To get irritated by friend who often leaves heavy items at my house after a stay and then expects me to post them back?

[perceptionreality]

She is generally quite thoughtless person anyway. But it annoys me the way she comes and then leaves important things like her phone and her charger, big bags of stuff which are heavy and expects me to post them.

Last time I told her to check around the house and she said there was no need! I think she assumes I will post it so she doesn't have to bother but I find it an imposition. AIBU?

I've not posted it and she's now whinging on facebook about me not being a good friend, etc

Ah, how to cut her out. Hmm. Being polite, not getting involved really. No offering suggestions, just lukewarm sympathy. People grab onto you when you seem to have the answer to their problems - giving them space to work it out for themselves separates the users from the true friends.

It's tricky to do to start with - what can really help is picturing someone who wouldn't get stuck, and doing what they'd do iyswim?

Defriend.

Accidentally delete her from Facebook then

Whingihg on FB to you privately or in public? If the latter I would suggest defriending her.

Repeat after me:

People who matter don't mind. People who mind don't matter.

That's your mantra when you're looking in the mirror of a morning grasshopper

Hide her posts!

Oh she is playing you like a violin! You're afraid of other people's reactions, and she's whinging on Facebook about you, pushing all your buttons. Sorry, but you're being a bit wet. if someone turns up expecting you run around after them when you have a 2 week old baby, you say "Are you having a laugh? I've just had a baby! Unless you've come to make my dinner kindly get your behind off my sofa!" If you don't want to be friends with her, then don't be friends. Not on Facebook not in life. If you never see her again you're not going to see her reaction, are you? Just don't call her, defriend her, and if she shows up say 'I wasn't expecting you. It's not convenient.' If she says you're not being a good friend - well, duh, you aren't friends. So therefore you aren't good friends.

OK, defriend her from facebook, do not answer any more calls/texts/emails. She will soon realise her mistake or maybe not but it doesn't matter anyway. If you have any mutual friends do not bring it up unless they do, if/when they do then just explain the same way you have done on here.

You're right becstar, I agree I've not handled this situation well.

Luckily she does live quite a way from me and we do not have mutual friends

Oh, just bloody delete her. You don't need the hassle.

Oh in that case she's dead easy to dump. Defriend her on FB right now. And then call someone you're actually friends with, someone who isn't just a taker, and arrange to meet up. When this nonfriend e-mails just don't answer, if she calls either screen your calls or say 'Sorry just running out the door...'. Just Do It.

Why don't you just tell her the truth?

"I'm not being difficult or trying to be mean but postage has started to add up and having to keep waiting in the post office is difficult with a toddler prone to tantrums as i'm sure you must appreciate blah blah"

It doesn't sound as if you have much to lose?

I have told her but she doesn't get it.

Personally i would comment on her post publically that if she sends you x for postage you'll post it on as you've already paid x in tge past for her or she can cone and collect... Out her for being a cow bag!

Oh well in that case just tell her you're not prepared to do it anymore and leave her to her grumbling!

Say you've posted it and donate to a charity shop. She'll never leave anything behind again as she'll worry it will get lost in the post again...

I think I need to get rid really as she exhausts me every time she comes. Perhaps I will change my telephone number as well.

Ooo ooo ooo - I've noticed some bigger postboxes recently and I can't remember where, but near businesses - big enough to put a reasonably sized parcel in anyway. So put a 2nd class stamp on and don't put your address anyway on or in the package and dump it for her

Anyway - what are the chances you're the only one of her 'friends' she treats this way?

She is one of those people who does not have any long term friends - her friends disappear then she gets new ones who disappear. It's no wonder really is it?

message her. tell her it's too expensive to post. tell her to arrange for a courier to collect it from you. end of.