgarcons · 11/11/2011 21:22

Clothes for a baby arent 'presents' ... they are to ease your purse.
Useful, and wanted by you - but not a childs presents.

However if you are feeling the pinch she laughed and said I should be able to buy these essentials then tell her you need useful things.

altinkum · 11/11/2011 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 11/11/2011 21:30

troisgarcons
An 8 month old doesn't need many toys. With an older sister, he almost certainly already has as much to play with as he "needs". Save it for when he's old enough to actually notice what people get him or that he was given anything at all

I second the suggestion to return excess toys and get what you need.

FabbyChic · 11/11/2011 21:32

You want someone to buy your child clothes? For Christmas? Thats a shit present, kids should not get clothes for christmas its a parents duty to clothe their child not use the excuse to buy them clothes for christmas and call them presents

worraliberty · 11/11/2011 21:33

Oh chill out and lighten up OP Lol

floweryblue · 11/11/2011 21:35

Let her buy what she wants. It's her money and from your OP it sounds as if you are mostly sorted with a mix of toys. If you need more clothes because you are short of cash, then ask MIL if she can give you some clothes vouchers as part of his/your/dp's present.

Ephiny · 11/11/2011 21:36

It's a bit silly of her to make a fuss about him having particular toys just because they're 'for boys' rather than because he likes/wants them (and it's news to me that boys aren't supposed to play with ducks etc in the bath!)

But I really don't think you can tell her what she can/can't buy as a present, especially if she didn't ask for suggestions. You just have to smile and graciously accept, that's how gifts work!

slavetofilofax · 11/11/2011 21:37

YABU

Her grandson is still young enough that Granny can have a bit of pleasure buying what she wants to buy for him, without him having specific wishes of what he wants. Why shouldn't she get to enjoy buying some boyish toys if she wants to?

She doesn't have to get anything if she doesn't want to, you should be grateful that she wants to get things especially for your son.

She is right that it is up to you to buy clothes if you need them. Buying clothes is not Gran's responsibility, it is yours.

Iggly · 11/11/2011 21:45

Her money.
Also, maybe a generational thing, but GPs tend to think along boy/girl pink/blue lines. He's young and won't notice!

Original poster
thedevilisinthedetail · 11/11/2011 21:51

I can buy him clothes, that's not a problem. Son won't have a huge amount he can fit and will buy as required. The thing is we have a house bursting with toys (girl and boy suitable!!!) and he's 8 months old...he'll eat whatever it is...clothes would be useful but ds won't exactly mind,! She is also appalled that current favourite toy is a soft doll, rattle thing that dd never really took to...kept taking out away from him to loud protests. Kept having to take it fromm her to return it to a crying baby who wanted to sleep with it.

It is trivial but fail to understand her attitude.

OP posts:
Alouisee · 11/11/2011 21:51

Pick your battles op. This isn't worth getting worked up over and you should be responsible for clothing your son.

Original poster
thedevilisinthedetail · 11/11/2011 21:53

Thinking that returns is probably easiest way to deal with it. Thank you.

OP posts:
PootlePosyPumpkin · 11/11/2011 21:53

Why is it wrong for an 8 month old baby to get clothes as a present? I don't understand. An older child, yes, of course but a small baby? Really? As long as he has a few little toys to play with will be care or even know?

PootlePosyPumpkin · 11/11/2011 21:54

he not be

EBDteacher · 11/11/2011 21:58

FabbyChic what kind of a world do you live in where it isn't at all helpful for relatives to help out with basics??

My DH and I are both senior teachers with good incomes. We still ask for John Lewis vouchers for our 14mo DS's 'present opportunities' because we appreciate the help with shoes and coats. Obviously it is different when they are old enough to know about and appreciate presents- than they should get fun stuff. But at 8mo YABVU.

Sirzy · 11/11/2011 22:00

If she wants to buy him clothes fine, if she wants to buy him so cars fine, if she wants to buy dolls fine.

Surely its the thought that counts and I can fully understand why grandparents would want to buy toys for grandchildren for christmas/birthdays etc rather than clothes.

exoticfruits · 11/11/2011 22:14

It seems a lot simpler from this sort of thread not to ask and get a surprise.

StealthPenguin · 11/11/2011 22:23

I think your mum is being a bit unreasonble to be honest - DP and I have bought toys for DS and so we've said to relatives that we aren't expecting gifts for him as he'll only be 5 months and has enough toys, but if they like then they can give him some 6-9 and 9-12 clothes. They've had absolutely no problem with this and MIL has already bought him a Tigger-top-and-jeans combo with matching bodywarmer!

Ephiny · 11/11/2011 22:29

The thing is though, OP has already mentioned about the clothes and her mum chose to ignore the 'hint'...so while yes she may be a bit unreasonable and unhelpful, I don't think there anything to be gained by pushing the issue.

ninjasquirrel · 11/11/2011 22:30

I don't get what's wrong with asking for clothes as a present for a baby if he's got lots of toys already - it's not like he has any understanding of what a 'present' is or will care about it like an older child would.

MildlyNarkyPuffin · 11/11/2011 22:38

I am Grin at the idea of gender specific bath toys.

How does one sex a plastic frog?

Swipe left for the next trending thread